One-Sentence Summary: The girls rally to support one of their own… almost.
Rachel: Wow, it’s been a minute since we got to hang with our favorite rocker chicks. Finally they’re back, but it’s only for a night. I don’t really like being teased like this. There had better be a Season 3 in the works right now. I’m seriously having a bit of separation anxiety. Good thing I have lots of wine. Seriously, what am I going to do when I come home on a Saturday night, crawl into bed and there’s nothing new and exciting on my DVR? Yes, this is the most going on in my bedroom on a Saturday night these days. Don’t judge. It’s hard out here for a pimp. It’s also hard out here for a single girl in her 40’s. But I digress. I’ll save the pity party for another time. Right now, I have to catch up with my ladies.
Oh yeah, we were waiting in the bowling alley to see if Athena & Bobbie show up for some fun with balls. And what do you know, the girls show up and the night is under way. Balls start flying and pins start falling. It’s good times for all involved.
Yawn. Bobbie also thinks the volume needs to be turned up a bit and says that the losers have to give the winners a lap dance. Bobbie wonders who wouldn’t want a lap dance from Cindy Brady? Arm raised over here. She’s not really the first girl at that party that’s gonna get me to make it rain. Is it me or does it look like she has no teeth? I mean if you could sport some dentures for the poor girl, I’d maybe consider it, but a toothless Cindy Brady isn’t really yanking my chain. Sharise is just happy that all the girls are hanging and having fun. With that, it’s time to make the lap dances happen… Oh hey, I think Cindy might actually have a few teeth in there, but still not feeling it.
Back in the real world, Athena has some bad news to share with Bobbie. Uh oh. OK, this story is more a “say what?” than an “uh oh”. The cops called Athena about the chick James was shacking up with because they’re investigating an armed robbery and think maybe Athena had something to do with it. See, total “say what?” moment. This chick is telling the po-po that Athena & James are back together and that Athena hired someone to hold her up at gunpoint. If it weren’t such a serious allegation, I’d be laughing my ass off at how stupid that is. James Kottak: the gift that keeps on giving.
Oh Lord, looks like Blue is still trying to be a rap star. Sharise brings her to a studio with her friend Oscar Brown so Blue can lay down a track. I hope this guy is getting paid a lot of money, because nothing good can from this. Nothing. I have to wonder about these “producers” who keep working with talentless Housewives. How do you show up to industry events and face your colleagues? Seriously. But into the studio we go so Blue can record her angry white woman rap. What does this white woman have to be angry about? Anyway, that’s over so let’s move it along.
Athena – the actual real angry white woman – shows up at James’s house to
confront him about his bananas ex-girlfriend. He’s sorry it comes back on him – well who else would it come back on – but he told the cops that Athena’s not a suspect so she’s off the hook. On what planet does James Kottak get to dictate what the police do? Athena lets him know that’s not the case and he needs to clean up his mess. He just keeps insisting it’s done. Trust him. He’s rubbing his head and bouncing off walls, so clearly he’s telling the truth. She’s not falling for this routine anymore and tells him to get some help. Same story, same results. Man, I wish Athena didn’t have kids with that jackass so she could cut him out of her life completely.
And speaking of men that can’t be trusted, Brandon is currently being kicked to the curb by Sharise. Apparently, he dropped a lie big enough to get his shit packed and his ass bounced. Sharise can do so much better than that guy. Trust me, I know it doesn’t make it suck any less, but he really isn’t good enough for her. Blue comes running over to lick her BFF’s wounds. Sharise tells Blue – and us – that last Christmas, Brandon ran home to Alabama to spend the holidays with his dad who had just had a heart attack. Turns out dad was code for baby mama and Alabama was code for Orange County. Asshole! She found the pics on his
computer. Dude. How dumb can you be? That’s a terrible lie on top of the bad karma you get for saying your dad had a heart attack, not to mention that you just screwed up probably the best relationship you’re gonna get. Fuck that guy. This is my new favorite phrase, by the way. I have been using it with frequency since my boyfriend broke up with me via email a week ago. Yep, email. Fuck that guy. And fuck this guy for not only hurting Sharise, but hurting her kid too.
Blue thinks the most important thing right now is to take care of Sharise, so she gives Athena a call and asks if she can pop by. Athena says she’s at Bobbie’s, but Blue can stop by there if she’s not planning on upsetting everyone. She says it’s about Sharise and gets the green light. Upon arrival, she tells them about Brandon and says they need to put their differences aside to rally around their girl. I’m waiting with bated breath for Bobbie & Athena to do the right thing. My girls don’t let me down. Athena says she is all in for a night out getting Sharise good and drunk. Bobbie is in too. I feel the love.
Well, it’s a momentary love seeing as how as soon as Blue walks out the door, Athena & Bobbie start talking smack. Too bad they didn’t wait until Blue was far enough down the hall so she couldn’t hear every word they were saying. Oh girls. Bad form. She was doing the right thing for a change. Gotta cut her some slack for that.
But we’ll put all the drama aside for a fun girls’ night. OK, no we won’t, since the first thing out of Bobbie’s mouth is why didn’t Sharise tell them herself. Why did she have to hear it from Blue? Does it matter right now? Blue says she knows they think it was weird, but she was just extending the olive branch for a friend. Fair enough. But then she keeps going and says she overheard Athena & Bobbie’s smack talk. Again, does that matter right now? Aren’t you all there for Sharise? Can’t you put your shit away for a couple of hours so she can feel good for a night? I guess not since now we’re in full swing arguing the same stupid shit over again. Sharise would just like to diffuse the situation and have some fun. Doesn’t work as Bobbie & Athena decide to bail. Man, you know I love me some Athena & Bobbie, but I’m pretty disappointed right now. Sit your asses down, let Blue be Blue and ignore her stupidity so that maybe you can support your friend that is actually in need right now. I can’t tell you how many dinners I’ve sat through biting my tongue so that someone else might have a very needed night away from drama. It’s what we do. Deal with Blue another time.
Rachel: I’m hoping when the next episode starts, it’s with Athena & Bobbie getting their heads out of their asses and walking back into the restaurant.