Real Housewives of Atlanta – Season 5 Reunion Part 2

One Sentence Summary:  Wig finally shows her face again for a good bye hug.

My Thoughts: 

Wow, my boobs DO look great!

Wow, my boobs DO look great!

Melissa:  Part 2 of “Come On Wig” is ready to roll and I couldn’t be more excited.  Finally, we get to hear Kim defend her storming out of the brunch because she didn’t like what she was hearing from the other ladies and threatening to sue the producers for having the camera in her face.  She doesn’t appreciate the camera in her face.  Well, when it isn’t all about her or her own show.  Good Evening Narcissist, table for 1?

NeNe’s Loves

How much longer I need to return this text message?

How much longer do you think we’ll be, I need to return this text message.

Of course NeNe loved the other ladies’ conflicts.  Didn’t we all?  Really, isn’t that why we watch this show… the conflict?  I didn’t realize NeNe is the longest running of the Housewives.  Right, I guess Kim doesn’t count since she stormed off halfway through the season.  I really should see if I can’t get me some season 1 videos and make a rainy day of it.  Hang on now, when did NeNe have a long bob when she and Gregg were splitting up?  I’m so confused when that happened.  Was I away then?  I do love a NeNe / Gregg montage.  I like that he stood up to declare he loved her and wanted to be with her.  I think too many people let things slide and let them continue to slide until there’s nowhere else to go but apart.  Ah, as part of the digging, we’ll touch on the Peter and Charles gossip about NeNe.  I totally forgot that because I think that’s when I was annoyed with NeNe.  Wait a minute here, did NeNe just tell us Phaedra brought Marlo into the fold??  Phaedra, WTF kind of move was that?  Shame on you woman!  That’s totally uncool.  I’m still trying to get over Marlo – though truth be told Kenya is almost as bad.  Oh PUH-LEEZE, NeNe, do not try to pretend you don’t flirt.  You flirted with Peter almost the entire last season.  Even I thought it was shady.

Phaedra’s (hot) Seat

I try to explain to Cynthia that more than a handful is too much.

As Phaedra tries to defend herself, Cynthia begins to nod off.

Yes!  An homage to Phaedra’s season of shadiness.  HA, I  loved Phaedra trying to dance away from the comments she said about Cynthia not going to Ayden’s  birthday party.  EW, I didn’t need to see that damn tongue lashing from Apollo and Phaedra even if they are trying to prove that they aren’t headed to divorce court.  UGH, I think I might vomit.  I’m pretty sure I ended up fetal in a corner whimpering and rocking the first time I saw that display (I dare you not to start singing “On display… on display”).  Don’t get me wrong folks, I’m all for passion in a relationship, but keep that tongue bath business behind closed doors.  Maybe it’s the cold / allergies throwing me for a loop here, but I can’t follow anything Phaedra is saying in defense of her shady dealings.  Now I love you Phaedra dear, but you tossed shade at everyone this season and you know it.

NeNe accuses Phaedra of going around to NeNe’s half-sisters looking for dirt and bringing up her past.  Was that wise?  Let’s be honest, NeNe has always owned her past so I’m not sure what Phaedra was thinking she’d find.  Man, NeNe is about to have her head spin off about Phaedra’s shadiness, but thankfully Kenya tries to steal back the spotlight about how Phaedra has done her shady too.  Phaedra claims she’s already apologized to NeNe, but she doesn’t seem to have accepted anything.

Enter The Wig

It might not be a wig, but this Winey Bitch is thinking she still has some bought hair on that head.

It might not be a wig, but this Winey Bitch is thinking she still has some bought hair on that head.

Kim finally strolls in and sweet baby cheeses is that a bad dress!!  No really, I’m not even sure where I DON’T want to look first… poorly placed cutouts, Droopy Dog side boob, side fat.  Who told her that was a good look?  OK, I’ll give her props for her real hair (with a few extensions), but that dress is a whole other hot mess.  Here we go… Andy starts right out with the brunch from hell & her storming off the set… er, restaurant.  She isn’t worried about seeing the ladies and is excited about the opportunity to be there and clear things up.  We start off with a montage of Kim’s excuses this season, and my favorite NeNe-ism – “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya”.  She explains away her not traveling with the ladies to Anguilla because her priority is her baby and having him in Atlanta, Georgia.  Andy suggests she didn’t want to have anything to do with the women during the season, but she insists that she just had a lot going on.

She also tries to insist the reason Kroy was at the lunch was that his role in her life is essentially Driving Miss Kim.  Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but when my hubs drives me someplace, he’s not hanging around in the parking lot waiting on me.  I need to text him, and at some point, he’ll get back to pick me up.  It does seem a bit hinky that Kroy just happened to be waiting at the curb for her to storm off.

While she makes excuses for her excuses, the ladies point out that it’s about being a team player especially when they tried to arrange shooting around her.  Yeah, well nobody’s raising her babies but her.  And by “her”, she means her husband, Sweetie, both daughters, the housekeeper, nanny and babysitter.  Andy shows Kim how the ladies came together after she stormed out.  NeNe knew when Kim stormed out she was gone from the crew… to her own spin-off.

Kim The Nightmare… er, Kim’s Nightmare

either she smells something bad or Kenya doesn't care for Kim trying to grab all the attention.

Kenya doesn’t care for Kim trying to grab all the attention.

Kim is still upset about being evicted from her dream home.  I’m still completely confused about that whole situation.  She was renting the house (possibly planning to buy it), decided it was an awesome idea to be rude to her landlords and then turned spiteful because they stopped catering to their tenant?  Did I get that right?  It’s so silly to me, that whole mess of a scenario.  Clearly I missed the Kandi’s house bashing from Kim too.  She claimed Kandi’s house was in the “hood”?  Really?  I didn’t realize gated communities were hood.  Well, at least Kim’s next house is already in foreclosure… Oh I’m sorry, they bought a foreclosure.  Anyone else see the foreshadowing?

Ready for a change of topic, Andy turns to NeNe and “confirms” she’s thought Kim was racist.  Here’s the thing, I don’t think Kim is a racist.  No, she’s just rude.  She’s above all others no matter the color, so she can openly insult anyone… right down to her own family.

The topic of baby Kash and the name stealing is next on the agenda.  Kandi agrees she was pissed and felt Kim stole the name from her.  Always ready to defend herself, Kim pulls out her LLC document with Kash’s name.  BLAM, TAKE THAT!  No, that was just my interpretation of what Kim thinks she looks like showing off her papers, when, in fact, she looks like an idiot.  Apparently, at some point, Kim announced she had no friends left as she left the show.  Kandi says their relationship failed because of what happened from working together on Kim’s song (if you could call it that).  If Kim could redo anything over her 5 years, it would be to communicate better with the rest of the ladies, but she has no regrets.  At the question of NeNe and Kim becoming friends again, both ladies think they are at different places in their lives.  So that would be a no… even though we know they have patched things up per Us Magazine.

Hug It Out Bitches!!

Side fat or bad dress?  You be the judge.

Side fat or bad dress? You be the judge.

And with a final hug to NeNe, Kim exits her role as a Housewife.

Bottom Line:

Really, Kim couldn’t even bring enough crazy to entertain me tonight??  What’s wrong ladies?  Is everyone suffering from allergies and not up to peak performance?


9 responses to “Real Housewives of Atlanta – Season 5 Reunion Part 2

  1. Goooood lord that fat back and side boob is just gross and she thinks she’s all tha! Kim that is. I despise her and now she throwong hints on E saying she’s danced for over 17 years and would love to be on DWTS’s! Lol. That girl can’t even poor her own wine or get out of bed to barely go pee by herself. Can u possibly see that lazy ass try DWTS? That’s a big joke to me, but lets not forget she don’t want cameras in her face. Can’t u just see those poor people who make the outfits for DWTS with ole fatback always trying to get them to make her clothes with side boobs only please. Lol. This girl has balls doesnt she except when she’s confronted by the other girls, I wished you had see the episode when Kim and Sweeti went to Kandis gorgeous home bc they certainly made some bad comments right to Kandis face.. Wen Kim saw the indoor pool she told Kandi “weel if I was black I would have had an indoor pool too!” Ha! What a nice compliment that was. Did y’all get a good look at the hug begween Kim and Nene? Lol. Nene’s body was so far away from Kim’s ,bc I assumming Nene didn’t want to give her a real hug. Lol. What is it with all these spin offs? Way to many it’s getting boring. Kim’s new foreclosure dream house has over 2/3’s mold in it and had to be gutted, I cracked up. If iwqs was spending millions of dollars on a dream house I would buy a lot and start from scratch rather than always taking someone’s leftovers, not that it bad to live where someone else has or rent but it doesn’t make sense she’s she’s so dead set on “her dream house”, which has turned into the money pit.
    I laughed when I saw it bc she is not as smart as she thinks she is. I also get so tired of her calling Kroy (love)! He could have done so much better and only God knows why he married her. Have y’all noticed her tag line about God? It funny to me, bc every other word put of her mouth is GD! MF! FU and any other curse word u can possibly think of plus the cigs and the constant wine in her hand and doesn’t she breast feed? Oh well I’ve blasted her enough I just can help myself bc that one 33 year old HO irritates me to death!

    • dkiber, I think I need to start a petition to get her on DWTS… with Maxim as her partner. That would be comedic genius if you ask me! I’m still stunned she got her own show. Clearly Bravo is scraping the barrel.

  2. Brilliant! Maybe allergies are the explanation but they all looked about to nod off. Kenya’s bored when she’s not the focus, Cynthia is distracted by shiny stuff on the set, Kandi’s hungry, Nene’s messing with her phone, and Phae is daydreaming about the “scrumptious” strippers at the Clermont. Yawn. Looks like the husbands may make it interesting tomorrow night. Let’s hope!

    • sadly RRAH the closest we got to interesting was the Kenya / Apollo text-gate that wasn’t. Why couldn’t we explore THAT a bit more. Gimme that phone let me see it!

  3. I don’t ever want to see the front, back or any side of Kim again! An offense to the human eyes…

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