One Sentence Summary: The ladies are back to face the music being sung in the key of Andy Cohen.
Rachel: OK, the quest to try and catch up on everything we missed last week continues with my quick overview of the RHONY Reunion Part 2. I have to admit that I’m watching all these shows with the “I’d rather be in Paris” filter. Yes, the hangover from vacation is still present and will probably remain in effect for quite some time. Just fair warning. So when I can’t seem to muster up the energy to make yet another crack on Aviva’s neuroses, you’ll know it’s because I’m dreaming of unpasteurized cheese. And with that…
We start out with a little Yo Ho Ho in the form of Tomas and his pirate booty. Oh, I can’t wait to hear Luann spin this one. Seems she & Jacques made it through and are still together though he declined to be on the show tonight. I don’t blame him. Who wants to defend that? Luann says nothing happened other than her getting a ride home from Tomas. Well, that may be true. I guess it just depends on your definition of getting a “ride”. Andy isn’t really buying her story but she’s sticking to it. Ramona says that Luann loves her men and she doesn’t do open relationships. Uh, if you’re going to go there, Ramona, you’re going to have to defend it. But in true Ramona fashion, she drops a bomb and then wants the subject changed. Bottom line though is that Luann lied and she’s been spending her time crawling her way out.
And in other news of the horny, time to revisit Sonja’s sexcapades. Seems she is fessing up to taking a spin on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Andy wants to know if the “backdoor entry” accusations are true. Sonja pretends to not know what the means and talks about a walk in the garden. Wow, the room if rife with innuendo. Let’s just ask a question straight up, why don’t we? But Sonja’s not giving it up… for a change. Oh and here’s the question we’ve all been waiting for… Why does Aviva care so much about Sonja’s sex life, especially in light of her father’s behavior? Yes, please tell us, Aviva. She says she doesn’t care. Andy corrects her. She says it was because she had a different idea of a girls’ trip. Yeah no, you were just being a self-righteous bitch. Sorry. Then Andy tries to get Ramonja to admit to girl love. Oh come on, there’s enough to be salacious about without going there…
… like Granpappy Perv. Ack, do we have to relive this nightmare? Apparently,
we do. Aviva says, that while her father might be inappropriate, he is kind. So, when she calls Sonja low-class it’s about how she treats other people. This woman needs to buy a dictionary. Carole says that George breaks all the rules of widow/widower dating. I think George breaks any and all rules of dating period. And taste. Asked again about her two sets of standards, Aviva gives us yet another BS story about why she’s a hypocrite. OK, that was my word, not hers. Let’s all be honest here. She hates her dad’s behavior as much as she hates it on Sonja, but she can take it out on Sonja in a way she can’t with her dad, so Sonja becomes the brunt of her hostility. That’s $100 for the therapy session. I take cash only.
Time for Toastergate… I love that Sonja just pulled a posterboard out with her name with an underlined “j”. I mean really? That’s ridiculous. And it’s insulting. Thank you, Andy, for trying to explain that to her, but I’m guessing you’re wasting your breath. Yep, you are. Did she really just say the toaster oven doesn’t fit in the box? It’s a prototype, you jack-ass. You deal with that when you mock it up for the printer. Well, we can’t really expect Sonja to suddenly become a businesswoman – whether or not she likes to play one on TV.
As for Sonja’s finances, she is selling the home in France and filed Chapter 11 to give herself some time to pay off the $7MM judgement against her. I still can’t wrap my head around what it must feel like to be in debt that much money to someone. She is also now speaking to her ex… though we don’t really know what that means. She’s a bit of a loon, but I do feel sympathy for her situation.
And now we revisit the demise of the Aviva-Ramona alliance. Just watching it again makes me think what a Fruit Loop Aviva is. She really lives in an ivory tower and expects that the world will kowtow to her, her neuroses and her leg. If you don’t want to be treated differently Aviva, then stop singling yourself out as different and superior and smarter… You get the point. Basically just STFU. And really Andy Cohen? Are you really going to defend Granpappy Perv? He was out of line at Ramona’s charity. He had no business being there. And there is zero way he showed up simply out of the goodness of his heart. I seriously can’t stand, Aviva. Cannot stand her… as she now explains that her mother died of alcoholism. So again, your issues with your family are being taken out on the women. Good lord woman, check yourself into long-term therapy and leave everyone alone. Have I mentioned that I can’t stand her?
And with that, Andy asks the other women if they think Ramona has a drinking problem. What Ramona has is an Andy problem. She is sick of the same line of questioning every year and would like him to find a new topic to pick on her with. Go Ramona… Did I just say that? It is getting old. But for the record, the girls don’t think she has a problem.
Random questions: Yes, Sonja needs interns. I have to work on getting myself a few of those. Would it be creepy if I trolled a college campus… Yeah, don’t answer that. Yes, Carole dated George Clooney. I’m assuming it was before the lip blow-up. Gawd, that is terrible looking. Aviva was a run-away bride. That is true. And it has nothing to do with a pre-nup.
Time for Andy to try and broker a kumbaya moment. Haven’t I made everyone feel better about their issues coming in? He gets silence and a no from Ramona. Well, there’s that. Not that the VP of Bravo has to worry about them feeling better about their situation, you know, since he is the one actually in control of their situation. Just ask Jill Zarin…
Rachel: Well, that was rather tame when you consider what went down in New Jersey. Still can’t stand Aviva. But I’ll miss their crazy. And let’s just say I’m super pissed that I missed the WWHL with Jill Zarin. Anyone see it? Worth finding online?