Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5, Ep 2: A Manzo of Her Word

One Sentence Summary:  Finally, a little love this week on NJ Housewives.

Family Life

It’s dinner time in the Giudice household and of course we’re treated to the  screeching children.  UGH!  Meanwhile, why is it Gabriella looks nothing like her sisters?  I really don’t know who she looks like.  Then again, I’m sure it’s a blessing for her because on occasion she can pretend she isn’t one of them.  For real, if my children behaved like that they would be put in closets until they stopped screaming.  That and they’d be smacked in the head for rolling their eyes at me like that.  Nono is getting a pacemaker so Teresa has the girls making him cards.  While making the cards Teresa explains to the girls what a pacemaker is and should his heart stop beating he’ll die and that sends Gia into a snit that no one is allowed to discuss his death.  Teresa shares she wants to work things out for the kids but doesn’t think Melissa wants to, and since her brother sleeps with Melissa every night (instead of with her) she’s sure he’ll do what she says.  Um, just like you do what your skeeve / husband says?


So, in the Gorga household the kids are playing football until Joe pops little Joey in the face with a ball.  Nice move Dad.  Melissa is having Jerry the realtor over to check on the status of selling their house.  They moved there originally to be 5 minutes away from Teresa and family, but now clearly that’s too close for comfort.  Living in the same town doing all the same events has Melissa done with trying to fix things with Teresa.  Both Melissa and Joe want to know why they aren’t getting many visitors to their house (other than the gawkers I assume) and the realtor reminds them that 3.8 million isn’t a small sum of money – Yeah, ya think Jer??  Both like to think if it were a couple years ago it would be 6 million.  Sweet Mary kids, realize you are upside down in that house because of the market.  Jerry is going to bring some folks over to look… who can actually afford it… he tells them reassuringly.  Maybe it’s the Manzos looking for another “downsizing” opportunity.

Manzo Meddling

Speaking of, over at the Manzo Manse Lauren is on a no coffee kick and it’s making her cranky.  Methinks this little skinny bitch attitude of Lauren’s is wearing a little thin.  But don’t worry Lauren, you’re still my girl.  Go, have yourself a cup of coffee be happy again!  SO wait a minute, there’s another sister with a dog… It’s Fran.  Auntie Fran??  Where have you been hiding?  Auntie Fran is now living there with her dog after her divorce.  Hang on now, can I move in too Auntie Caroline?  Caroline is reaching out to Teresa via text to have a sit down and talk about Joe’s concerns about their parents and the kids.  Albert reminds her that maybe Teresa is going to think Caroline is butting her nose in.  For some reason Caroline wants to mend the relationship with Teresa and Joe and regardless that she doesn’t want to get into the mess again… she’s going to hop in and muck around in the mess.

Driving Me Crazy

Look it’s Kathy and her family again.  Oh boy, Joseph is learning to drive and since Kathy has taught him to do everything else, she’ll take on driving too.  OK, this is making me crazy that Joseph reminds me of someone and I can’t for the life of me think who it is.  UGH, don’t you hate that??  I digress… when asked what kind of car he would like of course the lad goes with a Ferrari.  Yeah, I’m thinking mom and pops aren’t springing for one on the big day kid.  Though I’m almost not listening anymore because Rich is on yet another one of his degrading rants that make my eyes involuntarily roll in disgust.  Kathy unfortunately sees the warning signs that Rich might be rubbing off on the boy and it sends her eyes rolling as well.

Getting The Word Out

At Parenting magazine, Jacqueline has been asked to do a video blog to promote autism awareness.  Amen sista!  I can’t say enough how proud I am of Jac trying to help people understand what it is and how to help your child move through life and overcome any obstacle they face.

Meanwhile at the Laurita abode, Joe Gorga visits and starts asking Chris how old he is and if he takes viagra.  Yes, I had to pause and contemplate getting a glass of wine to make it through a Joey Gorga sex conversation.  Thank you Chris, yes Joe does have a horn-dog problem and none of us really want to be privy to the details.  Joe wants to know how the situation with Nicholas is effecting their relationship and Chris tells him it’s been hard for them but they make sure to have time for the two of them.

During her video blog Jac shares shares the emotional side of learning or coming to the understanding what was happening to Nicholas and how she started seeing the signs of autism.  She had hoped the doctor would tell them they were wrong in their thoughts.  Oh girl, I want to hug you!!

Chris shares the story that Jac had 5 miscarriages before becoming pregnant with their miracle baby Nic.  Oh man, that’s a rough thing to go through, and again I can’t bang this drum enough… I give her credit for using RHO as a platform to do something really awesome.  Chris is confident that one day they are going to recover him and they will not give up and fight all the way.  Joe tells him he respects the fact Chris didn’t just up and take off when things got bad like some guys do and there might be a little guy love happening in that billiard room if you ask me.

Softer Side

Hey, it’s Kim D darkening our screen while Teresa gets a text from Caroline.  Since Teresa prefers to forgive and forget (since when??) she’s going to think about meeting with her even if she is the last person who should be giving out family advice.  Tread lightly there Teresa, don’t you bad-mouth Auntie Caroline… not on my watch!!  Kim tells her that Caroline needs to be softer with Teresa (because Teresa is so “soft” with everyone else??) because the last time was rough.

Ladies Who Lunch

So Caroline is going to have Lauren do her makeup for lunch with Teresa.  Lauren’s almost choking on her spit at the idea was genius!!  BTW, I wish I had someone in my family who could do my makeup when I had somewhere to go.  I’m so jealous!

At Teresa’s Joe is busy trying to read paperwork with a magnifying glass (court documents maybe?) while she comes in to tell him she’s going to meet with Caroline – I guess they had to save the conversation for the camera so we could get his asinine response.  Joe tells her if Caroline starts to lecture to just get up and walk out that she doesn’t know everything.  Apparently neither does the president according to Joe.

In the meantime, that’s exactly what Caroline wants to do is lecture and shake Teresa to wake her up to the pain that’s being caused.

Teresa thinks Caroline is sorry for the way she treated her in California and she wants to get together to apologize.  Joe thinks it’s a funny idea to string garlic cloves together for Teresa to wear around her head while you can see the sheer lack of understanding wash over Teresa’s face.  No, sorry, it’s not that, she’s trying to think of the story she wants to tell about how when a woman has her period men wouldn’t drink wine or anything read because they would put some of their blood in it to put them under a trance.  That’s what she thinks Melissa did to her brother that she had her period and her brother went dow on her and voilà – or “walla” as Teresa says.  Are you kidding me with that Teresa??  No, for real, I actually had to listen to that twice because I didn’t actually believe her saying that the first time.  I guess neither can Joe as he might look as perplexed as the rest of us with a little bit of “ew” thrown in for good measure.  I can’t believe it, this might be the one time Joe and I share an opinion… well, that and the “C” thing last season but let’s not dig up the past.

No Class

So Rich is compelled to drop F-bombs as he walks through the grounds of his daughter’s Catholic school to completely embarrass her and make an ass of himself.  Really Rich, can you be a little less of an asshole?  I wouldn’t start casting stones my friend – it’s not like you’re a prize.  I would completely slap you in the head.  As they walk through the school Kathy realizes the mistake she made marrying Rich.  No, that’s just me… she tells Victoria she loved starting a family so young, but she’ll have something she can do with her life.  Again, I might be casting a little interpretation on her words.  Hmmm, Rich’s “personality” is starting to take a toll on Kathy?  Welcome to the club my dear, I’ll show you the secret handshake in a few minutes.

Deli It Up

I love that Jacqueline has her own deli slicer.  I would weigh a thousand pounds if I could slice up my own parma and prosciutto on a whim.  Anyway, apparently all the cool kids are coming over tonight to hang out at the Laurita house (and by cool kids I mean everyone but the Giudices).  They discuss Nic’s progress and how they think he can do more.  Family gatherings are hard for her to be around but she doesn’t want to go back to the bad place, and Chris is convinced if they keep doing what they are doing it will all work out.

Open House

It’s a showing at the Gorga house with Mr. and Mrs. McWASP.  Um, I have to ask why they are actually home during the open house.  No really, why would you ever want to be there?  No, people don’t want kids in the house either.  They want to walk through your house and Judge Judy you and your family… kinda hard to do when you’re in the TV room.  Seriously, pack up the kids in the car and drive down the block.  While Joe is downstairs telling Melissa someone is getting a steal at 3.8 the visitors notice cracks, the lack of actual water in the sink and well, the broken (at least now it is) faucet handle laughing at each other asking if it’s a joke only to notice the cracked sink top made of wood.  Another realtor tries to lay it on the line with their asking price but Joe thinks it’s bullshit they won’t get their asking price.  Ah, keep the dream alive Joe.

The Sit Down

I love these private room lunches for the ladies.  So while she waits for Teresa, Caroline confesses that she’s accused of being a bully because she tells it like it is which I’ll agree, she does, and that’s why I love her quite frankly.  In rolls Teresa who isn’t worried about meeting with Caroline.  There’s an awkward exchange of hellos and minor pleasantries then Caroline tells Teresa Joe asked her to talk to Teresa to which T says he’s scraping the bottom of the barrel calling in Caroline.  Caroline tells Teresa she wanted to step in because the arguing isn’t right and she knows how it feels.  Teresa tells her she knows what she’s doing but Caroline tells her her heart hurts because of her own issues with Auntie Dina.  While trying to deflect, Teresa brings up that Joe apologized to Kim D who set Melissa up and Caroline asks why then she’s still friends with her.  I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s because Kim D kisses Teresa’s ass and she likes it.  Teresa brings up what Jacqueline did to her to change the direction.

Poker Night

Speaking of Jacqueline, it’s the Poker Night for the friends and of course the usual Laurita spread is ready to go.  I swear, if I was friends with them and this is the spread they put out ever time friends come over I’d be 500 pounds!  Id also be ringing their doorbell 5 times a week.  The Manzo boys are the first to arrive followed closely by the Gorgas and Wakiles.  Yep, the gang’s all here including Rosie who is ready for some poker.  So while getting down to their chips the boys ask Rosie about her preferences and in case you were wondering, she likes the tatas.  Joe Gorga tells her she should try being with a man just so she knows… yeah anyone else seeing this go awfully bad awfully quickly?  I can barely handle Joe ranting on about sex and now he’s going with the lesbian angle?  Yeah, my eyes are gonna roll right out of my head tonight.

Meanwhile the ladies are upstairs talking about Nicolas’s progress while Chris shares withe the boys the surprise he has for Jac – he’s been working with the therapist to get Nicholas to tell Jac “I love you”.  Man, I’m misting up over here!

Food-less Lunch

Caroline asks about Teresa’s relationship with Cathy and Teresa says it will be a cold day in hell before sitting at a table with her.  Teresa thanks Caroline for the effort but she’s had a bad week with her father in the hospital.

The ladies finally make their way to the poker game and Chris decides it’s time to surprise Jacqueline.  Nicholas the little sweetling tells Jacqueline “I love you” and I about burst into tears.  Really Bravo??  You’re killing me here!

Back at lunch Caroline reminds Teresa she knows she doesn’t want her father to die not seeing his kids together.  Teresa says she’ll accept her brother back with open arms… only if Melissa admits to her wrong doing and that both sides need to bend to make things right.  Please Teresa, you bend like a brick wall.  After Teresa’s departure, Caroline things she’s accomplished something but needs a drink.

Bottom Line:

Sorry for the delay friends, the day job got in the way, but hang on now… I’m just seeing the genius of the LI Princesses and completely distracted from my Housewives.


One response to “Real Housewives of New Jersey: Season 5, Ep 2: A Manzo of Her Word

  1. Nice Post. Its really a very good article. I noticed all your important points. Thanks”

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