One Sentence Summary: The ladies return to Atlanta, but how long can their Savannah truces last?
Yes my dears I’m still playing catch up, but right at this very moment there’s a little boy at hockey practice with his father and I get some quiet time. I’ll no doubt get the dirtiest of looks for not working on getting our kitchen back in order (post-remodel) to watch television for a few hours. Whatever, the ladies return from Sahannah and I want to see if all the happiness and light from last week manages to make it past 4 days in the ATL. Call me crazy, but I’m thinking no. I know, hush my mouth these ladies have bonded for life. Could you even read that with a straight face?
OK, I’m not even a minute in and I have to discuss those shoes of Kenya’s. They’re hot, I’ll give her that, but all I would be able to think of are random cats attacking my ankles to get those tassels. You know, because there are random stray cats in Atlanta waiting to pounce on unsuspecting tassel shoes. Miss Lawrence has joined up with Kenya for what I’m sure is the first of many debriefs. Kenya is trying to work her inner Boyoncé with some inspired hair. Yeah, if Beyoncé had a bad colorist who let her walk around with that patchwork quilt thing happening. Wait, Sa-vaaaa-nah? Really? You spent how long there listening to everyone and their mother pronounce the name and that’s what you’re trying? You don’t have to be from the south to pronounce a city’s name correctly. Anyway, Kenya dishes on Mynique’s presence and coyly asks Miss L if he’s f*cked Chuck… mostly because I think she wishes she had. Kenya also tells Miss L she tried to talk to Phaedra but she wasn’t having any of it. Well, she did say she was over it, so I’m thinking that’s a move on signal but no of course you won’t let it go.
Here’s Chuck meeting with NeNe and Phaedra to have a little check in with what happened in Savannah. OK, so I’m just going to put this out there… that Chuck is a good-looking man. Not gonna lie my friends, I don’t blame the ladies for hitting that. Not one bit, no ma’am. So it’s all laughter as the class of ’85, ’88 and ‘89 gets together until Chuck wants to talk… about the Boys and Girls Club that is (damn). He wants the ladies to speak to the club. Shots are raised in a toast to the ladies for their willingness to come speak to the kids. Hey now, I like the way Chuck rolls to.
Oh no, Malorie is back in town and Cynthia is taking her to a bead store since that’s what her business is. Now we get the flashbacks of Mal’s overreacting at the anniversary party – I forgot ablout that bundle of crazy. What’s that now, she’s going to stay in town until October when her hubs needs to go back to work? Wait, she just invited herself to stay at your sister’s for 2 months? Oh Lord, this is going to make for a mess! How do you think Peter is going to take it Mal? He’s going to flip his shit and you know it. Mal is hoping to fix the relationship with Cynthia but Cynthia still is holding back and not wanting to put everything out there to her sister. She does share the sex issues with Peter who still wants to get his lovin’ even when she’s tired. Mal tells her you still need to do it when you’re tired. Um, no, you don’t. Your man should understand. Either he does or you just need to do is taking him shopping with you. There’s the snap to reality that I find works miracles. It goes a little something like this: “Yeah, I’ll hook you up, but you’re coming with me on Saturday to get groceries and look for a pair of sandals for our trip (I realize it’s January and we live in the Northeast so we’ll have to try a few places) oh, and a cute pair of shoes for that dinner we have. And while I’m thinking about it, maybe I should look for something super cute to wear that night too. I also need to swing into Sephora for mascara and look for a new eye shadow palette. Oh, and I need to look for a new beach bag and straw hat too. You know what, while we’re running around, let’s head over to Restoration Hardware because I think that’s where I saw those drapes I wanted for the family room. Plus, they have this fantastic sofa that I like but I want to look at fabric samples…” There are several versions of this, but the gist of it is the same. Yes, I’m tired… but I will MAKE you exhausted doing every single thing you hate. Yeah… you roll like that once and your man will never question you being tired again. He may start offering you coffee in the afternoon though. Which… if you’re awake it’s a different story now isn’t it? I digress, Mal doesn’t have a problem putting out when she’s tired, but it’s the 2 or 3 times every day she struggles with. See, now you’re just trying to show off. I’m not buying it, who has that kind of time?
Mal thinks it the “tired” might because of other issues. Cynthia shares her fear of not wanting to do things she doesn’t want to do and Mal suggests it’s keeping her from her wifely duties. Did you really just say that woman? Are you for real? What exactly pray tell are “wifely duties” in your mind?
Emptying the Nest
Porsha and her mom are off to buy goodies for her babies (yes, her puppies). Sweet Mary Porsha needs to tone down the Mommy attitude. Dressing the dogs like they’re going to church (and then not taking them to church)? What in the hell are you talking about crazy?! Porsha thinks it’s time for her to move out even though her mother loves doting after her. Wow, Porsha may have grown up a bit in Savannah. Um Porsha those are dogs… they actually have 2 more legs than you do. They do not need to be pushed in a stroller.
Please don’t tell me I’m going to have to deal with Momma Joyce this episode! I can’t believe how Momma Joyce looks at Kandi. Do you all notice that? It is almost completely filled with contempt. That woman needs a swift kick in the ass if you ask me. Oh Momma Joyce, you need to step off with this guilt trip you keep trying to lay. If you don’t want someone or something to come between you, stop bringing it there!
Oh, it’s the day trip to the Boys and Girls Club. I love that NeNe worked at Sizzler! Oh yeah, a stop off at DQ! Man, I want a blizzard now. Chuck tells the ladies he wasn’t doing anything in the parking lot like the other kids were (suspect sideways glance) because he was a jock.
Home Sweet Home
So this is Porsha’s new crib? Man! The family visits to ooh and aah over the house even though she’s farther away from them (and closer to Kordell). Yeah, this house is crazy, but at least her brother raises the legit question of how is she planning to pay for this house. Oh, it’s a “believe in Porsha move”… not that she has the actual money to pay for it. Yes, she’s a big girl now because she has a huge house… with no doubt a huge mortgage. Maybe I need to become a Housewife if I can make bank to afford a house like that!
As part of their newfound friendship and bonding, Cynthia and Malorie visit Cynthia’s workspace. I’m as surprised as you Mal with that new car, but I don’t judge… that’s your job. Peter arrives and we’re hardly blown over by the greeting between Mal and Peter. HA, that look on Peter’s face finding out Mal just invited herself to stay with them for a few months is priceless. That’s smart Peter… just walk away before you do/say something incredibly stupid. Hey Mal, maybe if you share your theories of wifely duties he’ll suggest you move in and teach Cynthia of your ways. Just saying.
Big Girl Panties… And Payments
The movers have arrived with Porsha’s sofa and clothes. I guess she’s going to go for the minimalist look? Porsha tells her family she’s spoken to Kordell who said he did not want the divorce. But after hearing her family break down Kordell’s issues she starts to second-guess her reaching out to Kordell but the hearing is just around the corner and all should be done and she can go on being her own woman.
The crew finally arrives at the Boys and Girls Club and start to work their way in with the kids and I’ll say this is a great facility! The ladies tell the kids all they need to do is work for their dreams and they can make them happen. I like Chuck’s speech most of all reminding the boys to show respect to their moms and sisters. That’s some classiness there Mr. Smith.
Oh, here we go… Chuck wants to talk to Phaedra about why she told Mynique that she dated Chuck. Yeah, stuck in a car together isn’t the best time to start down that conversation path. Chuck is trying to sell his “side” of the story that back in the day Phaedra was trying to get with the guy in his prime and they were the original friends with benefits. Damn, you want that captured on camera Chuck? He tries to tell Phaedra she was part of the “team” of his other ladies. Oh boy Chuck, this isn’t the direction I think you want to go in. I really don’t think that will make Mynique any happier with you. Hang on, Phaedra and Kandi were part of the team because that was the lifestyle of a young millionaire? Chuck confesses he lied to Kandi to make her feel special, but he was like that (a big homie) for a lot of people. Oh Chuck… Chuck… Chuck… Chuck. That is a grave you’re dinging for yourself my friend, and I hope Mynique lays into you when she sees this. I would.
So Cynthia and Peter have a shocking private moment from Mal to discuss… Mal. Peter hates it when Mal sees them arguing which I kind of understand. Cynthia reminds him they are married and there are sacrifices that couples need to make. I’m right there with you Cynthia, if your man is going to support you completely you can make him 3 meals a day greet him with a martini and a smile. HOWEVER, when the lady is earning her share, she should expect a little support. Cynthia asks what the answer is for them to both get what they want.
Peter thinks he needs an escape route… a little place for him to go to get away when he needs to. Again, with you there Cynthia… your little place to escape is anywhere she isn’t. It’s as simple as that… one is in the family room… you have how many other rooms or floors to choose from. PRETEND it’s your bungalow. Cynthia reminds him that she moves to Atlanta because she was in love with him, but everything he told her didn’t work out the way he claimed. He finally snaps that they are going back to 2 years ago. Man, that conversation went all sideways. Peter, a “man cave” is a spare bedroom or the basement game room… it’s not a flat on the other side of town. Sheesh, you live in some crazy world.
I don’t know about all of you, but I totally didn’t see that whole Cynthia / Peter conversation coming.