One-Sentence Summary: Someone forgot to bring the glue to Miami on the girls’ bonding trip.
Rachel: Kinda funny watching the Ex-Wives of Rock party it up in South Florida while I’m sitting on a couch in Los Angeles. Yes, I know this isn’t happening in real time, but it’s still funny to me. But I do drink quite a bit of wine. So that might have something to do with it. Hopefully tonight we get to see what happens between Blue & Bobbie. I’m embarrassed to say that I can’t wait to watch someone rip Blue a new asshole. She drives me bananas. Absolutely bananas. So, let’s get to it.
Girls Take 2
It looks like the group trip has turned into mini group trips. Blue & Sharise are off shopping and making jokes at Bobbie’s expense. Blue thinks Athena has been distant on this trip and is concerned. Instead of Sharise telling Blue it’s probably because Athena doesn’t like her, she tells her it’s about James. Yes, this seems like a good time to tell Blue that James was helping out after Athena’s surgery. So, you know, they need to have an intervention. I’m thinking you don’t and you probably don’t need to have one with Blue involved. Nothing good can come from that.
The other twosome, Athena & Bobbie, go for massages. I’d kill someone for a
massage right now. Athena says she needs her brain massaged after all of Blue’s blathering about herself and her being a rapper. Yeah, it’s definitely a joke that Blue has yet to be let in on. But enough about her, Athena says that James told her that she should cancel her trip to Miami so she could watch him not drink. What? That guy is a big bag of crazy. Thankfully, she said no. He didn’t cancel his shows when she had cancer, so why would she cancel her trip for him? I believe, James, that is what karma looks like. Speaking of drinking, Athena hopes Sharise doesn’t ask her to drink tonight. She purposely stays away because she doesn’t want to be around Blue and the drinking. Yeah, here’s hoping she’s smart enough to not offer Athena a drink.
The ladies head to dinner as one united group… in Ft Lauderdale still. Are they actually going to go to Miami at any point? I do like that they went to Mai Kai for dinner though. I’ve driven past it a hundred times and have always wondered what goes on inside. Well, I wonder no more. Half-naked Polynesian men dance with fire and serve drinks. Yeah, I can just skip that. Athena has something to tell everyone. The collective hold their breath at the impending news hoping that it’s not about a reunion with James. Nope, she tells Blue & Sharise that she’s bringing Bobbie on the rock cruise. She can only take one person so she’s taking the single girl. Blue thinks it’s a great idea, because James cannot get to her on the open sea. Yes, and neither can you. Bobbie is freaked out when she hears that there’s no phone service on the boat. She has a book deadline and was planning to work on the cruise. If she can’t work, she can’t go. Sharise gives her shit and says she should just push her publisher back a week. Right, because Bobbie has that kind of authority.
Instead of fighting more, they go to a club. Always a good choice. Not. But off
they go anyway. The girls drink and Athena gets left out in the cold. She’s not feeling the scene, so she leaves. Yeah girls, you kinda need to pay your girl some mind. You must know that this can’t be easy for her so maybe give her a little extra attention? Sharise thinks Athena’s gonna have to to figure it out if she’s going on a booze cruise. Um, how about her friends not act like jerks. How’s that for an idea?
In the morning, Athena apologizes for leaving but there was just nothing but booze everywhere. If she’s not comfortable, she’ll drink and she doesn’t want to drink. So, she removed herself from the situation. Makes sense. Bobbie wonders aloud if that’s why she wants Bobbie to be on the cruise with her. Athena says she doesn’t need a babysitter. She wants her to go to relax. Bobbie’s in.
The girls head to the kickoff party for the rock cruise. The band Vixen is playing and Blue is telling the lead singer she wants to be a rapper. Wait, she’s the former
lead singer, which confuses me, but not as much as Blue showing everyone how to rotate at the waist. Or Blue rapping. Or Blue, in general. All the girls are having fun, until Bobbie pulls Athena aside and tells her that she can’t go on the cruise. She got her last chapter and has a lot of work to do. Athena’s pissed, but I feel like she kinda has to understand. It’s work. I’ve never understood when people get mad because someone has to work. I mean no one – well mostly no one – chooses work over pleasure; especially a fun free cruise with their BFF. I get being bummed. I don’t get being mad. But I miss a lot of the logic these days.
It’s the next morning and Blue & Sharise are packing and baby talking to each other about how perfect of roommates they were. Shoot me. Well, almost perfect until Blue was “sleep eating” chips at 3am. Yeah, go in the hall if you want to crunch-a-munch all night. The new besties bought each other gifts and OMG they bought the same thing!!! I’m going to punch myself just to make it stop. Sharise thinks it’s shitty that Bobbie isn’t going on the cruise. Athena could really use the support. Then you go with her. You wanted to go in the first place. But Athena heads out alone, while Bobbie gets to fly back with the Bobbsey Twins.
Bottom Line: Well, that trip didn’t go as planned. And we still have to wait to find out why Bobbie goes ape on Blue. Killing me here.