Private Lives of Nashville Wives, Season 1, Ep. 1- Behind Closed Doors

One Sentence Summary – Erika spends the hour making friends.

My Thoughts:

But I just want to look pretty... like me, but pretty.

But I just want to look pretty… like me, but pretty.

Rachel:  You all know by now, I have to watch a solid two episodes of a show before I decide to waste my precious time watching and commenting on it. I have to say, I am all in on Private Lives of Nashville Wives – though I think just “Nashville Wives” would have sufficed. If I’m not going to get my Big Rich Texas ladies back, then this will suffice. I actually might like them better… well, since they got rid of Pam & Heidi on BRT. I’ll be honest, I was pretty wary going in on this one and didn’t think I’d take to them, but I’m cautiously optimistic. They’re not going to be invited over any time soon for some cheese and meats, but there’s always potential. There’s also the potential that I’m going to want to put them all on the first boat off the island, but today… thumbs up. So, let’s get caught up on Episode 3 of these southern babes.

Mean Girls

Oh, this take down is going to be easy... and fun.

Oh, this take down is going to be easy… and fun.

We start with Jenny, Erika and Ana having lunch after the less-than-successful girls’ night that Erika put together. Jenny & Ana have called this meeting because they think it’s important for Erika to know they didn’t have a good time and see if she can redeem herself. You know, if you can’t do shots, you can’t be their friend. I’m not sure how this is remotely appropriate, but I guess they’re taking a page out of the Housewive’s rulebook. I really hope Living Social knows what it’s doing by letting their Head of Sales be on a reality show where she is constantly overbearing and tactless.

Before Erika can even order a nice bottle of sparkling water, Jenny is up in her grill about how she has no right to complain about her life because it’s so perfect. Wait, you live with them? I mean how else would you know the intimate details of her life to be able to say something so … what’s the word… judgmental. And yes, I know. Pot-kettle. But that’s my job… ish. Erika defends her position and says she started working at 16 so it’s an adjustment for her to be a stay-at-home mom. Jenny thinks it’s #RichPeopleProblems. I think it’s #NoneOfYourBusiness. I also think it’s quite the accusation coming from someone whose career is paramount in their life. Glass houses and all.

Ana finally shows up and I imagine this is not going to get any more comfortable. Ana is there to make sure Erika isn’t the snobby person that she met at the saloon. Listen, the girl wasn’t exactly a barrel of monkeys level of fun, but if she doesn’t do shots, leave her alone. Erika, who clearly knows she’s on trial here, starts to make excuses for herself by saying that she talks a lot because she is home all day with kids and gets excited about being around adults. Don’t justify yourself to them. Jenny asks Erika about her acting, and when she answers, Ana decides she’s self-centered. She also doesn’t feel like she got to speak at all, so Jenny says the next time they go out, Ana gets to talk. Wow, that’s just mean. Lunch is over and Ana & Jenny have decided they have nothing in common with Erika. I think that’s better news for Erika than the two mean girls.

We catch up with Sarah who is playing more music and doing more practicing. We also are told again that her husband has written over 16 #1 songs. So, basically, her storyline is one long audition tape for a record deal. Is that what I’m gathering? She seems cool, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t have much to base that on because she’s pretty much always singing.

After the musical interlude, Cassie stops by Erika’s so Erika can unload about her miserable lunch…. and drink some wine. Maybe she just doesn’t want to drink with Jenny? Erika knows she talks too much, but she’s not embarrassed by it. It’s just who she is. She also knows that Jenny doesn’t understand her thoughts on life and career. Cassie thinks Jenny doesn’t know when to not be in work mode and turn the aggressive off. Yeah, I’d agree with that. Erika didn’t like being called a teetotaler. OK, fair, but how is it that these two have never heard that word before?

Back to Sarah who is at home meeting with her interior decorator. Oh! We

Why don't you sell some music and then we'll talk about remodeling the beach house?

Why don’t you sell some music and then we’ll talk about remodeling the beach house?

might get some non-singing Sarah! She calls Dallas in to discuss decorating the beach house. She just wants to do a few things and some painting. He’s not so much interested in this conversation, as rarely a man is. Just don’t spend all his money and he’ll be cool.

Erika has made a special dinner for her husband to show him how much she loves him. She tells him about the girls’ night out and the lunch, which has made her realize that she needs to have more fun. He wants her to do what she loves – acting – because not doing it has left a void in her life. Wow, that is one supportive husband. Let’s compare this conversation to the one Heather Dubrow had with her husband on RHOC when she wanted to go back to acting. He was more worried about how it would affect him. Erika’s husband is more concnered about his wife flourishing. Brian wins! Terry, you may want to take some notes.

Jenny is home working while JT, her husband, feeds the kid. She knows her kid being raised by her hubby and nanny is a huge trade-off for her to have this career, which she loves. And yet she spent some of her precious free time making another woman feel badly about her life choices and wanting to go back to work? How does that make sense? Oh, but I see she has time for cocktails with her husband every night while the nanny bathes the kid. I mean it’s a lovely concept and I don’t disagree with needing downtime with your spouse, but wasn’t she the one just saying she doesn’t get enough time with her kid? And yet, her husband wants another baby. She thinks it’s selfish to have the burden fall on her husband to be the primary caregiver to another kid. He isn’t listening and wants her to think about adoption. So, another kid that she doesn’t have to carry or care for? How about getting a dog instead?

Erika goes to get a new headshot done. She knows this is important to get her in

When I smile like this, you totally forget how much of a pain in the ass I am, right?

When I smile like this, you totally forget how much of a pain in the ass I am, right?

the door for an audition. So she is controlling about the clothes, the make-up, the hair, the lighting… you name it. Oh and she doesn’t want to look too “soap-opera-y”. But isn’t that what you are trying to do? They start taking photos, but she’s still not happy. She needs less glam. Oh she’s about to get bitch-slapped by the hair and make-up guy. They make her less glam. Still not happy. She doesn’t like the look. She thinks it doesn’t look like her, and yet it looks exactly like her. She’s making me insane, and I’m not even in the room. I can only imagine how the photographer feels right now. She FINALLY loosens up and starts having fun. And what do you know, the photos are better. Well, because you don’t look like you sucked on a lemon right as the photographer was snapping you.

Jenny and Cassie hit the gym, which is not Jenny’s favorite thing to do. Well, we can agree there. Exercise: the necessary evil. And boy is it evil. I don’t trust anyone that likes to exercise. After a session of burpees (the most evil of them all) and weights, Cassie asks Jenny about another baby. At least she admits she talked to Jenny’s husband instead of playing dumb. Jenny says that she has her dream job and bringing another child into the mix isn’t something she can imagine right now. Jenny is adopted and she doesn’t have an understanding of what it’s like to be connected to someone’s DNA, but she’s leaning toward adopting if they do have another kid. Cassie thinks this is probably not the time for another kid for Jenny. I think Cassie’s probably right.

Oh yeah, Betty. I almost forgot about her. She’s off to see Sarah who is packing for her next show. By the way, now that I said all Sarah does is sing, she’s not singing. Figures. Sarah is hosting a summer party. She likes peach. She writes music with Dallas. This scene is all over the place and is hurting my head. Focus, people! One subject at a time! Betty feels like she wants to take care of Sarah, because she is alone a lot. She understands what it’s like when there are two creative people living independent lives. She thinks Dallas doesn’t water his flower garden – aka Sarah. Sarah wants to be a mom & a wife, but she also has these desires that God put in her to be a singer. So, if you say God gave you the desire, does that make it OK to want to be a singer? Can’t it just be OK because it’s what you want?

Oh boy, Erika got the pictures back from the photographer and hates them all. They don’t look like her. Honey, they look like you. Who do you think they look like? Her husband isn’t trying to make a saga out of this and tells her to just do another photo shoot. No, she’s gonna cry first. Hmmm, methinks someone just hasn’t come to terms with the fact that they’re aging. I mean I feel her on that subject, but these pics look like her. Maybe hit up some Photoshop and make the pics look more like what you think you look like. Trust me, my thighs in some of my pictures are the thighs I imagine in my head, and not what I’m actually squeezing into my jeans on the daily.

It’s the day of Sarah’s summer party and it’s quite the spread. Wow, I should have been a songwriter… minus that whole not being musical part. Jenny gets seated next to Erika. How fun for both of them. Why does Sarah have pictures of herself on popsicle sticks at the table? Especially when she says they are not meant to be fans in the sweltering heat? So what are they for? Is there an impromptu puppet show later? Jenny wonders if it’s to promote Sarah’s singing. Well, I did say this is one big audition tape for her, but this is weird. Jenny asks Erika if her husband lets her promote for him. She says no, because he thinks she doesn’t make sense

Yeah, someone is gonna get slapped here soon.

Yeah, someone is gonna get slapped here soon.

most of the time. Jenny, who has zero tact, says she’s noticed that. I love that Erika is openly jaw dropped at the insult.

Conversation turns to Dallas who is in Florida fishing. Jenny knew Dallas before Sarah and says he’s a good ol’ boy who likes to drink and get wild with his boys, which makes Sarah a strange match for him. Wow, this chick is all kinds of positivity. So, who would be a good match for him then? One of his drinking buddies? Betty says in her one-on-one that she thinks Sarah is in a bad relationship. Really? I’m not seeing it, but we are only 3 weeks in. Ana’s turn to speak – I guess she’s allowed at this meal – and we are learning that she doesn’t believe in monogamy. It’s the Latin culture. Men have mistresses. Needless to say, there are a lot of women at that table with wedding rings on their fingers that would beg to differ on that. Betty says her husband’s job is to flirt. Yeah, still not swaying the marrieds. Cassie & Erika are staying mum, however. Jenny wonders what Sarah thinks it will be like when she’s famous and men are chasing her. She’s not worried. Dallas understands the biz…. And the stage has been set for the next storyline.

Bottom Line:

Rachel: OK, so it’s all starting to take shape. I’m still not sure what Team I’m on right now, but Cassie and Betty are the frontrunners at this point.


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