Tag Archives: Little Town

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5, Ep 17: Hair We Go Again

One Sentence Summary:  Rumors are still flying and fingers are still pointing.

Melissa’s Thoughts:

That's right... I should be a chef what with all the pot-stirring.

That’s right… I should be a chef what with all the pot-stirring I do.

Here we go again my friends, I’m behind on my reviews with nothing to blame but the day job and exhaustion.  I’m now back amongst the loving (sort of) thanks to 2 straight nights of 12+ hours of sleep.  So this week it’s yet another Posche “event”.  Seriously folks, does anyone else think Kim D is like a bad penny?  We just can’t get rid of her!  Haven’t the Housewives learned from last year that nothing good can come of Kim D and her events?  I guess the fact that they don’t learn from history means we’re doomed to be treated to another season-end blow up.  So in an attempt to get myself back on track I’m going to give you my 500 words on the antics this week.

NJ Ladies in 500 or less

Melissa is off to Orlando to prove herself and score a record deal. Teresa went the denial route when confronted about Penny’s story – naturally.  Teresa and Jac are all made up and shopping at Posche like old times.  On a side note, I didn’t need to know that Tre thinks camel toe is sexy.  Kim announces Posche 2 with a grand opening, and surprise, surprise… Penny is invited.  Teresa spins her tale that Penny is lying as Kim tries to hide her knowing smirk.  Melissa arrives at the compound to work for a live radio spot to get some street cred and squash the lip-synching rumors.  It’s birthday time in the Wakile household and looks like Joseph is getting a new Jeep… fully loaded with Dad’s inappropriate comments about enlarging his penis {skeeve}.  Teresa tries to channel her inner Prince for lunch with Victoria Gotti.  But let’s be honest Prince wouldn’t be caught dead in that Muppet jacket and pimp hat combination. Victoria’s advice is to talk to the kids about Juicy’s woes and stand by his side.  Melissa working with her vocal coach sounds about as good as I do in the shower.  Clearly he’s not convinced of her skills.  Little Town is finally opening and the boys are stressing.  The troops arrive to show their support and Albert gives his blessing, so I guess that’s that.  Meanwhile back in Florida it’s Melissa’s show on 106.7 where she pitches her track and is ready to jam… just as Teresa makes sure Juicy puts the radio on to hear.  Plus there’s a listening party at Jac’s house.  Why does she have back up dancers for the radio?  She made the show so I guess she’s a proper singer now?  Next up, Penny’s hubs tried to claim the Lauritas are making up Nic’s autism – uncool douche.  Jac can’t wait to confront them at the Posche event.  It’s Posche night and Joey wants Melissa to get to the bottom of the rumors and he’s going to have some words with the hubs.  Teresa is still claiming Penny is lying.  Flash bulbs burst as the folks arrive to the event and the crew discusses Penny’s hubs.  The lady of the hour arrives and Jac is ready to roll.  Penny claims her hubs didn’t say anything, but then she was asked to do it.  Melissa grabs Penny to talk and guess what?  She still dimed Tre out.

Bottom Line:

Here were go again, not learning from our mistakes and we’re back at a Posche throw down.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5, Ep 11: Children of the Scorned

One Sentence Summary:  It’s a sad evening in Jersey as we bid farewell to a close friend.

Melissa’s Thoughts: 

What if I'm not able to read Two Winey Bitches blogs in San Fran?!

What if I’m not able to read the Two Winey Bitches blog in San Fran?!

Here we are with me still frantically playing catch up before the next episode of the Teresa is destroying everyone’s life show… and by everyone I mean me.  Let’s face it friends, it’s not the waiting for the work week to start that ruins my Sundays it’s knowing that face and voice are going to be the last thing I see before going to sleep.  I’m so tired of Teresa’s antics lately I dread what used to be my favorite group of Housewives.  Teresa makes the Miami ladies seem more fun, and we all know I continuously scratch my head as to how they keep coming back into my life.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5, Ep 10: Best Frenemies Forver

One Sentence Summary:  Filled with thoughts of “fixing” things Teresa thinks she can fix Jacqueline… if only she’ll apologize to Teresa.

Melissa’s Thoughts: 

So yeah, I'm slowly ruining this show because I can't let these bitches have anything.

So yeah, I’m slowly ruining this show because I can’t let these bitches have anything.

So here’s the thing friends, I have NO CLUE what the Jersey peeps have going on this week.  I think they are headed home from their upstate jaunt which means there needs to be some Jacqueline happening.  I’m really just getting super tired of Teresa’s rants about how everyone is out to get her and everyone owes her something to make right for what they’ve done.  Really, I’d rather have my gums scraped than deal with more of Teresa.  Sadly, my dentist wasn’t available so I’ll need to watch instead… boy I was hoping for a good scraping instead.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5, Ep 5: Everything is Coming Up Rosie

One Sentence Summary:  A  phone pays the ultimate price for all the fighting in the Giudice / Gorga clan.

Melissa’s Thoughts: 

While showing off his matching skull cap / jacket combo du jour Joey wonders why he's had such a headache all day, could be that rubber band around his head.  Maybe it was to remind him to take an aspirin for his headache?

While showing off his matching skull cap / jacket combo du jour Joey wonders why he’s had such a headache all day.  Could it be that rubber band around his head? Maybe it was to remind him to take an aspirin for his headache.

Hey there friends, anyone else wondering what the fall out is going to be from the Giudice / Gorga gym brawl?  Let me wager a guess… Teresa is going to tell Juicy who will point the blame at Joey, and Joey will tell Melissa who will blame Teresa.  I know, it’s like I’m psychic.  Let’s see if I made the right call or both parties met in the parking lot to hug it out (sha right!!).  This is Jersey, no one gets off that easily, especially not after tossing a drink – well, water at least.

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