Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Season 4, Week 18; The Kids Are Alright

One Sentence Summary: The all-out assault on Lisa continues, but she has decided not to participate. 

Our Thoughts:

Tell me this chick isn't pleased with herself.

Tell me this chick isn’t pleased with herself.

Rachel:  So, I officially can hardly stand watching this show anymore. So happy we’re reaching the end. Honestly, I’d rather watch Juan Pablo and his smug lechery on The Bachelor than these idiots pretend to be decent human beings. We all know I have been and continue to be Team Vanderpump all the way. And after last week, I am leading the parade; especially if that parade includes torches and an angry mob that marches all the way to Brandi Glanville’s front door. I honestly don’t think I’ve truly disliked someone (that I didn’t date) this much. Ever. I think she is really the master manipulator and user here. Lisa served her purpose. Brandi has found her new bestie and she would rather flirt with Yolanda’s husband, David, than Ken now, so it’s time to move on and rid herself of her trash like she did with Adrienne. I’m just floored that everyone still takes Brandi at her word. It’s hard to believe a single thing that comes out of her mouth. I mean if Cedric is going to publicly defend Lisa and call out Brandi, you know she’s full of it. But Kyle is so desperate to be the Queen of the Housewives that she’ll follow the lead of anyone that she thinks can help her find the tiara. And then there’s Yolanda. This makes me the saddest of all. I really dug her last season and for the beginning of this season as well. But her self-righteous arrogance the last few weeks has been unbearable. How dare she confront Lisa about Brandi’s issues with her and then be mad when Lisa chooses not to speak to her about them. It’s none of your business, Yo. Oh, I’m so angry. These women are like spoiled children with nothing better to do than pick fights… mostly because they actually don’t have anything better to do. Bored rich women… and I’m officially bored. BRING ON NEW YORK!

Post Mortem

Mauricio is not amused... he is always not rocking those sun glasses.

Mauricio is not amused… he is always not rocking those sun glasses.

Rachel: It’s the morning after the Vanderpump sabotage and the girls are meeting for breakfast, minus Lisa, natch. Kyle thinks she’s owed an apology. For what? Kim thinks she owes Ken an apology, but doesn’t want to give it. That’s because Kim has yet to apologize for anything. Ever. Joyce thinks Lisa & Ken should have stayed at dinner to take more abuse. She thinks leaving makes her look guilty. No, it makes her look like an adult. You guys think screaming and carrying on in public, while you gang up on someone, is grown up behavior. I have news for you, it is not. It’s actually the opposite. What should have happened is Brandi should have sat down with Lisa and had a conversation.  You know, like Lisa did with you, Joyce. And Kyle, Lisa said she didn’t tell Brandi to bring the mags. So confronting her in front of Brandi was for what purpose? To make yourself look like a victim, because you find some kind of power in that. You either accept her truth or you don’t.

Mauricio, on the other hand, feels badly about what went down, but also feels betrayed by Ken & Lisa. I just don’t understand on what planet you don’t believe that your friends are telling the truth, in favor of someone that is a know shit-stirrer and liar. Honestly, if one of my closest friends didn’t take me at my word, they would no longer be one of my closest friends. Friendship isn’t something you float in and out of. Michael says Mauricio needs to get an answer. I also think he needs to get new sunglasses, because those are not a good luck.

Yolanda tells the girls that the hotel concierge told her that Lisa & Ken left the hotel at 4:30am. The women are shocked that they left. Really? Why would they have stayed? Because it was so much fun for them? I don’t get that thought process.  Then again, I don’t get the thought process of most of these women. If the party is bad, you leave. Period. Yolanda thinks it’s because they don’t want to have the conversations people want to have with them. No, it’s because you should have been a grown up and had the conversation in Beverly Hills, not Puerto Rico. Oh, and they should have been one-on-one and not a beach gang bang… which usually are much more fun.

And just for the record, I really can’t stand Kim. Just sharing.


Even the iguana wrangler knows what's up with the crazy holding his pet.

Even the iguana wrangler knows what’s up with the crazy holding his pet.

The girls go shopping after they make a pact to not talk about Lisa or Ken the rest of the day. Who wants to bet they don’t even make it through the rest of the scene? But first we have to deal with Kim having a love affair with an iguana. She is seriously a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

They shop and tour the city and then Kim & Brandi decide to jump into a fountain. It’s all fun and games until the police head over. Oh you guys are such rebels. {{{ eye roll }}} Brandi just needs to get a t-shirt that says “Look at me! I’m desperate for attention!” And Kim’s can say, “I do whatever she says because I’m desperate for acceptance.”

They stop for dinner with the men and talk turns to the kids that are heading to college. Kim & Yolanda both tear up when they talk about their kids leaving. Yolanda is just proud that her daughter is the first in her family to graduate high school. Snooze… How many times do we have to hear the same story? Can we be done with Puerto Rico now?

See, I’m Nice!

They look like such nice people... How did they make Brandi?

They look like such nice people… How did they make Brandi?

Back to LA and Brandi brings her parents to Yolanda’s house. You know, since Yolanda is her new surrogate mommy, one who comes to her defense when she screws up and has a husband for Brandi to flirt with. Gee, where have we heard this story before? Oh right, first it was Adrienne and then it was Lisa. I hope Yolanda’s ready when Brandi is done with her. Wonder who the next victim will be, Joyce or Carlton?

While Brandi’s parents talk with Yolanda & David, she runs outside to get a surprise for her parents ready. She has bought her mom a new car for her birthday. That is very nice. I will give her that… as hard as it is to do. She says she’s presenting the car at Yolanda’s because her dad can’t refuse it in front of her. Bullshit. You want the brownie points and the attention.

Brit Unite

Is Carlton sad she missed Puerto Rico? What do you think?

Is Carlton sad she missed Puerto Rico? What do you think?

We catch up with Lisa at home having a visit with Carlton. Carlton tells her that Lisa must go to the Chamber party in Beverly Hills because she has a business there. No, she has to go because it’s in her contract. She doesn’t want to go and I can’t blame her. Lisa tells Carlton about the drama in Puerto Rico with the magazine accusation. Carlton was at Brandi’s and says she would have seen that if it had happened. It did not. WHAT A SHOCK! Brandi lied???? It’s so unbelievable. {{{ another eye roll }}} Carlton is disgusted by what she’s hearing and says that her children behave better than these women. I don’t doubt it. Lisa isn’t interested in being attacked by a group of women. Carlton can’t stand this about insecure women. They think they’re girls’ girls, but they’re not. No, they aren’t. Carlton is headed back up my esteem pole. It’s very different than the stripper pole, however. Lisa breaks down into tears because she’s been such a good friend to Brandi. She’s just vicious. Yes, she is. Brandi’s brutal honesty is just brutal. Yes, it is. Carlton says they’re like sharks that taste blood. Lisa knows they’re all uniting in their common enemy and celebrating. Yep. They are.

Bye Bye Babies

Kim Jr. is sick and tired of hearing about how hot her dad is. Well, you're about to hear it one more time.

Kim Jr. is sick and tired of hearing about how hot her dad is. Well, you’re about to hear it one more time.

Holy shnikies! Kim’s ex is hot! He’s helping Kim and Kimberly (that is always going to make me laugh) pack Jr. up for college. I really wish he would stop waving his hand around so I can see if there’s a wedding band on it. Gotta know what I’m working with here. Dammit, no luck. Guess I’m gonna have to look something up. Sigh…

Meanwhile, Yolanda is in New York with Gigi getting her settled. Um, this is Gigi’s “starter” apartment? Yolanda figured this was better than a dorm so she can stay focused on her career while she also goes to school. You know, because that’s important to Yolanda. God forbid her daughter get to have fun and enjoy the life of a college freshman. Let the kid be a kid for five minutes. I hope Gigi eats an entire pizza immediately after Yolanda leaves.

More fun with daughters as Kyle takes her daughters to get their ears pierced. Oh look, Taylor is joining in the fun! I would say I’ve missed her, but I’ve seen more than enough of her on Couples Therapy this season. Portia, Kyle’s youngest, makes it through the first ear, no problem. The second ear? No so much. Her other daughter, Alexia, the one that wouldn’t walk down the runway alone, has a complete meltdown about getting her ears pierced. I get the toddler having a fit, but the teenager? Come on.

Back to Yolanda. She’s hanging pictures and talking to Brandi. Yolanda asks if she’s spoken to Lisa? She says not at all. Yolanda finds this strange that someone would run away like that. It’s not strange. It’s survival. She wonders what friend would do that? What friend confronts another friend about something that is none of her business?  Huh, Yolanda? Brandi says it’s because Lisa can’t handle confrontation. Brandi needs a break. Yolanda says no breaks until they deal with this. Can I have a break?

The Kims and dad get to school and see her dorm. It’s small. Yes, it’s a dorm. But we’ll deal with that later, because it’s time for teary goodbyes. Yolanda is first. Then it’s time for Kim. While Gigi seems ready to have her own life, Kim Jr. seems a little less anxious to be out of mommy’s fold. Lots of tears and hugs.

If I Have To

Ken and Lisa get ready to go to the Chamber party that neither of them want to attend. Lisa could care less if she ever sees any of these women again. I don’t blame her. Personally, I feel the same way. But they’re going… And we’re waiting until next week for the season finale to see how well that goes.

Bottom Line: 

Rachel: Shoot me. 


11 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Season 4, Week 18; The Kids Are Alright

  1. Okay okay, you still like Lisa. I don’t. I feel she has needed therapy long before Pandora went off to college. I think this is karma kicking her in the ass. She needs to butt out of people’s affairs and keep to her own life of pimping out her Sur idiots and whores for fame and profit. That’s obviously all they are; it doesn’t compute that Lisa would meddle and micro-manage in her grown adult “friends’ ” lives trying to “better” them, yet pay and keep in her employ such pathetic hot messes as her Sur crew- only reason I can think of is because they offer nothing else but raw misguided sexual energy that she thinks she needs to sell food and HERSELF! I agree that Brandi shoots herself in the foot each time her mouth opens. I also think she is in desperate need of attention. How Machiavellian she is, I’m not sure. Is she that smart? And as for Vyle and her kids? Pathetic. What a bunch of pussies. I mean really. I’d love to see Alexis or Vyle get a spinal tap, a tooth pulled, or have incurable neuropathic pain. I think they’d die. She only had her ear pierced, and it wasn’t a necessary medical surgery or real world trauma that you or I or anyone outside of their BH bubble has experienced. Heck, I’d love to see them at a petting zoo and scream their heads off and pee their pants if a goat walked up to them for petting or feeding. Vyle really seems to have no clue, no inkling of reality, and apparently no coping skills whatsoever. One reason why she was so uncomfortable inside Carlton’s house. Vyle can’t adjust any synapses in her undeveloped brain to accept and deal with lifestyles or ways other than her own. Her reaction is to attack and make snide and immature comments. Calling Carlton anti-Semitic was repulsive and ignorant. I’m Christian and I know what a Star of David looks like. I wouldn’t and couldn’t go through life as stupid, shallow, and bigoted as these women. Vyle’s computer screen hit the nail on the head. “Bigot. Traitor, Larva!”

    • I agree about the meddling. I have even commented on that in my posts, but I don’t think it warrants the backlash she’s been receiving. I think Brandi is pure evil. And stupid. A lethal combination. Plus, anyone that signs up for these shows is looking to profit off of their life’s drama. No one is free from that label, so it’s hard to blame Lisa for figuring out how to exploit it better than her costars.

  2. You know David Foster saw that Honda in his driveway and called the police immediately to have that trash removed from his driveway. I also wish that iguana would have ripped out Kim’s voicebox.

    • Ha ha! That’s hilarious. I actually did have to look twice to make sure that was a Honda logo. I didn’t think they were allowed to show such a low-end car in Beverly Hills… or Malibu as it were.

  3. I’m with you all the way. Lisa has always been my fave of all these “housewives” .Her goofy staff at SUR annoys me, but really, they’re no better than they have to be to remain in her employ .It would seem that she overlooks fairly much anything where they are concerned if her businesses continue to thrive. Now friends are a different matter entirely.
    Yolanda I liked until just about now. Why would she be on this show? When I can’t readily find a motive for why people do what they do, I usually suspect money, power, or sex.
    Brandi just won’t go away. Ditto Kim. Same for Kyle.

    • Yeah, Yolanda is my biggest disappointment. I just don’t get it, but I don’t get most of what goes on with these ladies. As for SUR, they make good trash TV so that’s why they stay in Bravo’s employ. 😉

  4. I TRIED to like Brandi as I recalled the Sisters Richard being so odious to her at game night but I am so done with her and her devious ways. Brandi’s behavior is that of a recalcitrant child with her overt jealousness e.g. “I’m the chosen one, Lisa likes me the best.” UGH
    Now she can suck the life’s blood out of Yolanda who supposedly turned against Lisa over the tile painting party. Puuhleeze.

  5. Vanderpump Rules is filled with the worst types of people. Jax is a sociopath…check this out:

  6. I still don’t hate Brandi or Kyle as much as I hate Carlton. I don’t particularly like Brandi, Kyle or Lisa this season, honestly, but Carlton takes the cake on ugly in my opinion. No, I don’t care that she says fuck a lot. I do, too. And I don’t care that she wants to shove her openness with all things sexual down our throats. Those things don’t bother me in the least. But in the end, I think she’s been bitchier and cattier than even Brandi. The woman makes my skin crawl and I feel like her only redeeming quality is that she seems to have genuinely sweet children. Everything else about her feels ridiculous and fake and contrived for air time.

    Kyle has always seemed pretty fake to me, so maybe I got the vaccine. I always want her to go away and shut up, but not as seriously as Carlton.

    Yolanda did appear to be trying to be a bigger part of the drama this season.

    Kim is so fucking weird that I actually liked her better when I could attribute her insanity to the drinks.

    I can’t say I’m ready for the NY ladies, as I think they are the only ones I haven’t been able to stomach for a few seasons now. I’d even rather watch the bullshit that is Miami than NY these days.

    • Miami over NY? Wow, you really don’t like those ladies. Ha ha. I’m team Nashville Wives right now. The Housewives franchise has me exhausted across the board… or bored as it were.

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