One-Sentence Summary: It’s two steps forward for some relationships and one step back for others.
Rachel: Man, I’m still wishing Bobbie had punched Blue in the mouth like she threatened. I mean I don’t really, as I don’t advocate violence, but at the same time, I kinda do. At least I do in the sense that I’ve reached the end of my patience rope with Blue. I find her to be insincere and a conniver. I think she’s one of those people that doesn’t want anyone to dislike her, so she talks smack about everyone behind their back to make the person she’s with like her more. Hence her ratting out Bobbie on a trip Bobbie freaking paid for! And you can’t even tell me she really thinks she was protecting Sharise from some evil that was going down. No, she was just protecting her territory. Personally, I think Bobbie should send Sharise & Blue bills for their trip to Miami (aka Ft Lauderdale).
Oh lookie, Athena & Bobbie are hanging out! Does this mean they’re friends again? I hope so. They’ve gone out shopping together which is a good sign, and Bobbie apologizes to Athena for not going on the cruise. Apology accepted. Athena says the cruise was awesome but Bobbie would have hated it. It was all concerts all the time. So, then it’s a good thing she didn’t go? Seems so, besides Athena can’t stay mad at her. She even admits that Bobbie didn’t really do anything that terrible anyway. See, this is why I loves me some Athena. She actually uses logic and reason in her life. A rare occurrence these days. And now that the girls are back to being buds, it’s time to tell Athena what went down with Blue. I have a feeling none of this will surprise Athena. And it doesn’t. She thinks it’s time that someone needs to shut Blue down. Yes. Yes, they do. They both think it’s not Sharise that is the one that has a problem, it’s Blue. Personally, I think it’s both of them but Blue is definitely the head of this parade and Sharise got on the wrong float. Miss Tweed thinks that’s harsh. I think that’s spot on. They don’t get why Blue can’t just be normal. Well, for starters she named herself Blue. And she fancies herself a gangsta rapper. I’m thinking it all kinda just spirals from there.
Over on Team Bitches, Sharise gets a call from Gretchen, Danny Bonaduce’s ex, who just happens to have cameras at her house when she calls. Boy, isn’t that fortuitous? How ever did they know she was going to be calling Sharise at that
moment? Guys, we’re trying to pretend this is all real. Can you throw us a bone with the editing? Anywho, Gretchen misses Sharise and wants to hang out. She suggests bowling. Sharise thinks that’s for old people and kids. If you fall somewhere in between, you should have something more fun to do. Hey, bowling’s awesome! An entire sport based on ugly shoes and polyester shirts can’t be anything but awesome. In fact, I had to take bowling in high school. True story. The school would make us put on our gym clothes and walk a block tot he bowling alley, where I spent 45 minutes learning to bowl while I smoked cigarettes. Ah, high school in Pittsburgh. Anyway, Sharise ultimately agrees to go and promises to try and get the rest of the girls to join. Good luck.
Back at home, Athena’s cruising around Facebook when she stumbles upon the news that her daughter, Tobi, is back with her shitty ex. Needless to say, mom’s not thrilled and daughter will be hearing about it… right after mom hurls.
Back to Operation Bowlmore… Sharise calls Blue to invite her to bowling night. Blue’s into the idea. Sharise wonders out loud if Athena & Bobbie should come. Blue thinks they should focus on meeting new people (see, totally conniving), but she’s into inviting the girls because Sharise is into it. You know if Sharise had said that there’s no way she was inviting the other girls, Blue would be right there joining in the hateration. Ugh, she bugs. Have I mentioned this yet?
Back to Athena’s and the topic at home is: WTF is my daughter doing with that asshole? Tobi says that she’s comfortable with Ahmad. Mom would like her to aim a little higher than this guy, who is a drunk, an ex-con and hits up her relatives for drum sets. Classy. Tobi wants to know how her hanging out with Ahmad is any different than Athena hanging out with James? Oh no, don’t let her turn the tables on you, Athena. We all know that’s not the same situation… ish… and you’re not getting back together with James, anyway… right???? Athena wants better for Tobi than what she’s had herself. Well, you can lead a daughter to better options, but you can make them date them.
Athena & Bobbie are eating pie – not a euphemism, sicko – and debating bowling. Hanging with Blue seems un-fun and annoying, but they think that maybe they should bond over balls. I think the thought of being annoyed with Blue is far more of a turn off than bonding over balls is a turn on. She’s a troublemaker and they’re both over it. Good. I am too.
Oh Lord, James again. Athena has enlisted him to try and help with the Ahmad situation. She thinks since they’re so alike – arrogant, drunks, and male – he could probably get through. Yeah, I’m thinking that might not be the best approach to someone whose help you need. Hold on, did he just say he did a shot of Listerine so he can be a rock star with good breath? Yeah, that’s almost believable. Athena says that Ahmad is an opportunist and someone has to stop him. But James isn’t taking the situation seriously. Wow, how was she married to this guy? I can’t even take him for the 2 minutes he’s on screen every week. Enough already. I beg of you. James says there’s nothing they can do because their daughter is 22. Well, there is that. So he would prefer to talk about the two of them. He asks again if she’s dating anyone. And with that, she is out. And since she’s out, so is he. Well, that was productive. Hey, someone needs to pay the bill.
Time to bowl. Let’s bowl, let’s bowl, let’s rock ‘n roll. Ten points if you know the movie. Blue and Sharise are first to show up and of course Blue has brought Sharise some spiked OJ. Um, pretty sure there’s a bar there, but like the girls were saying earlier, Blue has to be the hero at all times. While we wait for said girls, we get a rundown of the other attendees and it’s quite a list of who’s who… or more like who used to be who… Yes, Susan “Cindy Brady” Olsen, Erin “Tabatha from Bewitched” Murphy, and Corey Feldman’s ex are all ready to bowl. I don’t even have words for what a random crew this is. We’re not sure if Blue & Athena are going to show seeing as how they haven’t responded to Sharise. Subtle hint there? But we’ll have to wait until next week to see if have decided to bond over balls. Sharise thinks this was an olive branch. I’m thinking you probably need to address the fact that you let your friend be called a liar in your home before you expect her to show up and bowl with you. Just a thought. But they’ll probably show since this is a TV show after all.
Rachel: This week was a non-event for me after all the drama of the last few weeks. Let’s kick it up a notch next week, shall we?