America’s Next Top Model Season 19, Episode 8 – The Girl Who Comes Back

Another arresting episode of ANTM.

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  Somehow I missed two Fridays being in Paris but only one episode of ANTM.  That’s so sweet of Tyra to skip a week for me so that I wouldn’t be too far behind.  Granted, I’m still playing catch-up and battling jet lag, but I won’t complain.  That would be tacky.  Anyone who complains about the after-effects of a fabulous vacation deserves a little bit of a bitch slap.  I’m sure Kristin would agree with me.  I’m just sayin… Speaking of which, I feel like my foggy memory remembers something about her losing her shit this week, no?  Was that really in the previews or am I just wishful thinking?  Well, only one way to find out…

Laura is trying to recover from the shock of free-falling from best picture to bottom two.  She just has to suck it up and make her parents proud.  Brittany also is looking to make family proud after she gets a letter of support from her little sister.  Good lord, I hope that no mail came for Victoria from her mom or we’re in for a serious breakdown.  So far so good.  In the meantime, the girls discuss which of the eliminated models will be coming back.  Using my powers of deduction and putting this scene together with the fact that this episode is called “The Girl That Comes Back”, I’m going to guess that the eliminated girl is going to come back tonight.  Yeah, I know.  I missed my calling to be a private detective.  But hey, look who benefits from that… you.  Consider it my gift to you.  You’re welcome.  Anyway, they think it’s either Alyssa or Leila.  My vote is for Leila.

Oh, there she is!  Our resident nutter, Victoria, makes an appearance at the dinner table.  Now, will she actually eat anything?  Oh look, she is eating!  As Brittany tries to explain their concern and Victoria tries to play it off as stress, Kristin full-on calls her unstable.  Ha ha!  I knew it was coming!  Yeah, Victoria doesn’t take to kindly to that.  You know, I don’t know why the girls think attacking her as a group is going to be helpful at all.  And when she asks them to stop because she can’t handle the mob mentality, Kristin strikes again.  See, told you that you couldn’t handle it.  Beatch.  Kiara is next to bring the criticism and make sure to praise herself for wanting to help Victoria.  And Brittany asks if what she has is contagious.  Are these girls complete and utter morons.  I feel badly for Victoria.  Yeah, she’s a bit of a banana, but none of it is malicious.  So I’m not sure how any of this is helpful… Oh right, they’re not actually thinking about Victoria’s well-being.   Got it.

And it’s time for this week’s “Bang For Your Buck” challenge.  Victoria thinks it has to do with guns.  Uh no, it’s go-sees.  Good guess though.  The girls will visit 5 designers:  Guess, Whitney Port, Cecilia Cassini, I Heart Ronson & Lulu Guinness.  Each designer can only book one girl but the girls can book more than one job.  The winner is the girl that books the most jobs.  Please don’t let it be Kristin.  I have to say, I’m secretly rooting for Victoria now.  And by secret, I mean out loud.  The girls have to go in pairs – Brittany & Kristin, Laura & Nastasia and Victoria & Kiara.  Oy vey.  That won’t go well.  And it doesn’t.  Victoria feels like Kiara is steamrolling her so she tries to steamroll back and comes off looking like a bit of an overeager beaver.  And no, that’s not a good thing… unless you’re in a lesbian bar.  Bam!  Yeah, I went there.  Sorry.  {{{ hangs head in shame }}}  Wait wait wait… this Cecilia designer is 13?  And she actually designs the clothes?  It’s not a Milli Vanilli operation?  Damn do I feel like an underachiever right about now.  And I’m not even going to comment about

Aw Lawd, how long do I have to stand here watching her cry?

Brittany thinking she doesn’t have to pay for parking because the sign says “1 hr parking”.  Does she live in an amish town where there are no parking meters?

So begins the rush for the girls to get back to Bigbox studios before time runs out.  We all know what happens when time runs out.  This means Laura & Nastasia won’t make it to Guess.  Guess is Laura’s absolute favorite and not making it brings her to tears.  I’m over here rolling my eyes so hard I almost fell of my bed.  Oh yeah, I’m full-on horizontal in bed watching & typing.  Nothing’s too lazy for me.  But since this is her only shot at making an appearance at Guess, she’s going anyhow.  This is with 14 minutes left.  And yet, they manage to get back to Bigbox with seconds to spare.  So either Guess is next door or they have a magic time machine.

Time for the results – Kristin is beautiful but a little uptight & stiff.  Ha.  Brittany has great energy but her modeling skills are not as strong as they could be.  Laura was loved by all but her walk is a bit stiff.  Nastasia loved her photographs but not so much in person.  Kiara’s personality was loved universally but her walk needs to evolve.  And Victoria has good manners but isn’t girl-next-door enough.  But hey, everyone loves a model with good manners!

And the bookings:

  • Cecilia Cassini – Kiara
  • Lulu Guinness – Nastasia
  • I Heart Ronson – Kristin
  • Whitney Port – Laura
  • Guess – Laura

So, not only does Laura book her beloved Guess, she also wins the challenge.  Guess the gamble paid off.  Gotta get myself one of those time machines.  That also means Brittany & Victoria booked no jobs.  Now it’s tears time again from Brittany and Bitter Betty time from Victoria who has no interest in listening to the girls yak over dinner.  Ack, it’s P’Trique again.  He has to be the first to go next season.

The girls get home and their social media scores are waiting for them from the challenge.  Interestingly, it’s Brittany, Kristin & Nastasia bringing up the rear.  Victoria is only .2 points away from being tied with top scorers Kiara & Laura.  Hmm… that won’t make a certain blonde happy.  However, it makes me giggly.  Oh wait, it’s actually Laura that’s now in Kristin’s crosshairs.  How quickly the friendships dissolve…

Time for the photo shoot, which is happening in a prison.  They are put through the booking process, which is hilarious.  Oh sorry, this is serious.  College kids are arrested every year for crimes including shoplifting, DUIs, drugs and assaults.  But let’s not give that more than a moment’s thought.  We have a glamorous mug shot to shoot with photographer Mark “The Cobra Snake” Hunter.  That’s quite the outfit Cobra Snake.

But let’s shoot some photos… Well, first let’s hear about Kiara’s arrest for shoplifting when she was 18.  OK, now let’s shoot some photos.  Was I supposed to be more sympathetic?  Probably, but I’m too tired right now and Victoria is doing one of her personalities, which cracks me up on a weekly basis.  Laura has a great shoot, Kristin loses her eyes and Brittany needs more edge.  Nastasia brings some long legs which makes Johnny happy.  Kiara is holding back until Johnny pushes her and she lets loose with a stream of curse words.  Nice.

Panel time!  OK, did the models decide to dress alike each week?  What’s up with that?  Anyway, Kristin’s up first – The panel loves the shot and Rob thinks it’s the most high-fashion of all her shots.  Tyra needs more H to T.  Social media is digging her too.  Score: 24.  Nastasia – The eyes are rolling on this shot and Tyra’s the only one liking it.  Bryanboy says people aren’t responding well.  Score: 22.  Victoria – Kelly thinks it’s acting not modeling.  Tyra likes that she went out of the box but she needs more eye spark.  The fans aren’t happy either.  Victoria blames it on the personal attacks at home.  Kelly bawls out the other girls for not focusing on themselves and recognizing that Victoria comes from home-schooling.  Go Kelly Go!  Score: 21.  Kiara – Kelly says she looks old.  Rob says it demands attention.  Bryanboy loves her but social media still does not.  Score: 23.  Brittany – Rob thinks it falls short.  Kelly doesn’t love it.  Bryanboy says the fans are carrying her on. Tyra gives her a 7 based on her body of work.  Huh?  Are we judging as a collective now?  Score: 18.  Yipes.  Laura – Kelly says it’s bad ass and she pops on film.  Bryanboy says everyone loves her, but he doesn’t get it.  Kelly calls him out for being rude.  Kelly’s my girl tonight!  Tyra says it’s because she comes to panel with foundation & eye liner which makes her look commercial.  Interesting.  Score:  27.

Best Photo

Best Photo:  Laura – She accepts sans make-up and gets a big compliments from Tyra

Safe:  Kristin, Kiara, Nastasia

Bottom Two:  Victoria & Brittany – Amazingly, Victoria stays.  Ooh and there are some pissed-off girls waiting in the wings.  Nastasia looks about to haul off and punch a girl.

But let’s not forget the title of this show… That’s right, we still have to bring someone back.  And if it’s Brittany, this will be the most anticlimactic season-long set-up ever.  And in walk the eliminated girls.  OK, why is Nastasia over in the corner having a full-on meltdown?  And did they really just leave us hanging??? That’s way not cool.

The might-be-agains.

Bottom Line: Well, I tried to see if there was a slip-up in the previews and there was not.  Well played editors.  Well played.  They really should have titled this episode “The Girl That Came Back But You Won’t Know Who Til Next Week Because You’re Suckers”.  Just sayin…


3 responses to “America’s Next Top Model Season 19, Episode 8 – The Girl Who Comes Back

  1. Kiara’s breakdown was embarrassing to watch. I mean seriously? Shoplifting? Maybe freak out if you did some time but that’s ridiculous. And Victoria — I’m kind of rooting for her too. I had been liking Brittany but her “contagious” comment made me want to smack her. In the end, I’m hoping Leila comes back and kills it.

  2. And you know — I was kind of pissed that they tell some girls they had a good shoot and got some great pics (like they told Victoria at the end of hers) and then the one they choose is hideous.

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