One Sentence Summary – Reza begins the Jewish New Year with his family and has an unexpected moment.
Rachel: Look at me all caught up and watching my Shahs live. Well, on a little delay. Had to watch some football and see which AFC team I was going to be rooting against. That would be the Ravens. Go Niners! But being that this isn’t a sports blog, I’m sure the care factor on that information is about zero. So, sorry for the tangent. Let’s get back to matters at hand. Tonight, we get to go home with Reza and celebrate the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah. I’m excited for so many reasons. One, it’ll be nice to see the Rosh represented on TV. Two, I am happy to see my BFF Reza mending fencing with his dad. For real, that makes me happy. And finally, I love that his friends are going with him. Such an amazing testament to the real bond they all have. I just hope it goes well and his grandmother doesn’t do more damage to their relationship.
Testing The Waters
Reza is getting ready for his trip to New York for Rosh Hashanah. He’s excited about his new adult relationship with his father, but nervous about seeing his grandmother. Even dad isn’t a huge fan as he tells Reza that he gets depressed whenever she’s around her. Sounds like gram is about as warm as a winter’s day in The North Pole. Hopefully she’ll defrost enough for Reza & his father to enjoy the holiday together. I guess we should just be happy that he’s not going for Yom Kippur and dealing with her after 24 hours of not eating. Yikes. That’s gotta be unpleasant.
Oh boy, we’re back to diamond water. Asa is visiting a jeweler to look at diamonds, because, she tells us… Hold on, let me get this right… “Diamond’s vibrational energy is the original energy of the creation of the world.” Yes, that is correct. I have no idea what it means, but it sounds pretty good to me. I’m all for diamonds. I could use some vibrational energy. wink wink. So if anyone wants to gift me one, I’m not going to be opposed. Just putting it out there.
Anywho, Asa tells the jeweler that she is looking for a big diamond for her diamond & love energy infused water. His reaction, like everyone’s before him, is a big smile that is a cover for restraining laughter. You know he’s thinking to himself, don’t laugh. She’s going to buy a big diamond. Who cares if she’s going to run water over it. Do. Not. Laugh.
He takes her back into the VIP room where he will show her the large loose diamonds. As Asa starts communing with the diamonds to find the one that speaks to her, our jeweler friend further suppresses his laughter. Yes, it’s that obvious. I’d be cracking jokes just to give myself an excuse to laugh. He places a 9-carat diamond on her hand and she’s feeling it. That’s because a big diamond has more power than a bunch of smaller diamonds since they charge carbon organisms and we’re made of carbon. Therefore, diamonds charge people. I know they charge me up. And all this time, I just thought it was because they were pretty. This is a great way to con a guy into a bigger diamond. If you loved me, you’d buy me a bigger diamond. Don’t you want my energy levels to stay charged?
After testing the 9-carat diamond with her third-eye chakra, she comes to the conclusion that this is the diamond for her. I think that’s the diamond for everyone pretty much. Now, on to that little matter of price. She has a budget of about $60k and she’s holding a diamond worth $325k. Yeah, I don’t think that there’s any negotiation tactic in the world to make that number work. Neither does our friend, the jeweler. He shows her a 5-carat diamond that is in her budget and Asa near pees herself. The energy of this diamond is amazing. And by energy, you mean cost. Crazy how that works. I mean crazy how that energy is shooting up your arm into your heart and head. Oh hold the phone, this diamond is actually $85k. Didn’t she just tell you her budget? And didn’t you then hand her that diamond? But I give you a tip o’ the hat, salesman. It’s kind of hard, after that dramatic reaction from Asa, for her to choose another diamond. I mean this one is shooting energy up her hand. I’m thinking unless a smaller diamond can shoot energy to her hooha, this is the winner and she’ll be begging her investors for the extra cash. With the “family” discount, the stone will cost $75k. She says her partners will be in touch and send him the payment. Who the hell are these partners and can they give me a call? I’ve got a couple of fancy ideas running around the ol’ noggin I’d like to fly by them.
The Cost To Be The Boss
MJ and GG are taking their dogs for a walk and I have a feeling the little matter of a drunken text is going to come up. And it does. Immediately. GG feels like MJ is playing both sides of the fence and it needs to be discussed. Uh, ya think? This is not new news. She just got sloppy about it this time around. Well, sloppier. MJ says that the whole situation in Cabo made her understand more where GG was coming from because Asa just sets her off the way she sets GG off. This is how you’re playing it? Well, GG ain’t buying it. She just wants to know who she’s friends with, period. Don’t BS her. And for once, I’m feeling GG.
How will MJ spin this one… Ah yes, let’s throw it back on GG. That should work well. Let’s tell her that if MJ has to choose, she chooses Asa & Reza, because it’s GG’s choices that have cost MJ everything. Whoa. Let me hit pause here because I have a feeling there is going to be an explosion grande coming up and I need to top off my wine. Yeah, last I checked, friends don’t choose sides. Friends stay Switzerland. OK, I’m ready. What say you GG? Well, this is shocking news, friends. She is actually so stunned by this that she says nothing…. which keeps MJ rolling with her story of caring so much for GG that it’s f**king everything up in her own life.
Side bar: Anyone else think MJ is fully slurring her words here? Am I hearing things because the pill accusation is out there or is the pill accusation out there and now I’m understanding what I’m hearing?
Sorry, back to the situation at hand. MJ is the last bridge GG has so she should probably recognize that. Right now, GG just needs to walk it off. Well, that was much quieter than I had expected. Makes me think there is a storm a-brewing.
Shiny Happy People
Mike stops by his brother’s dental office for a free teeth-whitening session. Dude, if your teeth get any whiter, they’re going to glow. Anyone else having visions of Ross on Friends? But the real issue here is Mike bringing his non-Persian, non-Jewish girlfriend home for the holidays. His brother thinks it’ll be a small hurdle to jump. On second thought, it’s less a small hurdle and more a giant chasm. Bring on the Manischewitz!
And we’re back at Unix Packaging to meet Shawn and further discuss Diamond Water. Asa shows up with her rug and is ready to shine some love energy on the water. She is shown to the area where her diamond lives under a tank of 150,000 gallons of water. I hope they have some serious security around that puppy. This is where she will sit and bless the water with her energy. So, how long does she have to sit there? And who’s blessing the water when she’s not around? I mean aren’t they going to be making water all day & night if it’s being sold on a mass level? I mean look, if she can sell this and make herself some money, I’m all for it. I say let your freak flag fly and may it bring you a windfall. Prove all of us snickering behind your back wrong. I’ll eat crow if this is a raging success. Hell, I hope it is. I like my Triple P.
Time for Mike’s girlfriend, Jessica, to meet the parents and have some Shabbat dinner. Things seem to be going rather well right off the bat, but dinner is awfully quiet. She looks scared to death. Then begins the interrogation by mom. How did you meet? Do you work? Oh you’re in school? Is it a good school? Will you have a good job after school? Man, I love a Jewish mom. They don’t mess. But I think Jessica passed the first round, which is good because they seem like a cute couple.
Left to Louboutin
The crew lands in NY and Reza insists they hit the city for some shopping at Louboutin before they head out to Long Island. Needless to say, they can’t seem to find it. Doesn’t anyone have Google Maps on their phone? Even the tragic Apple Maps would probably work better than this. People, the streets are numbered. How hard can this be?
Do You Like Me Back?
OK, Omid’s house is bananas. I know I’ve said this before. I’ll say it every time I see it. GG stops by for a little hang time. I have to say it’s very cute to watch the two of them flirt and squirm and be uncomfortable around each other. She has so much potential to be a great girl. Too bad she is light years from realizing it. But watching them is like watching two kids in the sandbox, except in this case its a pool. I’m waiting for him to splash her to let her know he’s interested. Granted, I’m pretty sure the two of them have already done the horizontal hula, so I’m not sure where the shyness is suddenly coming from. Oh right, first comes sex, then comes dating… I forget sometimes.
Great Neck Lunching
I’m not sure what happened with the shoes, but Reza and the kids finally make it to Great Neck. Reza lets them loose on the town while he meets his father for some quality time. Reza asks his dad if he’s seeing someone. Seems dad was seeing someone just for sex. HA! Imaginary high-five with dad! Look, I’m alone in my room. I need my imaginary high-fives.
Reza asks his dad about his grandmother’s family. Dad says he doesn’t know much but they ruined his life. Yikes, that’s no joke. Reza heard that a rumor drove his grandparents to divorce. Reza’s father says his mother abandoned them when he was 8 and he cried all the time because he didn’t have a mother. Reza wonders if he’s ever discussed it with his mother, because back then in Tehran, men could do no wrong, so maybe there is more to the story. But his dad has never and will never. It is shameful. Oh this is making me sad. I want to give Reza’s dad a big hug. How rough to think your mother abandoned you?
Reza’s dad wonders if Reza can ever forgive him for leaving the house. Reza says yes, he forgives him, and it is a really emotional moment that leaves both men in tears. And maybe someone in this house is in tears too. Maybe. Reza’s dad says Reza is the only thing he has in the world. Aw, so sweet. I’m seriously so happy to see this bonding between the two of them. This is what the new year is about.
How To Lose A Guy In Ten Minutes
Oh Lilly, please stop whining. It’s horribly annoying. Anyway, Lilly has been set up on a blind date since she and her on-again-off-again boyfriend Ali are allowed to see other people. So she’s called on her glam squad to help her get ready. And by help, I mean paint her like Baby Jane. How do women walk around with all that make-up on their faces and not want to claw at themselves all night?
Lilly meets her date Hadi and he has flowers for her. Well played, sir. He’s shocked that she’s single, impressed by how hard she works and totally put off by the fact that she talks to her ex every single day. Yeah, you might have wanted to keep that little nugget of info to yourself there, sweetie. The only thing that reeks more than a woman not over her ex is desperation. Actually, right now that might reek less seeing as how you insist on talking incessantly about your ex and your love for him. Well that and how you wish he were actually on the date with you. Hadi’s had enough. In fact, he’s so had enough that he pulls out his phone mid-entree and starts texting. He’s probably texting whomever set them up on this date to let them know they are fired from ever setting anyone up again. Lilly tells him it’s rude to pull your phone out at dinner. He agrees and says that talking about her ex for 15 minutes straight would be more fun. Ba-zing! She’s so dumb that she agrees. Actually, I can tell if it’s that she’s so dumb or just that self-absorbed. Both? I don’t think we need to see the end of this date to find out if he asks her out again.
A Very Happy New Year
It’s the day of Rosh Hashanah and the crew is powwowing in the hotel about Reza’s family and the divorce of his grandparents. Reza is seeing for the first time the pain that his grandmother has experienced in her life and realizing that he needs to feel compassion toward her, not anger. Very mature to let go of harboring grudges over all the pain she has caused his family. That’s not pain from a little misunderstanding. That’s pain from a lot of harmful behavior. So, to let it go, is major. Major kudos to you, Reza. You’re a better person than I could be in this situation. I’m happy to see his friends there to support him in this moment.
Time for dinner and the group shows up with gifts galore. Everyone is sharing and laughing and getting to know each other. Everyone except Reza’s grandmother who is sitting alone in the kitchen. Wow, that’s such a sad sight. Reza mans up and goes in to see her. She is excited to see him and demands kisses. Reza doesn’t know what happened since the last time he saw her, but he is excited to meet this new warm & loving grandmother. She tells Reza she would die for him as they toast to a happy new year. It’s a beautiful moment and a wonderful night for Reza. I’m a little misty, but it does my heart good. L’Shana Tova!
Rachel: I really enjoyed watching tonight’s episode with Reza and his family. It’s rare to get real moments on reality TV that touch your heart in a real way. So thank you, Reza, for sharing that with us.