One Sentence Summary: Art Basel wraps up with some successes and some epic attitudes.
Rachel: The assault on South Florida continues tonight with the controversial pop-up gallery event for End of Century. While it doesn’t look promising on the previews, I am still hoping that the event ends up being a raging success, simply because I want Chantal to be proven wrong. I want Chantal to be proven wrong about pretty much everything. Seriously, everything – from what is the best business decision to how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. I just find her whole essence to be so sanctimonious that I want to ram every peg she gets taken down straight down her throat. Ahem. Sorry, that was probably a bit over the top, but I can’t help it. She’s just so infuriating. But yet, I watch… So here’s the skinny.
The Brooklyn girls regroup post-breakfast and Angela tells them how she asked a woman to spell her last name at a party she photographed the night before. Turns out she was a fourth generation Fendi and was incensed that Angela didn’t know how to spell it. Yeah, she’d have been more incensed when her name ended up misspelled because it’s the one brand Angela hasn’t yet stolen from Barney’s. But who cares about you Angela, Chantal would like to discuss the impending failure of their event. They don’t know how they’re going to show Angela’s work so they should probably cancel it. She’s just about convinced Claudia when Amy calls & says that she has a tent, lights and a wall for Angela’s photographs being built for their event. Muhahaha… Chantal is overruled. Seems Miss Silver Spoon is willing to invest her own (aka: daddy’s) money to show herself off as an event planner. That’s not a terrible idea actually… I just hope she picked the right girls to invest in…
Maggie & Liz attend the Rubel Family event. They are one of the only other major art collectors in Miami besides Liz’s father. As they look at a display of basketballs floating in water – more art I just don’t get – in walk Claudia & Chantal. Liz is annoyed but takes the high road and approaches the girls. She invites them to a get-together she’s having as a way to lessen the uncomfortable tension between them. Claudia accepts the olive branch even though the venue is not “her scene”. Honey, you don’t have a scene.
Time to head out into the night, but first Chantal needs to torture her boyfriend Spencer some more. She tells him she’s been flirting for free drinks, and probably while not wearing any underwear. So, he’s flying down and wants to know where she’ll be so they can meet up. She’s not interested in giving him that information and hangs up on him. She’s a real charmer that one. Spencer needs a good smack in his reality check. I hope he doesn’t bother to get on the plane. That would be awesome. But we know she has his balls in a jar next to her bed, so he’s getting on the plane.
Liz, apparently a Miami gangsta as she tells us, rolls into Mokai with her, um, posse. Yeah, I don’t think gangstas carry clutch purses and drink through cocktail straws. But hey, what do I know. The gangsta girls – Maggie, Kerri & Liz – discuss
the “hipster girls” and their lack of manners as they come parading through the door. Liz says to Chantal & Claudia that they need to address the tension between them. Chantal basically doesn’t understand what’s going on. Yeah, it’s hard to figure things out when you live with your head up your ass. Liz says she tried enough times to be nice to them, even wanting to buy something at their opening, but she is done because they were rude to her. They tell her that they were crying most of the night at their opening (you admit that out loud?), but Chantal does apologize for making her feel that way. Wow, let’s take a moment to appreciate that small showing of humanity. And now we’re all good and can party in harmony. Oh sorry, party gangsta style.
All is fun and games until the subject of a $300 bottle of vodka comes up. Just the thought of $300 propels Chantal, Angela & Claudia straight out of the door. Meanwhile, Maggie’s boyfriend Ryan and his friends start acting like drunken frat boys, which displeases Liz. She doesn’t understand why no one can hold their alcohol… you know, like she, the recovering addict, can. She tells Ryan that they need to tip the waitress, grabs Bobby and leaves before the shenanigans get to be too much. Maggie, who is usually the one stuck to the couch, is actually dancing and having a good time. Who knew? Well, that is until Ryan’s friend Bobby (The Other Bobby or TOB) gets escorted from the joint screaming and cursing the whole way. Ah yes, it’s hard out there for a pimp.
The next morning we find Chantal and Spencer in her hotel room. I really just want to smack him so badly. He’s such a… sorry to use the word… pussy. He really is. It’s so wholly unattractive. But it’s the day of the pop-up so we need to hear yet again how she is not interested in doing the show. And if it fails then it’s Claudia’s fault. Spencer agrees, as if there was any doubt he’d do anything otherwise. Yeah yeah yeah, we get it.
Maggie & Liz are back working at the Eli Klein exhibit post-Mokai. Maggie tells Liz that they forgot to tip the waitress which mortifies Liz. Yeah, well, I’d be mortified too. I also probably would have collected money before I left and made sure she was tipped since my name was on the tab.
During their lunch break, Liz gets a text about TOB getting thrown out of the club. And the mortification grows. Liz doesn’t understand why Ryan would bring someone like that. Neither does Maggie and that’s why they’re in a fight. Ah, yes, because Ryan knew his friend would get wasted and kicked out. You should be more upset about the no tip, quite frankly. That’s beyond not ok. But no, Liz is off on a tirade about how TOB is a “commoner” and is ugly. Really? We still use words like “commoner”? Who knew. Maggie thinks she’s overreacting, especially considering her past. Yeah, well in case you haven’t been paying attention, Liz lives in her own world where she is perfect and everyone else is a mess. The drama continues back at the gallery to the point where Liz won’t hug her Bobby good-bye because that might interrupt her self-righteous anger. What did your boyfriend do wrong? Well, besides think you were a nice person.
Amy is over at Cafeina setting up the End of Century pop-up… alone. Nice of the girls to show up and help. Angela finally shows up and is in awe of what Amy has been able to accomplish. Well, except for the tent. She’s not a fan. Claudia & Chantal also finally show up and are not fans of the tent either. Ever hear the saying “beggars can’t be choosers”? Well, now’s a good time to get acquainted. Angela is excited though, because selling her art at Art Basel will make her a legitimate photographer. I thought you were done being a photographer? Isn’t that dream so 5 minutes ago? Claudia is nervous about the event because she’s pretty sure she’s getting a bucket of pig’s blood over the head from Chantal if it’s a failure. Yeah, that might happen. I’d be nervous too.
Kerri is helping at the 400 Event with Mr. Brainwash. He’s an artist that uses pop culture elements in his work that apparently make people happy when they see it. OK… if you say so.
And so it begins… Time to bring End of Century into the new century. But so far
no one’s coming. It’s crickets. And of course, Chantal is popping off about how she was right about the event… AGAIN. Someone shove an olive down her throat. Amy, not about to let her first event be a flop, hits the streets to start recruiting. People start showing up, but they’re wearing flip flops, which is somehow a bad sign to Claudia. Honey, you’re in Miami. That’s the only thing men wear down here. Jane Holzer comes in and buys a few items from the girls, compliments Amy’s ability to throw this together so quickly and even compliments Angela’s photography. Angela didn’t sell any work, but this was really just a night for her to introduce her aesthetic and to get her work out there. Wait, I thought it was about you selling something to legitimize yourself. This girl is a banana. And could someone tell Amy to stop shopping in Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter’s closet? But the evening is a success and I cannot wait to hear Chantal backpedal on this one.
At the Mr. Brainwash event, the girls celebrate a successful night and Claudia is on a mission to find some cute guys. She and Angela make their way through the crowd and through the men because Angela needs to be kissed tonight. Ah, youth. Nothing says fun like random lip. Those were the days. But Angela’s superiority complex – her words/my agreement – keep her from finding any proper suitors. Personally, I think it’s the Mrs. Roper caftan and Mr. Magoo glasses, but what do I know about being hip? Meanwhile, Amy is still trying to find ways to suck up to Liz and tonight it’s by complimenting her boobs. Swing and a miss. But Amy thinks that Liz is just being nice to her because she’s mad at Maggie. That’s being nice? You gotta raise your standards, babe. But all is not lost in the Art Basel world, Angela has met a man with washboard abs and they saunter off into the humid night arm in arm. Le sigh…
The next morning, we get to hang with Maggie, her boyfriend & her boyfriend’s tattoo of Louisiana on his side while they talk about whether New York or Florida has more trees. Stimulating. Liz & Bobby show up but Liz has nothing to say to Maggie. She proceeds to suntan with the most hilarious pursed lips – bad attitude I have ever seen. Why the drama, Liz? Bobby doesn’t help anything by bringing up the other night and asking Ryan if his boy was still in town. Ryan says he came straight from the plane with no food and the booze went to his head. Liz lets him know that she’s in “a lot of trouble” because of it. Really, Liz? How much “trouble” are you actually in? I’m going to go with none. You’re embarrassed, sure. But trouble? Come on. Ryan says all he can do is apologize, but he’s not responsible for his friend’s behavior. Well that’s true. Liz suggests he go back and tip the waitress, which should have been a no brainer for all of them. He says he will, but she still has to prattle on about class and behavior. OK, mom, we get it. Ryan has ruined your time and he is just using Maggie. Jesus, this girl is a pill. Why do men date women like that? Seriously.
Over at the Brooklyn girls’ hotel, Angela, Chantal and Spencer are all in bed together doing I don’t even want to know what under the sheets. Seems Spencer likes Angela because of his Asian fetish and Angela likes Chantal because… well, Chantal says so. These people confuse me. And I’m going to wager a solid $10 that nothing actually happened under those covers that would warrant more than PG rating. Yep, $10. I’m gangsta too. Don’t get it twisted.
Time to check in with Amy… Dad would like a few minutes with his daughter. He tells her that they have sold the New York apartment and she’s going to have to move… in two weeks. He is concerned about what she’s going to do with her life. She says they will need to sit down and talk about it. Uh, that’s actually what you’re doing now. He is questioning her career path and her ability to earn a living. Will she be able to support herself? She says she’s on an adventure. He’s not interested in adventures. The internship is over. So is the free ride. She needs more time than two weeks to come up with an answer, but he isn’t offering more time. Welcome to the real world, dear. Maybe you should ask Kerri how it’s done. I’m sure she’ll have some pointers for you.
Speaking of which, Kerri meets up with her boss and gets a good report on last night’s event. But she needs to talk to him about her workload. The last few weeks have been crazy for her. He wants to make sure she’s handling it. She thinks she can’t keep juggling both jobs so she’s going to have to make a decision between the job and the internship. And I guess we have to wait until next week to find out what it is. Way to contrive a storyline for her.
Maggie & Liz meet up for lunch back in New York to discuss the Miami situation. Liz is still upset by the fact that Maggie didn’t say anything to back her up. Maggie says she was hurt by the things she said about her & Ryan. She says Ryan has been calling & emailing Mokai since the situation happened to make it right. Well, now that Liz can’t shit on him for not doing anything, it seems the responsibility is now on Maggie since she’s the one connected to Liz. This bitch is unreal. Maggie doesn’t understand why Liz won’t accept her apology. And because she hasn’t fully laid down the hammer, Liz proceeds to tell Maggie that she deserves a better boyfriend. Ryan’s a cheap ass. Maggie says he’s not cheap. He made an honest mistake. Since Maggie isn’t dropping to her knees and kissing Liz’s ass for the awesome advice, she basically shuts her down. She’s done with the conversation. Maggie is also done, but with more than the conversation. She’s done with Liz. Girl, that makes two of us.
The End of Century girls are back from Miami as well and things have not picked up at the gallery… at all. Not helping matters, Chantal skipped out for a weekend trip to Paris with Spencer, which led to a sickness that has kept her from working. I think her sickness is that she is allergic to work in general. Claudia opens the electric bill and calls mom crying that they don’t have the money to pay it. Mom is sympathetic, but not enough to open her checkbook. Claudia just doesn’t think it’s going to get better. No one’s coming into the store. Mom says then get your ass out there and get people in the store. The ones that have money to spend. Not the kids you think are cool. Go mom.
Bottom Line: Oh no! It’s the season finale already! Whatever will we do without our Gallery Girls? There had better be something spectacular coming to replace it until next season. There will be a next season… right?