One Sentence Summary – Asa makes her big debut but someone isn’t invited to the party.
Rachel: It’s the last night of Shahs of Sunset. Why do they only get 10 weeks when we have to put up with twenty-something odd weeks of the Housewives? This seems unfair and certainly unbalanced. But tonight it’s all about Persia-palooza so at least we’re going out with a party. I wonder if they’re going to give out bottles of Diamond Water to all the attendees. I mean it has to be ready to hit the shelves at this point, no? Ooh, what if they made it rain diamond water at Persia-Palooza. That would take “making it rain” to a whole new level. But since I’m so far behind this week (and last week), I’ll just get to the show already.
So That Happened
Back to the peacemaking dinner party, Omid’s dramatic exit and Asa’s whack limit being reached. Asa wants to leave but Reza thinks maybe she should hear GG out first. GG, what say you? Silence and confusion. Seems GG forgot that the entire reason this dinner was called was so she could apologize. Who me, apologize? For what? This girl’s bulb is so dim it’s amazing she’s not a mouth breather. She finally remembers the reason we’re all here in the first place and says that she didn’t want to “violate” Asa, but she’s not sorry for what made her mad in the first place. Collective eye roll. Asa isn’t hearing it because she thinks GG is a bully and not worthy of her friendship. This isn’t an apology as far as Asa (and the rest of the table) is concerned. Well, this is going well. Not sure why anyone thought this dinner was a good idea.
And now we’re having an actual “whack” battle. Asa’s had enough of the whackness coming from GG, which turns into GG throwing gang signs and whickety-whacking in Asa’s face. Is this really happening? Though I will say using the term “whack” is ridiculous… So, with that Asa is out and Lilly goes too. She’s not used to this kind of arguing. Oh right, because you date men that don’t allow you to have a voice with which to argue. Reza tries to explain to GG that you either apologize or you don’t. Half apologies are a waste of time. But nothing gets through to her. Mike tries to break it down in simple digestible terms, but remember: dim bulb. She’s the whackest of the whack. And now Reza is out. He tried to bring peace but says that he couldn’t have crafted a shit show shittier than this show. Couldn’t have said it better myself. And now Mike is out. Great dinner party! Can I get some of the leftovers?
Vida & MJ are off to do their therapy homework assignment by going shopping together. Vida is supposed to leave the criticism at home, but she seems to have forgotten that seeing as how they’re not even out of the car and she’s barking about her daughter’s parking job. Well, this is pleasant. I’d love to lock Vida Loca and GG in a room together and see who makes it out alive. Let’s see if it gets any better at Kitson. I will say she tries to be a good shopping buddy, but let’s remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. MJ had fun so to her it’s a win and that’s what matters.
Movin’ On Up
Lilly goes to visit Asa in Venice for some tea and sympathy. Lilly went back to Texas to spend time with Ali. While there, she realized she didn’t want to be with him anymore. Mazel tov. She tells us that when she was studying for the bar, he took it as a free pass to cheat on her so she doesn’t trust him. And yet you thought it might be good to stay with him after that? Seriously, eleven years with this douche? That’s such a ridiculous waste of time spent on someone that doesn’t respect you. Yeah, it happened 5 years ago, but he’s still treating you like shit. I mean it’s fascinating that she still had to even think about it after he sent his goon to her office. I would have gone full “Sleeping With The Enemy” on his ass after that. Nothing left but a ring in a toilet. Asa tells her that the universe rewards you if you make courageous decisions and she will be rewarded. I sure hope that’s true.
T-Minus 24 Hours
WTF is she wearing? I should stop asking that. It’s a waste of time at this point. Anyway, it’s time for the last rehearsal before Persh-a-Pelooza. Why is it spelled that way now? Isn’t it a “palooza”? Who ever heard of a “pelooza”? Doesn’t sound as fun. Asa’s having issues with timing and choreography so she’s not feeling super confident. Well, I see we’ve made no progress since last week’s less than stellar duet recording. But we all know the magic of reality TV editing, so I have no doubts that she’ll pull it off in the end.
But I Love Her, Ma
Time to drop a bomb on the parents. Mike goes home to tell mom & dad that he’s in love with a shiksa. He wants their blessing so he can take it to the next level. I thought only the Bachelor was allowed to use that stupid saying. Mom says that language and culture differences just add to the strain in a marriage. He has to love her so much that he’s willing to go out of his way to make her happy when these issues come up. But ultimately, mom is happy if he’s happy. Dad isn’t so easily sold. He says that he regrets not spending enough time with Mike as a child. He would like to have a daughter to fill the void of having only boys, but he can’t speak from his heart since his English isn’t great. Um, so maybe buy yourself some Rosetta Stone cds and let your son love who he loves? But Mike knows one day she’ll make a good wife & mother. That’s enough for Dad and he gives his blessing. They just want him to be happy. Well, this was lovely. Two thumbs up over here.
Love Is A Many Splendored Thing
Reza & his boo Adam head to the beach for a picnic. Yes, I just said boo. No, I’m not proud. Reza is trying to make his relationship work by doing things that Adam enjoys. For example, Adam enjoys sea glassing… So Reza will do it with him because it makes him happy. The things white people do for fun. Yeah, this white person has never been and will most likely never go sea glassing. But if it meant someone brought me that picnic, I’d sure consider it. The people on this show eat better than any other people on TV.
Reza wants to know why Adam’s Facebook status says it’s complicated. Adam says it’s because Reza gets weirded out when they talk about their relationship which makes it complicated. Reza is happy though. Adam says he’s happy too, but I think he’s not so much. I think he’s taking what he’s getting because he likes Reza. Reza isn’t even sure he’s ready to “go steady” and Adam is talking marriage… granted, it’s abstractly, but it’s there. Doesn’t seem like an even playing field.
Time to Palooza and Asa is burning some herbs to ward away the evil eye before her performance. These rituals ignite the Persian Pop Priestess. That’s cool. If wafting smoke up your dress gets you off, more power to ya. Triple P rounds up her charms and gets ready to head out to the venue. Doubt is settling in over Asa as the time draws near. But… the smoke…
Meanwhile, Lilly is getting ready as a newly single woman with her team of gay men. I want this team. They’re fabulous. And having someone make-up and dress you is fabulous times 100. MJ is getting ready too with her boyfriend Drizzy. I kinda love that her birthday round-up of single men worked. I think you’re on to something, MJ, which is an improvement from thinking you’re just on something. And he is even getting her to be on time! Wow! GG is even on tonight’s party train. Too bad hers is headed down a different track. She’s ready to leave all the BS behind and have a good time. Yeah, I’m not sure you actually know how to do that. Have a good time that is.
Asa isn’t the only one having a big coming out party tonight. Reza is introducing Adam to the crew. He even tells Adam he loves him on camera. Nice, Reza. Maybe soon Adam can change his Facebook status. Ah, dating in the new millenium.
We get to share a sweet moment with Asa and her mom before the show. She’s scared and she doesn’t want to disappoint her family. I really like her relationship with her mom. Lots of love in the room.
OK, on the marquee it’s Persiapalooza. Can we pick one way to spell it and stick with it? I told you it was a palooza. Wait, why is Asa drinking Smartwater? Where’s the diamond water? Isn’t this diamond water crunch time?
Wait, is GG in the car with the chick she almost beat up in Vegas because she didn’t like her bathing suit? Ah yes, it is Anita. Somehow they’re now BFFs. Ran out of peeps, did ya? GG and her new posse are going to Fashion Minga tonight. To be honest, I thought she was rolling to the palooza. I was very confused for a minute. GG says she’s sad about her isolation from the group. Well I guess you shouldn’t have been an asshole your whole life then. But she’s going to try and grow up. Yeah, I almost believe that.
It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for!!! Triple P takes the stage and she rocks it. Any nerves she had are certainly not visible. Go girl. I’m actually super happy to see her to nail it. She is the Persian Pop Priestess, after all. OK, well, the duet part was a bit off but she’s still my girl. And for a first show, it’s a pretty amazing accomplishment.
Time for the after-party in Asa’s trailer and our parting thoughts from the cast. I love that Lilly says that different is beautiful. The girl that has plastic surgery to make herself look like Barbie thinks that different is beautiful? Come on. MJ is feeling good that they’re all working their way back from their hellish summer. They’re growing up. And Mike feels like he’s in the best place of his life. Reza is happy they’re a family again. Everyone is feeling love. Everyone but GG who is in Siberia… but at least she has Omid. Oh wait… And it all ends with a food fight. Yes, so grown up.
Rachel: So sad my Reza is leaving me again. And so mad that I’ve been in LA for 10 days now and haven’t had a single moment to try and stalk my new BFF. Damned real job. But maybe now that they’re getting a reunion, they’ll also get more than 10 episodes. Can we bring back Gallery Girls now?