Ex-Wives Of Rock – Season 2, Episode 11; Suck My Kiss

One-Sentence Summary:  Bobbie’s generosity has been returned by everyone being mad at her.

Team Shalue proves their BFF-ness is stronger than matching necklaces.

Team Shalue proves their BFF-ness is stronger than matching necklaces.

My Thoughts:  

Rachel:  Well, the girls are back from Florida, and yeah, that went well. And by well, I mean to hell in a handbasket. Seriously, that might have been the least fun girls’ weekend of all time. Well, if you don’t include my 40th birthday weekend in the Keys. That was a special kind of suckitude. Why can’t women put drama away for 48-hour period and just have a good time?  Why?  WHY?  I mean I know some people get off on drama, but it seems like such a waste of a good vacation. I don’t need to rent a villa in a beautiful place to hear you whine about your life and blame it on the world. Last I checked a vacation was time to escape real life. That’s why it costs so much. Anyway, let’s watch the fallout before I need a vacation from myself.

Suck This

Aw yeah, time to get to the meat of this fight with Bobbie and Blue.  The girls arrive home from SoFla and Sharise give Brandon the 411 on the trip. Blue told her, when they were sitting at the airport, that Bobbie has been talking all kinds

We only drink in our closet two times a week. The kids are gone the rest of the time.

We only drink in our closet two times a week. The kids are gone the rest of the time.

of shit on Sharise and Brandon. She’s allegedly been saying that they’re alcoholics and that they have a bar in their closet where they sneak drinks behind the kids’ backs. Um, but there was a bar in your closet. And you were sneaking drinks, though it was behind Athena’s back. Apparently, Bobbie also has been saying that Brandon forces Sharise to drink. Roll tape of every time Sharise has mentioned having a drink on her own. A lot. Of course Sharise & Brandon are pissed, which means it’s time to make fun of Bobbie’s weight. So mature. Hey, here’s an idea: ask Bobbie about it, because aren’t you now just talking shit behind her back too?  Plus, does it take a genius to figure out that Blue is playing the 12-year-old game of “I’m gonna alienate everyone so you stay my BFF”? Sharise is surprised that Bobbie would say something about her since Bobbie’s always had her back.  Again, so maybe go talk to Bobbie. Sharise says she is going to talk to Bobbie. Hey, good idea!

Meanwhile, Bobbie’s book agent, Adam, stops by to tell her about the red carpet party being thrown for her book in LA. Is it just me or does it look like Adam hasn’t slept in about 6 weeks? Anyway, he also was able to get the part about Sharise being a stripper out of the book.  Oh goodie, this just makes the impending face-off even more fantastic. Here-to-forth, Sharise shall be known in the literary world as a mud wrestler. Much classier. And like the serendipity that befalls all reality shows, Sharise calls at that exact moment. Before Bobbie can share the news, Sharise tells her to get her derriere to her house pronto. Way to take the wind out of the good news sails.

But before we can get to Sharise’s, Athena is back from the cruise and being picked up by her daughter because she’s still bummed out by Bobbie – her usual airport fetcher – not coming on the cruise. She had a great time and didn’t drink at all. Right on. Toby gives her her mail, and she sees that while she was gone, she got another postponement on her divorce. Like our narrator Shannon, I thought Athena was divorced already. Apparently not officially. Toby and Athena think that James is postponing on purpose to keep her from moving on with her life. That is probably true. I wouldn’t put it past him and his insanity.

Bobbie has arrived at Sharise’s… Sharise sits her down and tells her that she’s heard she’s been talking shit about her. Bobbie doesn’t even know what she’s about to say but she hopes this is coming from a place of question and not a place of accusation. You know, since they’ve been friend for 20 years and she’s never said anything bad about Shariese. Ummmm…. you might want to hold onto your weave Bobbie. Sharise tells her what she’s heard and where it’s coming from, Blue. Bobbie can’t believe that she would even think for a minute that Blue wasn’t twisting her words. I guess Bobbie hasn’t heard that Sharise & Blue have matching jewelry which clearly makes them truth tellers and besties for life. Sharise thinks Blue should join them so they can get to the bottom of this. Oh here it goes.

While we wait for Blue to get to Sharise’s, Athena stops by James’s place and tells him to sign the damn settlement papers. When she confronts him, he goes into hair scratching mode, which we all know means he’s been backed into a corner that he doesn’t like. He starts babbling out both sides of his mouth about not

Dude, enough with the hair. The answers aren't in there.

Dude, enough with the hair. The answers aren’t in there.

having money but having money so he’s not paying her though he’s paying her. Now I’m rubbing my head. He wants to know if Athena is seeing anyone because they’re still married. Yeah, see when you decided to have a girlfriend that wasn’t your wife and move her into your house, you sort of lost the right to have any say in that department. But he wants her back and would like them to go to therapy. Yeah, therapy probably should have happened BEFORE you got yourself a girl on the side. Athena doesn’t see how therapy will work if he’s going to continue to lie. Hey lying’s all good though because he’s a guy.  Wait, what? There’s a lot more denying and head rubbing, but he finally admits that he was sleeping with Timmy before she moved out. Was there any doubt? Really? I mean this is a revelation along the lines of someone telling me the Pope’s Catholic or wine is delicious. But he’s sorry and wants to move forward. She wants to move forward too. For her though, that moving forward is him getting help and signing the papers. He doesn’t need to get help. He can quit drinking anytime. Yeah, as long as anytime isn’t now or at any point while he’s awake. With that, Athena is out. Don’t even look back girl.

OK, back to the Sharise situation. I seriously hope that Bobbie shoves Blue’s face in a toilet. I seriously am not a fan of hers. I think she’s a total conniver. Anywho, Blue walks in and is feeling blindsided by the fact that she got ratted out. She tells us in her interview that Bobbie has said that Sharise is drinking way more than she used to. Gee, is that the same as being a raging alcoholic? But then we cut to a scene of Bobbie saying that Sharise has a bar in closet to hide from the kids. Dammit, Bobbie. And off Bobbie & Blue go with Sharise on Blue’s side. Blue says she didn’t say anything to get Bobbie in trouble. Why do people play that shit? OF course that’s why you said it. It’s not like you were talking about the Royal baby and oh, “by the by, just so’s ya know, Bobbie talks shit about you”just slipped out. The fight starts going down the I’ll-punch-you path and I’d love to see this shit go down. And because Blue stands up for herself, Sharise knows she’s telling the truth. Blue thinks Bobbie should go. Bobbie says she can’t tell her what to do… so she’s going to go. But that’s her choice and not because Blue said it. Bobbie tells Blue she is never going to talk to her again. Blue seems unmoved. Well, that went well.

Bottom Line:  I was really hoping for a little more fireworks on that one.  Oh well, I’m sure there’s more to come. And I have a feeling Sharise will forgive Bobbie just in time for her red carpet event.  

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