Rants from Suburbia – Put some pants on!!

Melissa:  OK, I can’t hold it in any longer.  I try to be open-minded about most things, and let some things slide because I don’t know someone’s backstory or whatever.  But it’s becoming too much at this point and I can’t take it.  When did it become acceptable for anyone over the age of 5 to leave the house in their pajamas??  No really, when did this decision happen?  Who made this call?  I clearly was not involved in vetting the idea.

Take Note:  appropriate for home, not the dairy aisle.

Take Note: appropriate for home, not the dairy aisle.

Now, I know I live in deep suburbia (my partner can attest) where the fashion police clearly never patrol, but that doesn’t make it acceptable to roll to the grocery store in your Halloween PJs. (Don’t get me started that it’s spring and you’re completely out of season.)  Come on women we get it -you’re busy raising your children – but really, how hard is it to put on a pair of jeans or yoga pants??  Plus with yoga pants you can pretend you are going to do something a little more taxing than crawling back into bed for the rest of the day.  Plus, if you shell out for the good ones (you know what I’m talking about), they make your ass look amazing!  Who doesn’t like walking around the grocery store, or town even, knowing your backside looks great?

I’m busy too.  I have a full time job and I’m raising a child and a spouse.  Here’s the thing though… I seek solace every other Saturday morning at the nail salon reading the closed-captioned romcom du jour while listening to Christina Aguilera.  You are destroying my happy place with your plaid PJs talking about how busy you are, which we get since your exhausting schedule only allows you 2 hours to rush off for a mani and pedi.  Even Amanda Bynes puts pants on before she leaves her house!!  Sorry sweetie, I adore you, but you’re a mess lately… fix your shit.  If Amanda can pull it together enough to put on some pants, you can too.

Apologies if this really is offensive to anyone who loves to rock this… er, style (?), but it’s just not a good look for the modern day woman.  Especially you, Halloween PJs lady.  Thanks to my subscription to Marie Claire, I’ve been deputized and I’m coming for you.  You had better not try to roll up on me in Stop-n-Shop in your Christmas PJs and expect me not to chuck a head of lettuce at you – especially if I’m only on my first coffee and not thinking clearly… You’ve been warned!

Photo:  http://www.victoriassecret.com
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4 responses to “Rants from Suburbia – Put some pants on!!

  1. I can handle pjs, I just want to know when it became acceptable for adolescent girls to wear shorts so tight and short they look like their crotch is grazing on the damn things like a goat. It’s like, I go out to the mall and I see girls of all walks and their butt cheeks are hanging out, it’s 43 degrees outside and I’m like, “Where is your mother??”
    Oh, usually in Victorias Secret, buying themselves pajamas that say “PINK” across their butt.

    • OMG Melani “so tight and short they look like their crotch is grazing on the damn things like a goat” – made me almost snort-laugh tea out of my nose!! Just because it zips doesn’t mean it fits… amen!

  2. im with you on this melissa. especially in school. pjs in school!?!?

    • I can somewhat forgive “kids today” BuildMyWeb… oh who am I kidding… no, I can’t. That’s insane too.

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