Author Archives: Two Winey Bitches

The Bachelorette Season 10, Finale: We Can Finally Stop It

One Sentence Summary: Andi gets to choose with which man she’ll have a disappointing relationship.

Our Thoughts:

Hys back for his second helping of bullshit.

Hy’s back for his second helping of bullshit.

Rachel:  I have to admit that since Chris got unceremoniously sent home on the Fantasy Suite date – before he even got to get some fantasy going – I have been holding a silent protest against the rest of the show. I mean he was the only thing left worth tuning in for. I guess, in retrospect, I should be glad she didn’t pick him, seeing as how she’s spared him the future disappointment of her hating Iowa. Let’s be honest, that girl wasn’t ever going to be into baling hay. Common sense tells us that he’ll be the next Bachelor, so at least there’s that. Common sense also tells us that Andi’s going with what she says she’s always dated and picking Josh. Is there any question? I just hope someone brings some drama tonight, because this is going to be a long 3 hours otherwise. Let’s get it started…

The Beginning Of The End

Come on, Mom. Arent I just the cutest guy Andis ever dated?

Come on, Mom. Aren’t I just the cutest guy Andi’s ever dated? Pick me. Pick me!

Rachel: Aw, Lawd… Do we really have to do the live audience viewing party thing again? It’s such a waste of my… wait wait wait… Did Chris just say that the dude Andi rejects tried to confront her about his dismissal while she was on vacation & on the Men Tell All? Well, clearly she rejects Nick then. There’s no doubt which of the two would be prone to lurking and stalking. I mean why don’t you just spare us the two hours and go right to the final rose? Well, I guess abc has to fill the airtime so here we go… Continue reading


Real Housewives of New York, Season 6 Finale – The Last Leg

One Sentence Summary: Season 6 comes to an end with a bang… on the table.

My Thoughts:

Haven't we all had enough?

Haven’t we all had enough?

Rachel: Okay my jaw dropped when LuAnn left with Harry last week. Tell me she doesn’t know Sonja’s been seeing him. I’m so not buying that. And what a dick Harry is. He’s a Harry dick. LOL… Sorry, couldn’t help it. But I’m sure we’ll get to the bottom of this tonight. Can we also please get to the bottom of Ramona now? I’m so done with her. But let’s be honest, we’re all just waiting for the leg toss heard round the reality world. You’d have to be living under a rock – or watching real news about the world – to have missed the story about tonight’s drama. So, let’s get to it…

There’s Got To Be A Morning After

The wrong part of Sonja's body got banged last night.

The wrong part of Sonja’s body got banged last night.

It’s the morning after and Sonja is licking her wounds. Well, she’s making her interns lick them, because she doesn’t do anything. In the midst of having to deal with her friend leaving the party with her man, she’s also having to deal with a sore ankle. Ramona & Kristen show up to the drama and some tears. Sonja tells them the story and it seems she tripped on her fishtail while running after Harry. Lady, we don’t literally chase boys. Continue reading

Real Housewives of New York, S6.Ep18 – Something To Sing About

One Sentence Summary: While some relationships hit the skids, one surprising one seems to be moving forward.

My Thoughts:

I'm supposed to be outspoken. That's my role. Deal with it.

I’m supposed to be outspoken. That’s my role. Deal with it.

Rachel: Well, I feel slightly reinvigorated for these women after investing a good portion of my week into catching up with them. And by reinvigorated, I mean slightly interested in seeing how this season ends. I’m also wondering when the walls are going to start coming down on Ramona’s marriage. I have an unhealthy amount of schadenfreude going on with that. I feel slightly guilty as I don’t think anyone deserves to have their trust betrayed; especially in a marriage. But I also will admit that I find Ramona to be so completely disrespectful to everyone in the world around her that I can barely muster more than a minimal feeling of pity for her. She’s horrid. I can’t help but wonder how she has any friends. But I guess as long as the paychecks are coming and the cameras are rolling, she’ll keep thinking her behavior is acceptable.

Let It Be

But I need validation all the time too!

But I need validation and no one is giving it to me.

Rachel: Kristen & Josh are having dinner with Heather & Jonathan post-Montana. Apparently, the apology we all saw last week is no longer of interest to Kristen, who is mad all over again. This girl needs a hobby… well, one that doesn’t include holding grudges. I wonder if Jonathan knows what she said about him, because if so, he’s the one that should be pissed off. Josh isn’t feeling Kristen’s side of the story. She & I both wonder if he ever does. Seems like he exists on a healthy diet of irritation and condescension. I probably would be very sick of Kristen’s complaining by now too, he’s really doing nothing to make it any better. Continue reading

Real Housewives of New York, Season 6 – Mega Catch-Up Mode

One Sentence Summary: Carole and Aviva finally agree on something: they don’t like each other.

My Thoughts:

Pretty much my feelings too...

Pretty much my feelings too…

Rachel: Well, it’s been a while since I’ve spent any time with the Housewives. It honestly has gotten so torturous to watch their bad behavior that I needed to take a break.  Seriously, how does Bravo still employ Ramona? She might be one of the worst people on the planet. Zero class, zero respect and zero kindness. She talks so much about being a role model for her daughter that it’s actually comical at this point. She couldn’t be less of a role model for Avery. And then there’s Sonja. I actually think she has some kind of mental disorder. I’m not joking. I really think she needs some serious therapy to reacquaint her with reality; a place she hasn’t visited in years. What would be the clinical diagnosis for a woman who is so desperate to maintain a lifestyle that she no longer can afford that she lives in a constant state of denial, while also channeling the spirit of a horny 25-year-old? I mean I’m all for getting your cougar on, but not when it’s predicated on fulfilling a desperate need for attention and proving you’re still attractive to men. Well, maybe I’m less judge-y on that last part… Ahem, anyway, let’s move on to Aviva. I can’t figure out the decision to bring her back for another season. No one likes her, at least not for long stretches at a time, and she’s terribly annoying. She’s one tall drink of crazy. And her hypochondria is not interesting anymore. Well, it wasn’t interesting to begin with, but there was a little fascination with someone that was that high-maintenance. Then there’s Kristen… Kristen, Kristen, Kristen… Brat, brat, brat. Listen, I’d be pissed too if Ramona split my lip with a wine glass – partially for the pain and partially for wasting wine – but holy holy she doesn’t know when to let something go. Drama queen. I just want to tell her to shut the hell up already. I still like Heather and Carole though… so there’s that…. I guess.  So here’s about 7 episodes all in one thought vomit…

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