Tag Archives: Housewives

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 6, Episode 1: What a Difference A Plea Makes

One Sentence Summary:  It’s not just the Guidice jury that is out… we’re still not sure Auntie Dina and some newbies can they save the franchise after nixing some key Jersey ladies (fish eye to you Bravo for letting Caroline go).

Just because… WOW, that hair!!

Just because… WOW, that hair!!

Melissa’s Thoughts:

My favorite Auntie Dina returns and I couldn’t be happier… For real!!  Not gonna lie…  I’d “skin her to wear like last season’s Versace.” if she’d let me.  I mean I would Staubb her or anything, jus hang and drink wine.  There’s a chance she might even be able to earn the Jersey ladies an increase to their allotted 500 or less. But let’s face it, she has some stiff competition what with Joey’s constant “stiff”  and such comments and the newbies who already rub me the wrong way and I’ve only seen previews.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5 Reunion Part 2

One Sentence Summary:  Part 2 leaves us scratching our head trying to figure out how one Housewife changed into her crazy pants without us realizing.

Melissa’s Thoughts:

We're right there with you Andy... we're exhausted too.

Kinda wishing you had a drink right now don’t you Andy?  We’ll have a cocktail for you.

Shhhh… do you hear that?  THAT my friends is the sound of silence in my home.  THAT my friends is the sound of my having NOTHING else to worry about for the rest of the evening, dishes are done, house is clean(ish), day job is wrapped up and there’s nothing else to do.  To celebrate my hushed freedom I’m going to celebrate in my most favorite way ever… BAD TELEVISION!!  That’s right, I’m going to put my feet up and FINALLY catch up on the tilt-o-whirl that is the the Jersey Housewives reunion – part 2 that is.  All aboard, next stop… Crazy Town.  Oh yeah, and THAT was the sound of the cork on my pinot… it’s a happy day!

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5 Reunion Part 1

One Sentence Summary:  Part 1 marks the return of Dr. V because we need more therapy with our NJ ladies.

Melissa’s Thoughts:

The ladies open old wounds for the sake of the Reunion

The ladies open old wounds for the sake of the Reunion

Here I am again chugging away too many weeks behind to even keep up so we’re going to go Jersey Dirty on the plethora of Reunion episodes Bravo will most likely throw at us.  BTW, no clue where Jersey Dirty came from, I’m just rolling with it.  It could be a strange night friends.  I know I’ve said this before (at least once for sure) but I don’t know why we need to have the multiple hours of a reunion.  I mean, what else do we need to say?  Like I want to tell miss Miley lately… Leave a little something to the imagination will ya?  Sorry I really don’t want to start out on a soapbox rant, but something triggered and I can’t control myself sometimes.  I don’t get the reunion episode, and it’s something I guess I’ll have to learn to cope with… much like televised therapy sessions (yeah, I know Dr. V is coming at me again).  OK, so let’s get Jersey up in here and see what happened to the “peace” that settled in Franklin Lakes.  But first, what’s up with this Jersey-ridiculous Venetian?!

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5, Ep 18: Salon, Farewell

One Sentence Summary:  While this bitch was hoping for a table flip, season 5 goes out like a lamb because everyone is “in a better place” – pitty.

Melissa’s Thoughts:

I'll see your deer in headlights Teresa and raise you a dumbstruck open mouth.

I’ll see your deer in headlights Teresa and raise you a dumbstruck open mouth.

Yes, still playing catch up, and thanks to a minor neck injury I’m forgoing my standard precious vino for muscle relaxers – you know it’s bad when I pass up on my wine, because we all know everything is better with wine.  So we’re looking at a “do not operate heavy machinery”, “may cause drowsiness” 500 or less for my Jersey ladies season finale.  Hang on friends, it’s going to be a slurred ride.

NJ Ladies in 500 or less

Teresa goes (exaggerated) deer in headlights at Penny’s allegations – shocking.  BTW, ever notice how high Tre’s voice goes when she’s in denial?  Penny’s hubs arrives to the shit show but of course testosterone arrives shortly after and there’s lots of camera shaking and screaming.  I wonder if Joey’s hair is going to black smudge things again?  Even Caroline is getting into the screaming, but who can blame her, that went all sorts of sideways.  Melissa thinks she needs to make Teresa stand by them and not Kim and the others.

Melissa couldn’t sleep after the event, but hasn’t heard anything new from the encounter and hopes Tre is thinking she needs to stop the BS.  Melissa declares she needs to find forgiveness in her heart and move on (can I get a Thank You Jesus… for old times).  At the Lauritas sweet Nick makes an appearance and puts things into perspective.   The Wakiles visit the Gorgas to question Tre’s involvement and suggest to keep moving things forward.

Caroline spends the day after musing about how blessed she is for her family and how much her house means to her family (bye bye apartment methinks).  Albert reminds her they don’t have to leave – wise man.

Teresa hopes Joey doesn’t believe Penny, and Jacqueline rallies for her her but suggests if there is any truth she needs to own it.  Tre does have regrets about things she’s done, and she should have walked away, but she was in a bad place at the time.  Whoa, what was that??

Blk is expanding to new flavors and pitch to the fam asking for honest opinions.  Teresa seizes the opportunity seeing Joey to have a chat about what all went down.  Wow, it must be the relaxers because I can’t believe Tre just owned her part in the rumors and wants Joey to put his family first.  This is the cryingest bunch of bitches!

Everyone is off to the shore to see the Guidice shore house to celebrate the season and talk about how wonderful it is everyone has rebuilt their lives.

Kathy:  Building her dream house all for a new kitchen

Jacqueline:  Ashley came home but is headed to beauty school later and they’ll remain focused on Nicholas’s recovery.

Caroline:  Bids bye-bye to the apartment and is happily back at home.

Melissa:  The Gorgas moved a half hour away so that should help keep the peace.

Teresa:  Juicy is going to fight and do whatever he has to do to make everything right.  Then comes the incitement news.  A ‘not-guilty” plea was entered, but Juicy could race jail and deportation, and Tre is hoping for another book deal (OK, that was my bit).

Bottom Line:

All is magical loving unicorns and rainbows.  Let’s see how that translates to the Reunion.