Real Housewives of Atlanta – Ep 19: Donktabulous!

One Sentence Summary:  It’s anyone’s guess who actually wins the booty versus booty battle.

My Thoughts:

just a quick prayer that my video sells more than Phaedra's

Just a quick prayer that my video sells more than Phaedra’s

We’re headed back to Kandi’s for the rest of Kenya’s storming out.  I really wish she’d replay a GWTW Fabulous for us, but sadly I think that was a once in a lifetime experience <sigh>.  Thankfully it’s the official battle of the video booties thrown down.  I’m going to put it out there that it’s just a hot mess of ridiculous and the rest of us in the viewing audience are on the losing end for the next hour.

Housewarming Gone Cold

What do you mean Walter isn't a stalker?  No, he has to be otherwise I won't have a big storyline!

Look into my eyes… I am not the crazy one here!

LOL, I love that Kenya keeps calling Walter a stalker.  Wishful thinking my dear?  I  also love that Don Juan takes one for the team about the invites.  That’s friendship right there.  Can Kenya be any more dramatic?  Really, going to roll over the Rolls Royce?  Cool your jets Drama Club, you drive a Rover not Grave Digger.  Of course Phaedra knew Walter would be there and didn’t say anything, that’s just good times for her.  I’ll bet she was wringing her hands in excitement the whole drive to the house.  Thankfully the crew (in their party debrief) see the logic that there’s no need to take a side in the silliness that is Kenya’s drama.  Amen Cynthia, I don’t typically agree with you, but you have a point there my dear.  Let’s see how long you hold on to those thoughts before running back to Kenya’s corner.

NeNe’s Normal

What's this water?  Put some vodka in this glass and we can have a real toast.

What’s this water? Put some vodka in this glass and we can have a real toast.

NeNe and Gregg get a chance to catch up and celebrate (with water) his good day.  BTW, it’s completely bad luck to toast with water, tread lightly Gregg you’re dancing with bad juju.  I’m not sure what he has to celebrate about, but the conversation continues to Brent and where he needs to live should NeNe get a second season.  Her thinking is that Gregg and Brent will stay in ATL and she’ll be in LA.  NeNe doesn’t think he needs to be with her every day.  Seeing the writing on the wall, he throws out a wedding suggestion to which NeNe rolls her eyes.  They review her scene playing herself and 2 other characters on the New Normal.  I don’t know, I love NeNe, but I think she just plays NeNe on the show.  Just my two cents.  You know how I like to give it.

Time to Move On

No you see, I'm allowed to talk about everyone and be offended when they talk about me.

No you see, I’m allowed to say what I want  about everyone and be offended when they talk about me.

Hmmm… a casual run in with Lawrence and Kenya at Bar One?  I didn’t even know that place was a still place.  I should do a little Google recon on a few of these business adventures of the ladies and their men to see who is still doing what.  Anywho, Cynthia wants to debrief the party with Kenya – oh this should be good.  She shares her discomfort with being around Walter after the break up.  OY woman, you’re insane…. LET IT GO!!  Thankfully Cynthia reminds her that Atlanta is small and odds are you’re going to run into someone you don’t like or used to date.  Kenya tries to plead her case that it’s not nice being around someone who is always taking shots and making digs.  Um, say what now?  Didn’t you call him gay just last week?  I’d say that’s a shot if I ever heard one.  Kenya isn’t pleased that Cynthia isn’t 100% siding with her.  Oh no, you called her crazy Cynthia?  She’s going to turn on you like a viper.  Kenya insists she wants to move on with her life and asks if Cynthia knows anyone for her.  No offense there sweetie, but if you were my “housewife friend” I’d not be running any of my guy friends in front of you because you’re a big ball of crazy tied with a demented ribbon.

Therapy <grrrrrrr>

Here, you're going to need a tissue when you see my bill.

Here, you’re going to need a tissue when you see my bill.

Awesome, it’s therapy time!  Sweet baby cheeses (my new favorite saying – totally stolen from a fan of Really Real Atlanta Housewife) why do reality folks love their therapy sessions??  No, my question really is why do I have to suffer through it?  I blame you Bachelor Brad… you started this mess… or maybe you Bethenny Frankel with your weekly sessions.  I get it, people need therapy… God knows I have done my time on the sofa.  So go on, have your therapy, meditate, dance with chickens in the moonlight… whatever works for you, just don’t make me watch.  OK, I swear I’m done.  Back to Porsha who tells her therapist about her miscarriage and desires to want to have a baby though she hasn’t told Kordell how badly she wanted him to understand what the miscarriage did to her.  Aw, I’m with you girl.  It IS a loss, and your hubs not being supportive just pisses me off.  She’s worried she’s going to feel alone if she gets pregnant again so she’s going to bring Kordell in with her for a session.  Yeah, let’s see how that goes.

And the Award Goes To…

Speaking from the heart thanking the ladies for their hard work with vibrators.

Speaking from the heart thanking the ladies for their hard work with vibrators.

We check in on Kandi at her Bedroom Kandi Boutique launch party.  Damn girl, that’s crazy it’s just been a year for this business venture.  Today she’s meeting her sales consultants, and there are a TON of them.  No wonder her business is booming.  Hang on, there’s an award for best sex toy line??  Are you kidding me, that’s awesome!  I’m so not even sure where to go with the jokes for that one.  Hmmm, I would have thought the award would have looked slightly more… I don’t know, phallic.  Just saying.  I love Kandi and how she just puts herself out there and speaks from her heart.  That’s why this Winey Bitch loves you girl!!

Water and Strength

You see I'm so fabulous

You see I’m so fabulous

Oh boy… NeNe and Cynthia at the wine shop!!  Whatcha drinking ladies??  Oh I’m so jealous right now of the sampling I don’t even want to listen to them talking about NeNe’s career and shows.  Well, that is until Cynthia feels like she needs to get all up into her business about her relationship with Gregg.  Yes, he got a chance to miss her and she got a chance to miss him.  I think that helps when couples can miss each other.  Aw NeNe I love when you talk about Gregg as your soulmate.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard a glass of wine described as water and strength but I’ll pick up what you’re putting down… And now I want a glass of whatever that is.

Future Planning

I know you didn't just mess up those covers after I remade the bed.

I know you didn’t just mess up those covers after I remade the bed to shoot this scene.

Now you know she woke up and made her bed.  Seriously, whose bed looks like that in the morning?  Mine is a mess of tangled sheets half falling off one side of the bed while the duvet is falling off the other and a random sock dangling out of the side that I kicked off in the middle of the night.  OK, sorry, that’s not what we’re here for.  Kandi’s worried her mom isn’t feeling the love lately because she doesn’t spend enough time with her.  She seems a bit distant about not living in the guest house and Todd doesn’t seem to want to talk about her living near them when they are just starting out.  Wait, now they’ve segued to marriage talk and the ring Kandi tried on, surrogates and KA-BLOW… Prenups.  Todd is cool with a prenup as long as it’s fair.  AND he can get a little of that “morning stuff”.

Booty Battle

Rocking the lime

Rocking the lime while the real fitness expert rolls her eyes wondering why she didn’t ask for more money for this day’s work.

So Kenya is off to get ready for her shoot, while Phaedra and Apollo are in LA for their video.  Phaedra knows there will be a big difference between homegrown booties and home depot remodeled silicone booties.  Their video will take place at a mansion with a view while Kenya is in a studio with Miss Lawrence prepping.  OK, I’m about to get really annoyed with Kenya’s preaching about dropping 20 pounds and really working out.  You did NOT just make a Jessica Rabbit versus Spongebob reference did you?  I’m so done with you woman. On a side note in case you cared, Phaedra decided to go with “Phine Body” for their video name.

I have to say from an actual workout perspective Phaedra really needs to rethink this video.  I love you lady, but this wasn’t your greatest idea.

On Your Knees

RHOA_NeNe_Gregg

Aw…

NeNe and Gregg head out to Il Cielo for dinner and she worries her dress is too short – well… maybe just a smidge.  Gregg worries that her schedule is so busy and but he wants to take a few minutes to tell her how proud he is of her… as her phone vibrates and dings.  Come on woman, take a second for your man, that’s just rude.  HA, how cute is Gregg with the Italian waiter spiking NeNe’s interest.  I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again I love these two together.  He’s on a personal mission to put his family back together so they don’t become a statistic.  Gotta say, that’s a great perspective.  You have to work at it.  Gregg asks NeNe to marry him again and she starts choking on her martini.  Aw, he’d get down on one knee but they don’t have anyone to help pick him up!!  Oh you sweet funny man you!  For real, I love these two and NeNe says “of course”.

Bottom Line:  

Wait, next week is the the season finale??  I missed that much thanks to the real job??  SAY IT ISN’T SO!!  STELLLLLAAAAA!  Sorry, nothing to do with this, just felt like it would work.

photos:  bravo.com
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6 responses to “Real Housewives of Atlanta – Ep 19: Donktabulous!

  1. If the BRAVO producers bring Kenya Moore back for another season, then we are all cray-cray for even watching RHOA. She has single-handidly ruined this series. She’s not ‘entertaining’ to watch but irritating beyond belief. Many of us have stopped watching RHOA because of her. BRAVO had best make sure they keep sharp objects out of her hands because the woman definitely appears unstable, on sooooooooooooooo many levels.

  2. I’m surprised you were so easy on Phaedra and her lime green Teletubby outfit. As much as Kenya annoys, I have to say her video was miles above Phaedra’s and as kray kray as she may be, I’d still take her over the foulness of Kim Zolciak any day. A little freaked out over reports of her and NeNe’s “kiss and make up”. I can only wonder if she isn’t trying to wiggle her way back on RHOA since viewers aren’t just tardy for her show but absent!

    • hairpik69, I literally was at a loss for words over that get-up!! I kept thinking it was a joke. As for Kim, I love that she hates the cameras and wants them away from her yet has another season of Tardy waiting to drain us of IQ points.

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