Real Housewives of Atlanta: Season 6, Episode 9: Midnight in the Garden of Tea and Shade

One Sentence Summary:  The Savannah trip becomes a drag… Queen that is. 

Melissa’s Thoughts: 

Why does my head hurt so badly?  Oh, it's revolting from this headband

No clue why my head hurts so badly… maybe it’s this ridiculous headband causing me pain.

Yep, still playing catch up with the day job, traveling hubs and house construction… not that any are valid arguments against sitting down with a glass of wine and my ATL ladies.  Anyway, we’re back in Savannah with the ATL ladies and hopefully they are able to move past their drama and have a great trip.  Yeah, I couldn’t type that with a straight face any more than you could read it with one.  Yeah, the ladies are still about torturing another Georgia city in the name of ratings.  Raise a glass my friends!

Meanwhile Back In Savannah…

Cynthia doesn't want to think of Noelle twerking anyone in the mall.

Cynthia doesn’t want to think of Noelle twerking anyone in the mall.

Day dawns on the ladies and I can’t help but wonder if any of them will still be friends once they get back to Atlanta.  Yes, staying in and cooking together is what’s going to help the volatile situation at hand.  Anyway, as all ladies trips do, talk turns to sex and Kandi’s getting her groove on via phone / skype with Todd but Porsha isn’t having any of it because who wants to be face to face with a vagina?  Um, every heterosexual man past the age of puberty on the face of this earth my dear.  While Kandi insists no one will recognize someone’s specific “downtown” Porsha tells everyone hers is easily recognized by the tattoo and the once piercing.  See, I wouldn’t have pegged her for vaginal bling.  Unfortunately she also lets the cat out of the bag regarding her miscarriage to Mynique who quietly tells her she’s sorry and the other ladies try to change the conversation to anything else… Gay rights for example and how people still aren’t supportive of it.

Cynthia tells the ladies Noelle was always exposed to everything on her journey with Cynthia and how she’s trying to be super progressive with Noelle’s dating.  You know because it’s the sheltered girls who get knocked up.  Well, I’ll beg to differ there a bit.  NeNe shares she isn’t in agreement with Cynthia’s approach because she was raised in the strict south.  I agreed with NeNe before and I agree again today, Noelle doesn’t need to be dating at 13 – yeah my conservative is showing, I know.  Unfortunately Cynthia doesn’t care for the talk turning to how loose girls are nowadays and even gets to some table slamming that she’s talking about her daughter and not some girl twerking at the mall.  Yes Jesus, bring Cynthia back.  This is getting a little uncomfortable, but geez Cynthia you raise your daughter right and she’ll be right.  No need to go into hysterics.  That being said, Glamma NeNe needs to back off a bit as well.  Though maybe she’s hoping Cynthia will learn from her example.

Porsha turns into the voice of reason for Cynthia and that she’s raising her daughter right and Kenya reminds Cynthia how she grew up without a mother to learn from and view as a role model.

NeNe back downstairs worries that maybe she seems to be judgy with Cynthia and she‘s not trying to be.  NeNe will always be the friend who gives you her opinion of whether you are right or wrong.  Yes, and if you don’t agree with her you’ll get what’s coming to you as well.

Meanwhile Cynthia is turning to Porsha and Kenya for their support as a mother.  Of course they are right there for her and finally talk turns to laughter and all the ladies hug it out.  I’m shocked Kenya didn’t go up in flames physically touching her nemesis Porsha.

Cynthia calls home to check in with her daughter as Porsha and Kenya break off and have a conversation where one isn’t insulting or rolling their eyes at each other.  Look at them bonding over wanting children and watching others who love their children.  Who knew Porsha would be the first one for Kenya to let in.  Porsha is shocked the ladies are all around each other but don’t quite realize what they all are going through and it’s a blessing for her to be around everyone and hearing their stories.  The ladies share another hug and we’re all still left scratching our heads.

NeNe comes up to see Cynthia and crack a few jokes… staring with that headband of hers.  Cynthia isn’t going to give up her parenting ideals and NeNe couldn’t understand where she’s coming from because she has boys.  I agree it’s a bit easier with boys, but there’s still a valid worry.

Next Steps

Kandi has decided for her next opportunity she wants to do a musical because growing up she was in musical theater.  She wants to get the rest of the ladies involved as well.  This should be an interesting show.  Does any of them have any acting talent… aside from RHOA?

Let it Flow

What is that on your head?  An attempt to make me laugh?

What is that on your head? An attempt to make me laugh?

NeNe now finds Porsha crying in her room and needs to try to comfort her as well.  Porsha sometimes gets caught up when she looks in the mirror and has to put on her make up and act like she’s not in the middle of a meltdown.  Porsha started stalking Kordell’s instagram to see her step-son and it flashes everything back to the family that she wanted and they shared.  NeNe tells her to slow things down until she’s ready to continue moving forward.  Essentially NeNe reminds her she’s got to put her big girl panties on and handle things for herself.  Porsha of course doesn’t know what will happen so she’s nervous.

Change of Plans

To get the ladies back in better spirits NeNe has decided the only thing they could possibly do is to go a drag show and cocktails start to flow.  Drag Queens bring out the happiness in people so of course that’s what needs to happen.  Porsha and Kandi mug it up for the mirror and then realize they’re off to a drag show and not to meet any men.

NeNe wants to know why Kenya and Phaedra can’t talk about their issues and set them aside once and for all.  Kenya tells NeNe that Phaedra is still buzzing about the Apollo proposition but the rest of the ladies are trying to push for the conversation to take place.  Kenya escapes the conversation through the arrival of her sick dog… yeah that’s going to make for an awesome girls trip.

NeNe worries that she’s under dressed with all the other ladies stepping up their game and as Kenya passes by with Velvet to explain the dog has the ‘rheas as she makes herself comfy on Phaedra’s sofa to chat.  Phaedra insists she’s in a great place and over their issues (no she’s not) and doesn’t want to rehash it, but in an attempt to get Kenya to stop talking she decides to whip out her breast pump and go to work.  HA, I love Kenya trying to have this conversation with the whoomp-whoomp-whoomp of the pump.  Yeah, moving on.

Dragging Evening

Even Mynique can't believe this Queen is so skinny.

Even Mynique can’t believe this Queen is so skinny.

Here we go the ladies get the front row seats for Lady Chablis who, for those of you not watching is working her shit like she owns the entire state.  That and my goodness that’s a skinny queen!!  So NeNe tries to help get Lady Chablis’s help with teaching Mynique how to read and throw shade.

Dinner Guest

I'm going to check Porsha in at the step club down the street.

I’m going to check Porsha in at the step club down the street.

After the drag show, the ladies settle in for their cook-it-all-day dinner to break bread together.  Looks like Porsha took NeNe’s advice and texted Kordell to have the conversation about “them”.  Of course she doesn’t know what she should say to Kordell so Kandi decides to pull the trigger and tell Kordell they need to talk about them.  Yeah Porsha, maybe you should let the ladies manage your texts for you.  NeNe reminds her she needs to stop being silly and start being real – this is YOUR life sweetie.

Kandi shares with the ladies her idea for her musical and wants them to be involved but is worried that since NeNe is a mainstream actress now (um, is she?) she might not want to do it.  Of course NeNe is super busy and most likely won’t be able to help… riiiight… busy.  It’s a story of a girl group who got a record deal and the mom of one of the girls doesn’t like the man she’s dating… and… what the??  Conversation is then punctuated by a bug flying in the room.  OK, I’ll give them that is a big ass bug!  While the ladies scurry to the kitchen Kenya and Porsha try to kill the roach.  Eventually after lots of screaming and climbing around, they are successful in ridding the house of the pesky bug.  They take the “roach towel” and jokingly throw it on Cynthia.  Now that’s funny!  Funny because it’s not me getting a pretend roach thrown at me.

Wrap Up

The ladies laugh and share how good they thought the trip was to bond together.  Of course they can’t end on a high note, as Porsha thanks the ladies for all their support NeNe tells her she’s tired of Porsha not being there for her and the others.  Porsha agrees and owns her lack of support for the other ladies.  Wow, look at that… the ladies share a laugh to end the episode.  That’s refreshing.

Bottom Line:  I want a ladies trip now.  I don’t need to go with the huge ass FLYING bugs, but I think there needs to be a trip in my future.  Who’s with me?


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