Hollywood Exes – Season 3, Episode 4; Happy-ish 40th

One Sentence Summary:  Drea’s 40th birthday starts off with a 70’s theme but quickly turns into a three-ring circus.

Yeah, its gonna be that kind of night.

Yeah, its gonna be that kind of night.

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  Another episode already?  Man, I cannot get out ahead of these reality shows. Stupid job. I think everyone that reads this should tell 5 of their friends to read this blog and they should tell 5 of their friends…. That would lead to at least 100 readers… and that still isn’t close to being enough for me to spend my days doing nothing but watching bad TV and writing scathing indictments. Oh well, looks like running to catch up will have to do for now. Anyway, I’m still not convinced Drea needs to be running down the aisle so quickly, but it’s not my call, obviously. I think I like Brian, though I’m not entirely convinced of that either.  We shall see how he handles her birthday.

Happy-ish 40th 

Rachel:  Drea has run out of venue options in LA and has asked Nicole if she can get married at her house. Nicole said yes, but thinks maybe Drea should wait a minute before running down the aisle. Drea is getting tired of having the same conversation with people. No one has asked Nicole why she’s waiting so long, so why they asking her why she’s not waiting so long. Well, not quite the same thing… But I also get it from Drea’s side. She’s all in and she’s ready to go. Drea says love is a gamble, period, so she and Brian have decided to go for it. Nicole gets it, but Drea might want to know about the Curse of Beverly Park, where the house is located: turns out that everyone that lives there gets divorced. Um, then why’d you buy a house there?

Anyway, let’s move on to girls’ night. Holy abs, Nicole! Damn, I need to forget about aspiring to spend all day writing the blog. I need to get me a Michael Strahan-type dude so I can aspire do sit-ups all day. Yeah, like that would ever happen… Anywho, the girls hit up a little behind-the-door speakeasy replete with burlesque dancers. Drea announces her wedding location and Barry Bonds’ ex brings up the curse. Yeah, Drea might want to use some industrial sage before getting married up there. Maybe even have a shaman perform the ceremony.

Conversation turns from curses to prenups. Drea is not going to have one with

Am I really having this conversation with you all?

Am I really having this conversation with you all?

Brian. Prenup, that is. That ain’t good if you’re getting married under a curse. Drea says she’s got her finances set up in a trust so that can’t be touched. The girls aren’t satisfied with that answer and would like her to reconsider. Have you met Drea? Girl’s mind is made up.

Shanna changes the conversation to, well, her. Seems her good friend, Carmen Electra, is dating her ex, Travis Barker. I’m thinking she might not be your “good” friend then. Shanna got no heads up about it either. Shanna is all for him being happy, but not at her own humiliation. I hear that, sister. Nicole says be the bigger person. Shamicka says be the bigger person on top of her ass. Ha, go Shamicka. I’m with her on this one.

The next day, Jessica, Shamicka & Drea do a little shopping and Jessica is still hung up on the prenup. Drea says that Brian has been through some really deep stuff with her and her ex, so if he can hang through that, he deserves every penny if it doesn’t work out. Yeah, you might not feel that way when you’re in a courtroom, but it’s your money, honey. Having been convinced that this is how she really feels, Jessica moves on to kids and Brian not wanting them. She’s on Brian’s side this time and Drea isn’t feeling that either. Boy, everyone’s got an opinion.

So let’s move on to Jessica and Austin. They’re dating and Jessica is having fun. Shamicka says Austin’s immature, but Jessica doesn’t care for her opinion. She didn’t ask for it, so don’t give it. Wait, didn’t you just vomit opinion all over Drea when she didn’t ask for it? Quid pro quo, honey. But Jessica is just trying to enjoy her time with Austin… without any drama.

Mayte has decided it’s time to sell some of her memorabilia from her marriage to Prince. You know, she has a new man so she doesn’t need the stuff of the old

You really think Prince messes with fake handcuffs? Silly rabbit...

You really think Prince messes with fake handcuffs? Silly rabbit…

man. Until that new man puts a ring on it, don’t count him in quite yet. But I guess it isn’t healthy having all that stuff around anyway… even if it is from Prince. I know someone that would happily store all of it for you… that someone being me. A woman from Beverly Hills Pawn comes over to survey the stuff. Nicole is there too and I am so with her when she says she’d still be nice to Mayte, even if she were mad at her, just to be close to Prince’s stuff.  Oh hell yes. Nicole puts on some handcuffs that Mayte wore on stage with Prince, and is surprised when they don’t come off…. after she was told there is no key. What did you think was going to happen? Eventually, Nicole is freed by a locksmith and we are back in business. The rep decides that she wants to take the china, Mayte’s wedding dress, shoes and cups and offers her enough money to elicit some hooting and hollering. We’re not allowed to know the number, but she sure did let that shit go with the quickness.

Drea is having a 70’s themed birthday party, for which Jessica & Shanna are shopping. Jessica tells Shanna that she was less than thrilled with Drea & Shamicka’s judgements about Austin. I don’t think they were exactly coming down hard on you, and you’re about the most opinionated person on that show so learn to take your own medicine. Seriously, only Mayte has you beat and she’s bananas. Shanna goes off on some tangent about being a good girl and sex… I don’t follow her, which is probably a good thing for me. They move on to Drea not wanting a prenup and Jessica thinks it’s crazy. Shanna does too, but she knows when you’re in love, you don’t listen to the negativity. No, you don’t. Now quit flapping your gums and let’s move along.

It’s partay time and Drea is in full Donna Summer gear. Time to celebrate her 40th in classic Soul Train style. Fun! Everyone’s having a good time until Butt Hurt Tony starts in with Sheree about his feelings. He’s mad because Brian didn’t dress up. Sheree and Shamicka are happy to fuel the fire and tell him he should confront Brian about it. Um, Drea isn’t bummed out so why are you trying to make it an issue? Ain’t none of it your damn business. Get a hobby. I mean a hobby that isn’t named Drea.

But no, Tony has to ask about the costume and then make a comment about Brian potentially showing up at the wedding not dressed. So because he doesn’t like to dress up in a costume, he’s going to come to his wedding without a tux? That’s an interesting A to B. I was not a costume girl for a lot of years and would attend parties in my regular clothes. My choice. You don’t like it, too damn bad. And did Tony just say he is standing up with Drea & Brian at their wedding? The hell you are! Tony calls Drea over and she says they will both walk her down the aisle. That’s bizarre, but Brian takes it all without missing a beat and that, I’m sure, pisses Tony even more.

Drea’s done with the boys’ drama and heads over to the circle of girls. That’s not going to be any better. It’s not, as the interrogation continues about her rushing into marriage. These people are out of control. Let the girl turn 40 in peace! Shanna just pokes the bear further talking about a pre-nup and throws everyone under the bus while she’s at it. But my girl Drea just sets them all straight. It’s no one’s business but hers. She would like to offer them a don’t-show-up-to-the-wedding-nup. My girl. Yes. Send the message. Check your email, bitches!

How many different ways do I have to tell you to please shut the hell up?

How many different ways do I have to tell you to please shut the hell up?

Next on the GFY train is Tony. Drea has had it with him too.  But Tony keeps pushing and pushing and finally Brian breaks. I don’t blame the guy. Everyone has their limit. EVERYONE. We’ve just seen Brian’s. Drea gets him out of the room before it comes to blows and calms him down. That was actually really sweet. I seriously do not blame Brian for losing his shit. It can’t be fun being scrutinized at ever turn. Drea comes back inside, and suddenly, Sheree is all sunshine and light, telling Drea she supports her. Then shut your pie hole and actually support her. Damn, I’m all riled up for my girl.

In an effort to salvage the night, Brian gives her her gift – a fabulous pair of Louboutins – while Tony looks on in pissed-off defeat. You lose, dude. Now please shut up. After her cake is presented, Brian gives her another gift – a Mercedes. Damn, I’d marry him too. Mayte smashes the cake on Drea and the party is back in full swing…

…until the next fight. As the cake battle gets into full swing, Shanna smashes some on Jessica. Jessica isn’t playing and pushes Shanna off of her. Shanna is stunned and sulks away. We will be hearing about this later. But for now, the party is over and Drea had fun… but she is still not happy about her girls throwing shade. We will be hearing about this too.

Drea and Tony go to look at flowers and she tells him that she’s still pissed off at him. Brian doesn’t deal with a man calling a woman a bitch. Period. And Tony telling him that Drea is always gonna be his bitch didn’t sit well. It was disrespectful and he wasn’t having it. Well, Tony thinks Brian was disrespectful to him too. You’re not helping Tony. Apologize. Just shut up, respect your girl and make this not about you for one minute. Please. But he sort of admits that he took Brian to that place of anger, which I think will be the best she’s going to get in the way of apologies. Seems she’s fine with it too. Peace achieved and Tony is back in Boo Boo Kitty Land.

Never put it in writing. Never.

Never put it in writing. Never.

In things not having to do with Drea, Shanna has Sheree and Mayte over for a cooking lesson. They make pasta and talk about Jessica. Shanna tells them about how mad Jessica got when she hit her with cake. Shanna thinks that makes Jessica a fake-ass bitch.  Neither Mayte nor Sheree are rushing to Shanna’s defense… that is until Shanna fully rats out Jessica by sharing her private text messages. Apparently, Jessica said that black girls & white girls don’t mix. Say what? Oh, the girls are not happy to hear that. Not happy at all. Jessica has some ‘splaining to do. Jessica also called Shamicka a hood rat. Oh boy, this is not good for Jessica. Not good at all… hee hee.

Bottom Line:

Rachel:  This shit is getting good. I cannot WAIT until the confrontation with Jessica next week.


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