Ironically, in High School we were nicknamed “the grape wenches”, which thankfully is known only to a select few. Kind of funny, seeing as how we grew up to be winos. But wait! You clicked on the tab for the full story of the Two Winey Bitches. For that, we’ll have to go back… way back…
1983… fade to a school yard and two girls meet for the first time: “I love your Duran Duran shirt”, “Thanks, Roger’s my fave!”, “Mine too!!” – And there you have it, friendship is born. Considering both of us were “in love” with the same man, the fact that we didn’t throw down right there remains one of life’s most intriguing mysteries. You know, like the Pyramids and the Yeti.
Summer of 1987, we stumble upon another sign from the heavens that this friendship was meant to be; “Band of the Hand”. Now, if you haven’t seen this brilliant movie about “five hopeless juvenile criminals sent away from prison into the Everglades for a survival training under the Indian ‘Joe’”, you won’t quite get the inaugural love of “bad”. After watching this glorious train wreck (multiple times), we realized our shared passion for bad movies. Who could imagine the bounty that reality TV would eventually bring us! BFFs to the end!!
Now here’s where it gets hinky… cut to 1988 when we stop talking. To this day, we have no idea why, other than we were 17 and female – insert typical list of options here. Most would probably be right. But even petty girl drama couldn’t sever this bond!
Fast Forward to 2008. Yes, you read that correctly… a 20 year hiatus. We’re stubborn. What do you want? We find each other again through the magic of Facebook and try to remember why we stopped talking; eventually deciding it was because one of us was a bitch. Which one still remains a topic of great debate. You see the trend right… bad movies/television, grapes, bitches… The hiatus is over.
Which brings us to today…
Here we are, sharing our love of wine and bad television with the masses (or at least the dozen friends who feel guilty and read the blog). When the passion for sarcasm comes as naturally as it does to the both of us, it would be a shame not to share it. We consider it our civic duty. We hope you consider it fun.
Rachel & Melissa