Tag Archives: Romeo

Dancing With The Stars – Week 8 & 9

One Sentence Summary:  I am declaring war on WordPress.

Bruno Feels My Pain

My Thoughts:  Hmm… My thoughts…  What am I thinking right now?  I’m thinking WordPress can suck it!  I had just finished my way late review of Weeks 8 & 9 when it disappeared into thin air just as I hit the “Publish” button.   Yeah, you read that right.  Gone.  Poof.  Hilarity thwarted.  Someone please explain to me how that happens.  Actually don’t.  The damage to my spirit has been done.  Anywho, after the initial shock wore off, I knew that I was faced with the daunting task of rewriting the entire thing.  So, I did what any good responsible blogger would do… I closed my computer, went to a sushi dinner with a friend & drank lots of sake.  Kampai!

So, I really did want to recreate the post as I believe it’s some of my best work but, let’s be honest, I’m far too lazy for that.  Besides, I’m just getting back to speed after the Winey Bitches First Annual Company Retreat.  Consuming all those poolside Rum Runners and Piña Coladas is grueling work, people.  You don’t just bounce back from that kind of effort.

So, I offer you a few notes on Weeks 8 & 9 while we wait for tomorrow’s results…

Week 8

First and foremost, I was confused by “instant dances”.  I was thinking we were going to see a dance-off a la Britney & Justin where everyone just does their own thing… you know, instantly.  But no, we just saw couples dance rehearsed dances to songs they didn’t hear until 20 minutes prior.  It was more like “Somewhat Off-Tempo” dances. Way to oversell it DWTS.

Second, I spent the majority of the show more fascinated with the clothing than the dancing.  Like this gem:

Aside from the fact that the double pucker almost made me pass out, I don’t even know what to do with her outfit.  Look, I’m in no position to be knocking on someone’s lack of knockers but I’m thinking this wasn’t the best choice of top for Chelsea.  She looks like a kid playing dress-up in her stripper mom’s closet.  But those judges just love them some Princess Petunia Pucker and she gets the highest scores of the night.

But I did love this:

So pretty and floaty and girlie and peach.  Usually, Kym is one stitch away from a massive wardrobe malfunction so this was a nice change.  And being that the duo did not divert from their usual ballad, it worked.  I’m just happy that their “instant” dance was upbeat and we could see Hines actually get his groove on.  I would like to request they do their final dance to the classic hit, Rumpshaker. 

Then there was this:

Really?  Red vinyl?  Yes, I get the homage to Britney’s “Oops I Did It Again” video since they were, in fact, dancing to Brit Brit but this dress is just “Oops”.  I was so distracted by it that I almost missed Romeo plug his latest project.  Thankfully, he had another crack at the mike after their second dance so I was quickly back up to speed on the career track.  Whew, that was close.

But nothing could prepare me for this:

What…the… F…. is that?  Holy Ghost of Denny Terrio, Batman!  Please tell me that is not a mesh mock turtleneck!  I refuse to believe it.  It’s bad.  So so so bad.  All I see when I look at this is Dorothy Zbornak (aka Bea Arthur) on her way to a formal event with the other Golden Girls.  Ralph Macchio should never ever be shopping in Dorthy Zbornak’s closet.  I think that’s a pretty safe rule.  It didn’t help that the Karate Kid was suffering from a bum knee.  I bet, if they would have somehow incorporated the crane kick into the routine, their scores would have been significantly higher.  Just sayin’…

And since I’ve now gone through the whole show even though I said I wasn’t going to, might as well cover Kirstie…

I love that she ratcheted up the sexy with some fishnets.  She looks great here.  Then came dance number 2 and Kirstie was back in leggings.  Who did she piss off in the costume department?  It’s not nice.  Not nice at all.   Stop putting her in leggings!  Maybe the seamstress is forced to sit through Maks & Kirstie’s rehearsals and has just snapped from all their bickering.  I know it’s pushing me over the edge.  I’m not sure if it’s more apparent now that Kendra and her incessant whining is gone but enough already.  Maks is officially now on the “Shh Baby Don’t Talk” list.

Then there was the Results Show…

I was so excited when I heard that Adele was performing.  Finally, some really great new music!  Then, I hear the words “Michael” and “Bolton”.   Um, did we just get hurtled back to 1984?  Well, according to Ralph’s mock turtleneck, the answer would be yes.  Thankfully, I had DVR’d the Results Show so I could get my soul on with Adele and then fast forward on triple-time through Bolton to the results.  Not surprisingly, Romeo was sent packing.  You know there’s a “Where art thou Romeo” joke here but even I can’t be that cheesy.  We’re now down the Final Four.

Week 9

Ok, I have to admit that I didn’t see Week 9 as I was still Company Retreating.  I tried to watch it online but it wouldn’t load.  The ads for the delicious Magnum Ice Cream Bars loaded but not the show.  Like I needed any more incentive to eat ice cream.  But I digress… I then tried the next best thing which was reading the show recaps on the abc website.  Yeah, that was enlightening.  So, I’m not even going to waste your time trying to write a review of a show I didn’t see.  I will just jump to the results…

Well, actually first I need to comment on Kirstie’s outfit.  From the waist up, she looks fantastic.  From the waist down, leggings.  Again.  Come on!  You can’t see it in this photo but the way the legging cuts her ankles next to the t-strap shoes is just not flattering.  Can someone please help a sister out?  Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest, the elimination….  It’s wax off for the Karate Kid.  We all know I’d rather it be Chelsea but, at this point in the competition, anyone that leaves is just one person closer to Hines winning the disco ball… I mean mirror trophy.


Dancing With The Stars – Week 7 & Results Show

One Sentence Summary:  This week we’re treated to Ballroom Greats Week and a 4th Judge.

Ballroom Great Tanorexia Burns

My Thoughts: 

Rachel:  Let me start by saying that I was none too pleased to be yanked from my 24-hour news watching to tune into Ballroom Greats Week.  It’s like walking out of a horror movie into a dance scene from High School Musical… it’s jarring.  Then to add to my fragile state, I find out there are team dances and we have a fourth judge this week; Donnie Burns, Ballroom Great… Hence, this week being called Ballroom Greats.  He sounds like a character from The Simpsons.  Kinda looks like one too.  I also see we’re back to two hours.  Come on now.  I was really enjoying that extra 30 minutes.  What filler are you going to throw at me this week… Oh right, ballroom greats.  Zzzzzzzz…….  Ok, let’s get this over with.

Team Chelsea

Chelsea, Romeo & Ralph are up first for team dances.   They are cha-cha-ing to Lady GaGa’s “Born This Way.”  


Team dancing is kind of funny.  It’s kind of a mess.  That’s why it’s kind of funny. The two scoring leaders from last week, Chelsea & Hines, were named team captains and got to choose their teams.  This team considers themselves the young team…. Um, have you met Ralph Macchio?  I would like to put in a request that, in my next life, I come back with Karina’s body.  While I recognize that actually getting off the couch and moving my body might help in achieving that goal in this life, it seems much easier to just wish for a better body in the next one.  So, wishing it is!  They did ok.  Scored 30 out of 40.

Team Hines

Hines, Kirstie & Kendra make up team two and rock it out to Ke$ha’s “We R Who We R”.

Ok, let me just get right down to it here.  Why on earth would Hines choose Kendra over Romeo for his team?  Historically, a member of the team with the lowest score goes home.  So, now I have to hope Hines gets a lower score so Kendra goes home?  That ain’t cool.  And no, I’m not willing to put up with Kendra for another week.  I’m over her and her farting in rehearsal this week didn’t help matters.  I love that Hines called her out for not saying “excuse me” but really, at this point, there is no excuse for her.  I will say that hearing someone else sing Ke$ha made me realize that half of why I can’t stand her songs really is Ke$ha herself.  The other half is the song itself.  And I say “song” not “songs” because they are all essentially the same.  Finally, Kirstie looks awesome but I’m not sure it was the most fair thing in the world to put her in Pepto pink next to the other two ladies.  Anywho, they also scored 30 points so it’s anyone’s game this week.

We Interrupt This Ballroom Dance For A News Break

Diane Sawyer pops in to keep us up on the Bin Laden news.

Remember 3 paragraphs ago when I said changing gear from news to reality TV was jarring?  Well, tossing me back into the serious nature of the news when I’ve shifted the command center engines down into neutral isn’t much better.  As my friend Brian so eloquently stated, “Can I have a little fantasy in my reality?”  Seriously.  Pretty sure he decided to watch reruns of the Royal Wedding while I trudge through for you.  Who’s the martyr now?

Chelsea Kane

Chelsea & Mark dance to “Ghosts ‘N Stuff” by Deadmau5.

Before I get into my usual Chelsea bugs me tirade, I must give credit where credit is due.  Mark picks some awesome music.  Deadmau5 on Dancing With The Stars?  That’s awesome.  Totally makes up for Ke$ha (That dollar sign is starting to piss me off).  Mark’s mom (aka Shirley Ballas, Latin Dance Champion) came to rehearsal and tried to help Chelsea channel her dark side.  I kept watching and thinking, if you really want to get her to stop smiling, just tell her to pucker.  It’s one or the other during her dancing.  The judges were split over the edgy Paso Doble.  Could Chelsea be in trouble? Nah, scores weren’t bad.

Kendra Wilkinson

Kendra & Louis dance to “Jealousy” by Billy Fury.  Who?

It’s too bad Kendra already irritated me tonight because she actually made it through a rehearsal without her usual bitching and moaning.  But alas, detente was not to be.  Kendra trained with Ballroom Great Luca Baricchi who told her that you have to hold a body close and feeeeel it to be a good dancer.  That’s an awesome bar trick.  I wonder how many ladies (or gents?) have fallen for that one.  Kendra’s dance was pretty stiff tonight… and that’s not a euphemism.  Could this be the week?

Kirstie Alley

Kirstie & Maks get their Jive on to “La Bamba”. 

It seems like Kirstie & Maks genuinely like each other and have a great relationship.  So, I wonder why he would let her wear those heavy dark leggings?   Flattering is not a word I would use.  First the Pepto pink and now the purple people eater.  Why?  It’s just mean.  She would have been cute in a nude stocking…  And that, friends, is officially the first and, I hope, last time I ever recommend a nude stocking for anything ever.  The dance was fun but not the greatest.  I hope Kirstie doesn’t knock Kendra out of contention for going home.

Ralph Macchio

Ralph & Karina kick up their heels to “Pencil Full of Lead” by Paolo Nutini.

Ralph started feeling the bones rebelling this week in rehearsals.  Looks like Daniel-San needs to get acquainted with some Ben-Gay.   I do love Karina’s outfit.  Add that to the wish list.  So, when I come back in my next life with her body, I’d like to be in that outfit… and since we’re asking, could I be dancing cheek-to-cheek with Christian Bale?  Too much?  Eh, girl’s gotta have dreams.  Karina & Ralph rocked it out and net the best scores of the night.  Viva Le Senior!

Hines “Oh Captain, My Captain” Ward

Hines & Kym get intense with “La Leccion de Tango” by Fred Frith & Sally Potter.

Luca showed up at Hines & Kym’s practice but no one cares because the real guest of honor was Jerome “The Bus” Bettis!  I’m pretty sure I yelled “The Bus!  Woo!” to an empty room.  I love that the Steelers are representing!  Might be the closest I get to a football season this year.  Sad sad sad… But I digress.  Hines rocked it out as usual and Kym was scantily clad as usual.  I swear she’s one hook stitch from dancing naked.   I have no idea if there is something called a hook stitch but it sounded good, no?  Hines ties for top score of the night with a 10 from Bruno.  Yeah, boy!


Romeo & Chelsea samba to Michael Franti & Spearhead’s “Say Hey (I Love You)”

Wow, that was just awkward.  I’m physically uncomfortable.  Seems Mama Ballas has the roar of the cougar inside of her.  She was all up on our boy Romeo even calling him a “naughty boy”.  Okaaaaaay…. Can we get on with the show now, Mrs. Robinson?  I liked Romeo’s dance but didn’t really understand the costume theme here.  It was like slutty Can-Can girl meets the army dude by a campfire?  Happy to hear suggestions on this one because I don’t get it.  The judges didn’t get the dancing & he’s in the bottom with Kirstie.  He may be in trouble.

Results Show

Well, I’ve got say that the talent this week didn’t piss me off.  James Blunt, Nikki Minaj and Wayne Brady.  Not a bad crew.  But that’s really irrelevant because KENDRA WENT HOME!!!!  Kirstie and a surprising Chelsea made up the bottom 3 but KENDRA WENT HOME!!!  It only took 7 long weeks of suffering and doing nothing about it like voting but she’s gone.  She’s gone.  She’s gone.  Happy dance.  I was going to say something nice about her saying she was going home to be a mom until she spent the rest of the show gyrating like a two-dollar hooker.  Peace out, Kendra.  The air is already fresher.  Next on my list, Lemony Snicket.

Bottom Line:  Happy endings make happy Rachel.  Next week is Instant Choreography Week.  I have no idea what that means but it sounds like a disaster…. Bring it on!

Dancing With The Stars – Week 6 & Results Show

One-Sentence Summary:  It’s Guilty Pleasures Week which scares and excites me at the same time.

My Thoughts: 

DWTS's Bruno Tonioli sharing more of him than necessary in Elton John's "I'm Stil Standing" video.

Rachel:  Well, this week’s show accomplished something no other entity has been able to accomplish… For the first time ever, I listened to “MmmmmBop” in its entirety.  I don’t feel good about this.  How was I to be prepared for Hanson being sprung on me like that?  I’m sure Tom Bergeron announced it at some point but he and Brooke Burke sound a lot like Charlie Brown’s teacher on my TV.  But, as they say, every gray cloud has a silver lining…. and boy was this week’s silver lining glittery!   Behold the spectacle that is Bruno’s starring role in Elton John’s 1983 video for “I’m Still Standing”.   I gotta tell you, I’m still laughing.  Not many things can leave me jaw-on-the-floor-hand-over-mouth speechless.  That did.  Friends, that is my reward for suffering through this show for 6 weeks now.  I actually looked the video up on YouTube after tonight’s episode to get another good laugh out of it.  Ahhh… good times.  Oh right… dancing.  Sorry. 

Once Wasn’t Enough

Bwhahahaha!  I’m sorry.  I had to have more crack at this.  Oh, the 80’s were so amazing.  I so badly want to go to Cannes and shimmy down the Croisette singing this song now.  But dreams aside, let’s get to the real issue here… There is waaaaaaaay more information being shared in these outfits than I ever needed to know about Bruno.  Ever.  Including the fact that we all now know that Bruno waxes.  No man can pull of the French-cut banana hammock without manscaping.  For reals.  He should have been with us for the Real Housewives of New York this past week.  He could have given us the male point of view.  I said “male” not “masculine”.

Ok… ok… back to the show…

Kirstie Alley

Kirstie and Maks dance to Britney’s “…One More Time”


You know I want to rip this song choice apart but, dammit, it really is a guilty pleasure, isn’t it?  Come on, you know you’re out there singing “Oh baby baby…” in that sexy little voice.  This was fun.  I enjoyed myself but, you know me, I do have to take point with something.  What on earth would make Maks choose brown polyester pants with the satin stripe?  Not a good look.  Not a good look at all.  It reminds me of something my dad and his brothers wore to one of the brother’s weddings….  Let’s see if I can find that little gem.  Ah yes…  Behold!

‘Nuff said.  (Sorry, Dad.)

Chris Jericho

Chris & Cheryl rock it out to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'”.

Yes!  Journey!  Wait, is Journey a guilty pleasure?  Or is it just a pleasure?  Think about it…  Either way, I’m loving it!  That Chris Jericho is really trying to steal this girl’s heart…. and it’s working.  Unfortunately, his dancing this week was sort of brick-ish.  Not good.  The judges scores indicated they agreed.  That ain’t good.  I’m worried about my boy this week.


Romeo & Chelsea dance to “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion.

Uh, I have no response for that song choice.  See, as Journey is just a pleasure.  This song is just guilty.  There is nothing pleasurable about it.  And color me surprised that Romeo chose it (and that he admits to Titanic being his favorite movie).  His pre-dance video was pretty fun this week.  He seems to be getting more comfortable with this whole dance show situation.  You know, halfway through the season.  The dance was spot-on even if the audio portion was painful.  He even sealed the dance with a lingering kiss at the end (Are these two an item?).  Carrie bestows the first 10 of the season on Romeo.   

Chelsea Kane

La Snickett & Mark are “Walkin’ On Sunshine” with Katrina & The Waves.

Ok, here’s the thing.  Mark Ballas is by far the best choreographer on the show.  He really pushes the envelope and uses his imagination to keep us entertained.  That was a fantastic and fun routine… to the point where I almost forgot that I cannot stand that song.  It’s so bad that it makes me break out in a rash.  Yes, I dislike it that intensely.  But I digress.  It just bums me out that I cannot get 100% on board with Mark because his partner DRIVES ME BANANAS… and this week is dressed like a banana.  Coincidence?  I know I drone on about the pucker but it’s actually the thing causing the rash this week…. Yes, that’s the cause!  Don’t look at me like that.  Pucker aside, the dance was great and Carrie Ann bestows the second 10.  Magic happens twice.

Kendra Wilkinson

Kendra & Louie shimmy their way through “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin.

Yes, that’s Bruno waiving a dollar at Kendra.  And yes, that’s what her dance this week modeled itself after.  The only thing missing was a pole.  I give it to Louie though.  He finally figured out how to choreograph a dance that Kendra could pull off.   She did actually crack a joke during rehearsals this week….But I still find her to be miserable and whiny.  I want her to go home.  I wish she’d go home.  Please send her home.  I’m begging here.

Hines “No Guilt. Just Pleasure.” Ward

Hines & Kym glide around the floor to Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road”.

Look at that poise!  No seriously.  Take a minute.  Look.  Admire.  Enjoy.  While I take issue with his pants choice, Hines worked the floor again this week.  And seriously, he practices at home with a pillow?  Does it get any more adorable than that?  I think not.  He earned straight 9’s from the judges.  I think he would have gotten a 10 had they maybe pushed the envelope a bit.  Well, I think that because the judges said it… but I agree!  He didn’t make the top of the leader board this week but he’s not going anywhere.

Ralph Macchio

Ralph & Karina close the night with “Gonna Make You Sweat” by C+C Music Factory.

Karina took a pretty big tumble this week but that wasn’t the awkward part of this number.  The Sgt. Pepper outfit while dancing ballroom to a club hit was the awkward part of this number.  After last week’s rodeo mixed with ballroom catastrophe, I’m not sure this was the way to go.  This was way more wax off than wax on.  But I give him props for the way he comforted Karina afterwards.  That was most cool.  His scores were not great… He may be in trouble here.

Results Show

As I refuse to give this show 3.5 hours of my life in a week, I did something productive during the first hour of the results extravaganza.  I watched Repo Games on Spike TV.  If you haven’t yet witnessed this train wreck, I highly highly recommend it.  It’s a game show mashed together with car repossession.  How brilliant!  But what do you expect from the producers that brought us Jersey Shore?  I did catch a bit of Rock Of Ages (I keep calling it Rock of Love) but couldn’t take more than a few seconds of Constatine Maroulis. What’s the appeal?  I don’t get it.

And while I’d like to wax poetic about the extremely guilty pleasure that is New Kids on the Block and the bizarre “Stand By Me” routine by the Macy’s dancers and the really beautiful dance performed by Mark & Karina to “I’ll Stand By You” by Glee’s Pia Toscano… Yeah, I know it’s American Idol but she’s better suited to Glee and will be cast as Rachel’s rival next season… You heard it here first… Fine, I totally made that up… Wait, where was I?  Oh yeah, I’d be totally into giving you the who’s who and what’s what about that but I’m far too busy being PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED.  Really America?  You sent my Chris home?  Kendra stays and Chris goes?  Where is the justice in that?  Feh… I’m going to go crack open a bottle of Conundrum and plot my revenge.

Dancing With The Stars – Week 5 & Results Show

One-Sentence Summary:  The Stars get patriotic during “America Week”.

Kendra Finally Shows Us Her Real Talent

My Thoughts:  Oh boy, America Week.  I can’t wait to see what joys this theme brings.  From the looks of the intro, we can expect the American flag to reimagined as bustiers and low-rise pants.  That seems patriotic.  I’m sure that’s what Betsy Ross had in mind when she was sewing the first flag.  I read once that she was even thinking of starting her own Stars & Stripes fashion line but just couldn’t find the time (She was a very busy woman, people.  Read your history books.).   You know what else seems patriotic?  Dancing the samba.  Nothing says Americana like Latin dance.  I mean shouldn’t you have to do… I don’t know, the Hustle?  Or the Electric Slide?  Or some American dance that we won’t be too embarrassed to admit we invented.  Alright, let’s get this party started… How many dances until someone does An Officer & A Gentleman tribute?

Ralph kicks up his heels and dances the samba to Sweet Home Alabama.

Um.  The samba.  In a cowboy hat.  To Lynyrd Skynyrd.  I don’t really have words.  I do have letters though and I believe they are W, T & F.  Seriously, WTF?  That actually confused me.  They got not so great scores so I guess the judges didn’t get it either despite Carrie Ann’s gushing.  I think Ralph might be in the bottom three… which will be even more humiliating in the outfit… but I doubt he’s leaving this week.

Chris Jericho

Chris & Cheryl go really old school with America The Beautiful.

First soldier costume of the night goes to Chris.  It was a good dance but kinda boring.  I have to admit he looks kinda cute with his hair combed all nice & neat like that.  Yes, I’m falling under the Chris Jericho spell.  Next thing you know, I’m gonna be writing a letter to his fan club (address found in the back of Bop, of course) asking for an autographed picture.  Judges seem to be feeling the effects of the Jericho fairy dust and give him his highest score of the season… including the “8” from Len which Chris was about to Figure Four Leglock out of him.

Petra Nemcova

The Czech & the Russian dance to Elvis’s Viva Las Vegas. 

Petra is starting to grow on me.  I want to dislike her because… well, because it’s what I do but she really is a nice person.  Petra had never heard of Elvis growing up in the Communist-ruled Czechoslovakia (Yeah, I know it’s the Czech Republic now) and reflects on the beauty of life.  Nice moment… I half expect bunny rabbits to nestle at her feet and a bluebird to land on her shoulder.  It’s so crazy to think that you can grow up never even hearing of Elvis.  I believe in America you can be deported for not having heard an Elvis song by the time you’re sixteen.  Pretty sure it’s a question on the driver’s test.  Anywho, Petra’s lovely.  Her dancing is not.  She may go home before this friendship is on solid ground.


Romeo channels his inner Rat Pack with Sinatra’s New York, New York.

Romeo got serious about the competition this week and put it into high gear.  He was so intense about his dancing that he went all Michael Jordan on us… tongue hanging out everywhere.  But he was feeling it and it showed.  He also danced the Foxtrot which I think just might be an American dance.  Judges give him high enough scores to tie for first. I like this kid.  He can stay.

Hines “Let’s Do It For Our Country” Ward

Hines & his half-naked partner dance to God Bless The USA.

<<awkward silence>>……….. Well, I should have seen it coming being that he was wearing a white sailor’s outfit.  Behold the Officer & Gentleman moment.  And as if it wasn’t bad enough, they danced it to “God Bless The USA” which is one of the worst songs in the history of songs.  Look, I know it’s patriotic and it might make you want to put a boot in someone’s ass but it’s a suck-ass song.  It really is.  That being said, Hines worked it out and made the dance floor his bitch.  Highest score of the night.  Straight nines!

Kirstie Alley

Kirstie & Maks gyrate to American Woman.

What made this dance American was the cheese.  I know I’m going to upset a lot of the ladies out there that love themselves some Maks (Can I call you Maksi Pads?) but that was just Velveeta.  Now I loves me a nice set of abs as much as the next lady but that reeked of narcissism.  Boring… boring.  But they did get John Travolta to swing by rehearsal and give them some dancing tips.  Oh, those Scientologists.  They’re such cards.  Kirstie & Maks may be in trouble.

Kendra Wilkinson

Kendra bitches, moans and dances to Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Oh do shut up, Kendra.  Once again Kendra is upset and spends half the rehearsal footage bitching about Carrie Ann calling her out about elegance.  I don’t know how Louie puts up with it.  Methinks his patience is wearing as thin as ours and this ridiculous number feels almost like sabotage.  Well played, Louie.  Well played.   I want her gone… Now.  Her scores are crappy so maybe my wish will come true.

Chelsea Kane

Lemony Snickett is back with a Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus

Chelsea likes three things:  America, Miley Cyrus and partying.  Awesome.  I can barely focus on the dancing with this chick.  All I can see is that pout.  That pout haunts me where I sleep.  And what is with her wearing tiny spandex dresses to rehearsal?  This is a family show, lady.  The only saving grace here is that it’s the last dance and tonight’s show was only 90 minutes.  That’s a 30-minute gift for those that don’t feel like doing the math.  It’s also 30 minutes earlier that I get to take my Nyquil and numb the pain.  Chelsea got great scores.  She’s staying put…

The Results

Ok, I cannot tell a lie.  I DVR’d tonight, fast forwarded til I saw that Hines was safe and then fast forwarded to the elimination.  I just can’t watch Toby Keith.  I’m not gonna get all political on here as it’s not the place… Suffice it to say, I’m not a fan.  So, let’s move past it and get to the subject at hand… The fact that Kendra is not in the bottom three AGAIN and Chris Jericho is.  What in the tarnation is going on here???  Are there really more boob-obsessed geeks out there than there are WWE fans?  I find this hard to believe.

Kirstie and Maks are in the bottom as well but are saved first.  It comes down to Chris & Petra.  Petra is sent home.  Just when I was starting to like her too.  Ah well, she is thankful for the attention her Happy Hearts Foundation has received and leaves like a lady.

That’s it.  Next week I’m voting for everyone except Kendra… yes, including Chelsea.  See what this show has done to me?