One Sentence Summary – Reza’s F-bomb mushroom cloud starts to leak its toxins on the group.
Rachel: Wait, how am I waking up on a Monday morning with a new Shahs of Sunset on my DVR? I’m supposed to have a break until Tuesday! I just was able to force myself through the last episode and now I’m being confronted with a whole new one? Oy vey. Well, alrighty then. Let’s do this thing. Maybe it will be a little fun since we have a Gay Pride Parade to attend. I feel like I should put on some assless chaps and leather panties to fully do Gay Pride some justice. TMI? Sorry, I’ve been to a few too many parades in my time and I just got caught up in the good times. Yes, good times indeed… And let’s say I’ve seen some stuff. Miley twerking at the MTV Awards. Bitch please, I saw that shit 5 years ago on Santa Monica Blvd upside down and against a wall. Bring on the floats!
What The F-Bomb?
It’s the morning after Reza’s blow-up and Mike is trying to piece together exactly what the hell happened, as are the rest of us. He meets up with his brother to try and make some sense of it all. Ah yes, the great f-bomb caper of 2013. However will it end? Mike also wonders how to tell Reza that he is no longer welcome on the Club Nur’s parade float. I think it should be pretty simple actually seeing as how he insulted the club owners and 99% of the people in the club. In fact, the de-invite (new world) should be implied.
Mike makes the call and tells Reza that he’s no longer welcome. Reza takes it like you would expect; with piss and vinegar. He even throws down the word “audacious” while further insulting Mike & the club. He wouldn’t deign to be on that hideous float. Good. Then stay home and play the role of petulant child inside your own four walls. Oh and he hung up on Mike. Poor Adam.
F-Bomb Those Guys
Oh joy, and now we’re taken inside the four walls of hell – AKA Reza’s apartment. Reza tells Adam that he was uninvited from being on the the Nur float. Is it me or does Adam seem like he’s scared to even open his mouth around Reza? Granted, living in a box with that kind of temper would scare me too. I mean there is so a “No wire hangers!” moment coming soon. I can already smell the Ajax. But the situation is weighing on Reza because he did an act that he finds repulsive. Well, at least he knows it was disgusting. And yet, he’s still mad at Mike and bitching about the FOB mentality. Here’s the thing, if you don’t want someone telling you how to live your life, don’t tell them how to live theirs. Pretty simple concept. If they want to sashay up and down Santa Monica Blvd in, well, assless chaps and leather panties, then who are you to say no? You may find it offensive, but then again, some would say the same of your mustache. But Adam is still Team Reza and tells him that he’s concerned that Reza & Mike will end up like Reza & MJ did last year. Hmm… common denominator here is who? But Reza has no time for Mike right now. He can’t be concerned. Then stop talking about it.
Asa is making her mom some juice while she waxes poetic to us about her being on the forefront of detoxification thanks to Diamond Water. You are? Did we just go through the time-space continuum because I’m pretty sure non-alkaline water has been around for a long time? But I do appreciate that she’s trying to get her mom to eat healthy. Just maybe do it with a little less preaching. Why don’t moms get that kids worry just as much as they do? And while I’m all in for healthy living, that juice looks vile. And from mom’s reaction, it seems to taste as bad as it looks. Yeah, I refuse to drink anything that looks like it was scraped off the bottom of a baby’s diaper. I have standards.
Side Bar: Just saw an ad for RHONY’s next season. Hallelujah! Stoked for that.
Less stoked that Reza is back on my screen. Wonder who he’s going to yell at now. He’s visiting his investment property that is under construction. Why is the contractor not wearing a hard hat? I mean it’s dangerous being around Reza with all those hurtling insults. Although, he’s actually happy about how things are coming. This project is getting him through the whole Sasha situation. Besides this gives him an additional income which is good because his partnership with Mike is in the shitter along with their friendship… and Reza’s reputation.
Is Lilly even on this show anymore? And we’re back with Mike who is meeting up with MJ to discuss the antics from last night. Why bother? All she’s going to do is regurgitate is Reza’s party line. Mike is unhappy with how Reza acted, and he’s upset with MJ for aiding in verbally assaulting Sasha. She just has Reza’s back because you have to have someone’s back even if they’re wrong. Then you just tell them later. That’s friendship. On what planet does that make sense? She’s such an asshole, but this is not new news.
MJ says that Mike is walking on thin ice with her. He isn’t moved and tells her that she needs to check her morals. She doesn’t think she does. Of course not. Has MJ ever taken responsibility for her behavior? Mike tells MJ that Reza disrespected the gay community and she shouldn’t be defending that. Apparently, the gay man resonates with MJ because she just actually agrees. Granted, she won’t do anything about it, but it’s a start. However, even with the acquiesce, she’s still not invited on the float. I’m sure there’s a little part of Mike that loves telling her to eff off after she chastized him about an engagement ring for Jessica. Instant-ish karma.
You Like Me.
Oh hey, it’s Lilly working since that’s all she’s got going on right now. She’s meeting with a rep from a t-shirt brand called Long Hair Don’t Care to talk to her about being a creative director for them. Really? And that really is for wanting to hire Lilly AND for calling a brand Long Hair Don’t Care. So dumb. Anyway, Lilly is willing to entertain the offer, until she’s told that it would be to design swimwear for them. Lilly is confused how that would work and the rep says that they wouldn’t be in competition. They’re not the same target audience. How is that possible? Is LHDC designing for senior citizens? But Lilly is smart enough to know that it actually is competition, but the idea of a 6-figure salary plus equity makes her slow down long enough to listen. Hell, I’d be packing up my desk as we speak. Lilly, slightly less eager than I, will take a look at the proposal and take it from there. This just reconfirms to Lilly that she’s the shit. Sure smells like it.
Time for gay pride and the gang’s all here. Well, the gang minus the angry twins – MJ & Reza. Lilly even makes an appearance on the float. I guess she has been given a free pass to be let back in while MJ is in exile for the day. How lucky for her. Asa feels like she needs to speak to Reza before she can agree that he shouldn’t be on the float. Well, good thing it’s not up to you. She’s so irritating. Guess what, Reza isn’t infallible.
After some dancing and ass shaking, it’s time for a food break for the kids. Of course, this would be when Sasha comes rolling up in white spandex pants with a mesh ass. Ha, love it. This outfit would set Reza’s hair on fire. The girls want to know what went down at the club. Sasha starts to explain what happened, but Mike puts the kibosh on the conversation because Reza isn’t there to defend himself. It’s two days later and you can’t retaliate when he’s not there. Wait, he’s not there because you disinvited him. So, I’m a little unclear how you’re suddenly all about protecting his rep. Let Sasha tell his side of the story. Reza’s friends will get Reza’s side later. Why everyone gotta be a boss? Mike tells Sasha to sit down with Reza and talk about it. Asa says it wasn’t right what Reza said but he has a lot of baggage. Honey, I have a full Louis Vuitton set of baggage and I don’t behave that way. That’s bullshit. But I will give credit where it’s due, and the group was open to hearing Sasha and didn’t immediately jump down his throat. Miracles do happen.
Time for a post-parade pool party, naturally. When the conversation with the Club Nur people turns to talking about the fear of coming out, Asa decides she needs to talk to Reza. She needs to understand why he’s being such a raging dickhead. OK, maybe those were my words, not hers. She leaves him a very sweet message saying she loves and misses him. Well, I wouldn’t have gone that way, but…
Glimmer of Hope
Asa invites Reza to her home for tea and talk. She tells him what she’s been hearing and the shock of having heard that he dropped an f-bomb. He tells Asa that everything about Sasha irritates him and he brings up the old pain of being judged for who he is. He admits that he took out 39 years of pain on Sasha. Well, that’s honest. Now, whatcha gonna do about it? He says he needs to figure out how to deal with all his pain so he stops acting out. He wants to apologize and be better. OK, liking this. Liking this a lot. Keep going. He had no road map growing up and no one to talk to. With that he breaks down into tears. I actually want to hug Reza right now and that’s pretty amazing considering I wanted to strangle him last week. Is this the beginning of the return? I hope so.
Rachel: This episode should have been called Signs Of Life. Oh well, we can’t have everything.