One-Sentence Summary: Miami comes in like a lamb and goes out like a lion on the warpath.
Rachel: When we decided to start each blog entry off with our thoughts, we thought we’d never run out of things to share. This is a lie. I have exactly zero interesting things to say tonight. So, I’m not going to prattle on about my insomnia – which is still kicking my ass – and spare you the rambling this week. You’re welcome.
Are we finally going to Miami? Oh yes, we finally are. Oh wait, we’re actually flashing forward to one day after Miami. Tricky editing here, but you can’t confuse this girl that easily. Well, you can but not this time. Anywho, seems the trip wasn’t successful in bringing the warm & fuzzies to Bobbie & Blue’s relationship, seeing as how Bobbie just threatened to punch Blue in her “blown-up lips”. Tee hee. How did we get here? Let’s rewind it back to a day before Miami…
Bobbie and Sharise have a little meet-up so Sharise can decide once and for all if she’s going to Miami. Seriously? You’re still waffling the day before? Just pack your bag and get on the plane already. But first, she needs to fill Bobbie in on her visit with Athena and James being present at said visit. Sharise is worried that this new and improved James is all vapor and is going to disappear, pushing Athena into a new downward spiral. Girl, we all are. Bobbie says that she called Timmi – apparently the nickname for James’s ex-girlfriend – to get her side of the story. Do we really need her side? Apparently not, since she was a total bitch to Bobbie and said Athena could have James. How generous. Sharise wants to have a heart-to-heart with Athena about this situation and see if they can get her head back in the game. Bobbie thinks getting Athena some tail with her new boobs will help her get over James. Whatever you need to do, just do it. I don’t think there’s anyone out there that is buying what James is selling. Is there? Um, what about the book? Not talking about? Isn’t that why we’re here? I guess not.
And we’re still going to Miami yet. We’re going to get our hair did with Athena, where she confides in her hairdresser, Russell, about her recent stint in rehab and how Sharise keeps trying to offer her drinks on the sly. WHAT??? WTF is wrong with her? How do you do that to one of your best friends? Confusion. Anger and confusion. Russell thinks she needs to be hanging with people that respect her sobriety. Uh, yeah. Athena doesn’t want to be left out of the party just because she doesn’t drink, so she thinks she should have a chat with Sharise. Probably a good idea. Granted, Sharise is also on the ready for a little convo with her. This should be interesting.
Back at her apartment, Athena is packing for LA and for her new boobs to be on display. Rock it out, girl. Bobbie is also in on the tits-out wardrobe and shows
up with some boobalicious items for Athena’s suitcase, which will also be going on the rock cruise with her. Oh yeah, the rock cruise… We haven’t talked about that in a few episodes. Bobbie has agreed to go but has not broken the news to Sharise yet. So, add that convo to the list of things that need to be discussed. Boy, Miami is starting to sound like a real bummer. You gonna talk about puppy mills and abandoned babies too?
Holy shit, we’re actually wheels down in Miami! Mazel tov! Wait, if they’re in Miami, why do they keep showing shots of Ft. Lauderdale? I mean, yes, both are in South Florida but they are not, in fact, the same city. Seriously, who do I need to talk to over in that edit bay? Anyway, the girls hit the hotel’s pool and Sharise is on a mission to find Athena a new man. Needless to say, the mix of bikinis and TV cameras makes the girls attractive to all the single men in the pool. And by single men, I mean the three of them that were so nicely placed there by the producers. They want to know why the girls are in town, and Blue is kind enough to let the guys know it’s to celebrate Athena’s new “fun bags”. Sigh… Really, Blue? Someone take the drink out of her hand. But into the pool they go for some
fun and flirting with the twenty-somethings. Isn’t vacation awesome? I need one badly. Like seriously badly.
Bobbie skips out on the pool fun to work in the hotel room, while the other girls play with the boys in the hot tub. Blue regales them with tales of a wannabe country-singer-slash-rapper. And she goes on and on and on about this nonsense. But she’s serious and Athena’s seriously making fun of her. This bums Blue out because it’s not nice to do in front of strangers. Oh honey, they were all thinking the same thing. And for the record, Sharise’s friend Oscar, the rapper, being willing to work with Blue is not surprising. When will the Housewives of all brands learn that producers will work with you regardless of talent because you’re paying them AND giving them free publicity? Hello. But Blue is tired of Athena being mean to her which methinks is the beginning of what brings she and Bobbie to almost blows. But that will have to wait another week…
Bottom Line: So, Miami/Ft. Lauderdale is off to a rough start. And to think, we haven’t even begun to discuss all the fun topics like Bobbie’s book, James being a dick and Sharise giving Athena a complex about drinking. Oy.