Real Housewives of Atlanta – Ep 16: Peaches Don’t Grow In Hollywood

One Sentence Summary:  The ladies forget to set their watches to the right time zone when they land in LA.

Our Thoughts: 

NeNe won't mind we're 3 hours late... not when I have this fantastic hat.

NeNe won’t mind we’re 3 hours late… not when I have this fantastic hat.

Melissa:  Oh, it seems like weeks since I’ve seen my ATL ladies… Right, because it has been weeks.  What I can’t wait for tonight is getting a touch of the NeNe of old… Flipping her shit tonight on the other ATL ladies.  Oh man, seriously, I’m wringing my hands with childhood excitement over this girls’ trip.  No, for real I’m like a kid on Christmas morning who has been banking on being good all year to get rewarded under the tree.  Please let her lay into Kenya.

Party Prep

Melissa’s What Happened:  Gregg stocks the wine refrigerator while NeNe thinks through the girls’ trip and the party she’s having for them.  Yes, with a side stop in  Vegas Baby (Sorry, I literally can’t help myself saying it a la Joey Tribbiani).  While finishing up plans, Cynthia calls to tell NeNe she’s packing for the trip and wanted to see how everyone is out there.  While fretting over the whole Kenya / Phaedra drama, NeNe reminds her she has a little splash of crazy and a whole lot of bitch in her – LOVE IT!!  Oh, NeNe, I love your impersonations of Phaedra and Kenya.  That Kenya was spot on with a little twist of Cher – GENIUS!

La-La-Land

Who thinks Cynthia should stick with strips?

Who thinks Cynthia should stick with stripes?

Melissa’s What Happened:  It’s go time. The ladies have landed in LA.  Kenya isn’t going to stress about Phaedra and Porsha… to reduce her chances of getting cancer.  I’m not sure that’s how it’s typically caused, but whatever… it’s Kenya, we’ve learned to roll with the crazy.  The ladies get stuck going up the hill as their car is too big to get up the narrow windy streets and the driver is suggesting they walk… BAHAHAHA.  That was the best laugh I’ve had all day.  NeNe heads down to get the ladies while Kenya thinks she can handle driving the truck up the road.  Kandi needs a nap to destress from the flight.  Anyway, the rental house NeNe got for the ladies is fantastic!  As they ooh and aah all over the place, NeNe shares the evening activities.  She has made plans, completely disregarding the ladies’ cries of exhaustion after the trip and the car drama.

Three hours later Phaedra finally arrives with a terrible headache and is… you guessed it, tired.  Yeah, I see some crankiness happening tonight.  Didn’t anyone think to take a little nap or chug a red bull?  So wait, the ladies think they’re going to roll to NeNe’s at 11 at night?  Come again?  How is that an option?  Didn’t she tell them 9?  I’m so confused as to who in their right mind blows off a dinner for hours then rolls up to the host thinking all is good.

Needless to say, NeNe is less than pleased.  I’m with you NeNe.  That’s just pure shenanigans!!  Yes, they need to exit out and be on their way.  AMEN, I love you, NeNe.  I’m not sure what Kandi is thinking but clearly she’s grown quite a set and asks for a box to go.  Come on!  I can not believe the nerve of Kandi and Kenya looking in the windows of the house waving to everyone inside.  I would have turned the dogs on these ladies.  Granted my dogs would go running tails wagging, but I would pretend like they were mean dogs.  For real, I can’t believe the ladies are cracking jokes about NeNe when they show up 3 hours late for a dinner party.  Who thinks that is appropriate???  Well at least there’s a stop at Fatburger.

Breakfast of Champions

Kenya trying to show Phaedra what she's up against for the Booty video challenge

Kenya trying to show Phaedra what she’s up against for the Booty video challenge

Melissa’s What Happened:  Really is that Kenya making breakfast… “like the help”?  Um, shocked.  While Kenya cooks, she suggests Porsha start on the coffee.  Now this is some genius comedy!  Anyone else cracking up at Porsha trying to make coffee with a Keurig?  Woman please, my 7 year-old-can make himself a drink with the Keurig.  How is it that you can’t manage it?  For the love of all things holy, don’t let your husband persuade you away from a nanny to stay at home with the kids.  They’d be living on twizzlers and drinking from the faucet!  Meanwhile, I’m loving that dress Cynthia is wearing!  The whole crew finally rolls in for breakfast while Porsha is still trying to get the coffee maker to work (head shake / eye roll).  Kenya and Cynthia both remind the ladies that there’s an hour until they leave and they have to be on time the rest of the trip.  They don’t want to be late for Kenya’s day with the Growndlings for an improv class.  Hey, let me check my crystal ball here, Cynthia… yeah, no.  Not going to happen.

Flirting With The Poolboy

What is Cynthia thinking trying to wear polka dots like she's 30?

What is Cynthia thinking trying to wear polka dots like she’s 30?

Melissa’s What Happened:  While the ladies try to get out of the house on time, NeNe is sitting poolside running lines while Gregg does his best attempt at being her poolboy.  Hey, whatever gets your freak flag flying you two… We’re just happy you’re back together.  She hasn’t heard from the ladies yet, and she’s still upset over them showing up at midnight without a single update.  Gregg tries to be the voice of reason that she can’t stay upset as it’s a new day and they have to treat people the right way.  I’m with NeNe on this one.

Improvised Friendships

RHOA_Kenya2

Look at all this fabulousness happening right here.

Melissa’s What Happened:  Upon arrival at the Growndlings improv studio, their coach Jeremy invites them to the stage to find out what acting they’ve done.  Of course Kenya is ready with her 18 years of acting experience and rattles off the multitude of gigs she’s had.  I can’t help but want to imdb her and see if she’s telling the truth, but alas… it’s Kenya and I don’t care that much.  Cynthia shows up Kenya with her small spot on the Cosby show – touché Cynthia!  Jeremy can’t help but notice they are short a lady as NeNe has decided not to be on time – or be on Housewives time.  While Kenya voices over all the people she’s worked with because she needs recognition, the class continues with the ladies taking turns “complimenting” each other.  NeNe strolls in completely confused by their activities and the fact they are all actually there on time.  The ladies try to reprimand NeNe and they wrap up the class as NeNe gets ready to join in the fun – guess not.

Show And Tell

Showing off her trailer for the ladies

Showing off her trailer for the ladies

Melissa’s What Happened:  NeNe straps on her work badge to ride the ladies around the studio and wrecks into a curb.  Driving around she points out the Glee trailers and studio as she steers into a gate barricade.  Yeah, I’m sure she wasn’t TRYING to knock Kenya off the back of the golf cart <wink-wink / nudge-nudge>.  They pass by the “New York” street set on their way to her trailer for The New Normal and get a group photo-op from a random man strolling the lot.

Dinner… Housewives Style

The calm before a RHO dinner

The calm before a RHO dinner

Melissa’s What Happened:  At Crustacean, NeNe hugs up the Guest Services Manager, Walid, while she waits for the ladies.  The crew joins up and they head off to their lovely VIP seating.  Of coure, NeNe reminds them they are late again.  As she orders starters for the ladies, she mentions to Walid that Kenya is single. Men who own restaurants are paid, you know.  Porsha, not drinking, sets the ladies to gossiping about whether she’s trying to conceive or not.  Phaedra thinks she can recognize the actions of woman in mommy mode because she’s trying also.  Amazing detective work, Phaedra.  The ladies start their baby talk.  Kandi shares that the only name she and Todd ever agreed on was Cash, so when Kim tweeted her son was Kash Kade she couldn’t believe it.  Yeah, that’s right… Kim used to be on this show when she thought people cared about what she did with her life.

Porsha, in an attempt to change the subject, asks about the workout videos and sets the ladies into one of the fun uncomfortable awkward conversations we all know and love.  Kenya has decided to go the “Booty Bootcamp” route for her video that she’ll be shooting later the week.  NeNe likes the name.  Phaedra keeps mum about the name of her video… just in case Kenya wants to steal it.

NeNe says she appreciates independent women and Kenya seconds that.  Men try to control women through money.  Kandi asks Porsha if she’s ever felt that way in her marriage.  Man, tonight is the evening of awkward Q&A.  Porsha reminds the ladies the men are the kings of their castle.  When she got married, she wanted to be a housewife and enjoys it.

Kenya decides it’s time to share with the ladies that she and Walter broke up.  You don’t say.  Phaedra isn’t surprised because “you can’t make a whore a Housewife”.  DAMN, Phaedra!  Kenya asks the ladies not to talk about Walter, but Cynthia tells her about Peter’s plans for a men’s thing and good old Walt may have already been invited.  NeNe tells Kenya she liked him.  Kandi tells her Walter was invited to Porsha’s party and attended.   Of course Miss P takes the dig where she can by telling everyone it was a great party and Walter seemed to really enjoy it.  Silence descends upon the table as Kenya takes her leave in tears.  NeNe chases her down while the crew chats about Walter’s friendliness with the ladies.  Kenya doesn’t want to share information with the ladies because they all aren’t her friends.  Yeah, because you’re a bitch to them.

Bottom Line:  

Melissa:  Wow, that was seriously a waste of an episode.  They could have done the whole trip in one.  I hope these ladies can step up Vegas.

Photos:  Bravo.com
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