One Sentence Summary: Wig finally shows her face again for a good bye hug.
Melissa: Part 2 of “Come On Wig” is ready to roll and I couldn’t be more excited. Finally, we get to hear Kim defend her storming out of the brunch because she didn’t like what she was hearing from the other ladies and threatening to sue the producers for having the camera in her face. She doesn’t appreciate the camera in her face. Well, when it isn’t all about her or her own show. Good Evening Narcissist, table for 1?
Of course NeNe loved the other ladies’ conflicts. Didn’t we all? Really, isn’t that why we watch this show… the conflict? I didn’t realize NeNe is the longest running of the Housewives. Right, I guess Kim doesn’t count since she stormed off halfway through the season. I really should see if I can’t get me some season 1 videos and make a rainy day of it. Hang on now, when did NeNe have a long bob when she and Gregg were splitting up? I’m so confused when that happened. Was I away then? I do love a NeNe / Gregg montage. I like that he stood up to declare he loved her and wanted to be with her. I think too many people let things slide and let them continue to slide until there’s nowhere else to go but apart. Ah, as part of the digging, we’ll touch on the Peter and Charles gossip about NeNe. I totally forgot that because I think that’s when I was annoyed with NeNe. Wait a minute here, did NeNe just tell us Phaedra brought Marlo into the fold?? Phaedra, WTF kind of move was that? Shame on you woman! That’s totally uncool. I’m still trying to get over Marlo – though truth be told Kenya is almost as bad. Oh PUH-LEEZE, NeNe, do not try to pretend you don’t flirt. You flirted with Peter almost the entire last season. Even I thought it was shady.
Phaedra’s (hot) Seat
Yes! An homage to Phaedra’s season of shadiness. HA, I loved Phaedra trying to dance away from the comments she said about Cynthia not going to Ayden’s birthday party. EW, I didn’t need to see that damn tongue lashing from Apollo and Phaedra even if they are trying to prove that they aren’t headed to divorce court. UGH, I think I might vomit. I’m pretty sure I ended up fetal in a corner whimpering and rocking the first time I saw that display (I dare you not to start singing “On display… on display”). Don’t get me wrong folks, I’m all for passion in a relationship, but keep that tongue bath business behind closed doors. Maybe it’s the cold / allergies throwing me for a loop here, but I can’t follow anything Phaedra is saying in defense of her shady dealings. Now I love you Phaedra dear, but you tossed shade at everyone this season and you know it.
NeNe accuses Phaedra of going around to NeNe’s half-sisters looking for dirt and bringing up her past. Was that wise? Let’s be honest, NeNe has always owned her past so I’m not sure what Phaedra was thinking she’d find. Man, NeNe is about to have her head spin off about Phaedra’s shadiness, but thankfully Kenya tries to steal back the spotlight about how Phaedra has done her shady too. Phaedra claims she’s already apologized to NeNe, but she doesn’t seem to have accepted anything.
Enter The Wig
Kim finally strolls in and sweet baby cheeses is that a bad dress!! No really, I’m not even sure where I DON’T want to look first… poorly placed cutouts, Droopy Dog side boob, side fat. Who told her that was a good look? OK, I’ll give her props for her real hair (with a few extensions), but that dress is a whole other hot mess. Here we go… Andy starts right out with the brunch from hell & her storming off the set… er, restaurant. She isn’t worried about seeing the ladies and is excited about the opportunity to be there and clear things up. We start off with a montage of Kim’s excuses this season, and my favorite NeNe-ism – “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya”. She explains away her not traveling with the ladies to Anguilla because her priority is her baby and having him in Atlanta, Georgia. Andy suggests she didn’t want to have anything to do with the women during the season, but she insists that she just had a lot going on.
She also tries to insist the reason Kroy was at the lunch was that his role in her life is essentially Driving Miss Kim. Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but when my hubs drives me someplace, he’s not hanging around in the parking lot waiting on me. I need to text him, and at some point, he’ll get back to pick me up. It does seem a bit hinky that Kroy just happened to be waiting at the curb for her to storm off.
While she makes excuses for her excuses, the ladies point out that it’s about being a team player especially when they tried to arrange shooting around her. Yeah, well nobody’s raising her babies but her. And by “her”, she means her husband, Sweetie, both daughters, the housekeeper, nanny and babysitter. Andy shows Kim how the ladies came together after she stormed out. NeNe knew when Kim stormed out she was gone from the crew… to her own spin-off.
Kim The Nightmare… er, Kim’s Nightmare
Kim is still upset about being evicted from her dream home. I’m still completely confused about that whole situation. She was renting the house (possibly planning to buy it), decided it was an awesome idea to be rude to her landlords and then turned spiteful because they stopped catering to their tenant? Did I get that right? It’s so silly to me, that whole mess of a scenario. Clearly I missed the Kandi’s house bashing from Kim too. She claimed Kandi’s house was in the “hood”? Really? I didn’t realize gated communities were hood. Well, at least Kim’s next house is already in foreclosure… Oh I’m sorry, they bought a foreclosure. Anyone else see the foreshadowing?
Ready for a change of topic, Andy turns to NeNe and “confirms” she’s thought Kim was racist. Here’s the thing, I don’t think Kim is a racist. No, she’s just rude. She’s above all others no matter the color, so she can openly insult anyone… right down to her own family.
The topic of baby Kash and the name stealing is next on the agenda. Kandi agrees she was pissed and felt Kim stole the name from her. Always ready to defend herself, Kim pulls out her LLC document with Kash’s name. BLAM, TAKE THAT! No, that was just my interpretation of what Kim thinks she looks like showing off her papers, when, in fact, she looks like an idiot. Apparently, at some point, Kim announced she had no friends left as she left the show. Kandi says their relationship failed because of what happened from working together on Kim’s song (if you could call it that). If Kim could redo anything over her 5 years, it would be to communicate better with the rest of the ladies, but she has no regrets. At the question of NeNe and Kim becoming friends again, both ladies think they are at different places in their lives. So that would be a no… even though we know they have patched things up per Us Magazine.
Hug It Out Bitches!!
And with a final hug to NeNe, Kim exits her role as a Housewife.
Really, Kim couldn’t even bring enough crazy to entertain me tonight?? What’s wrong ladies? Is everyone suffering from allergies and not up to peak performance?