Breaking Amish Season 1, Episode 2 – What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?

One Sentence Summary: The kids head out of their comfort zone and into the City where everything is a new experience.

Hello Times Square.

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  So, some nice feedback on last week’s post.  Thank you.  I guess there is another show on the Nat Geo channel that is also about an Amish person leaving the fold and making it on their own.  I’m told it is much more accurate in its portrayal of what it’s like.  I will have to check it out for sure, but I’m still intrigued enough to keep watching TLC’s version.  I have no doubt that this will be an extremely manipulated version of reality, but I’m in.  For now.  Can’t help myself.

So, we start with Rebecca heading out of Punxatawny and into her new world.  She told us her mother had an affair and was shunned for six weeks.  Wait, an affair gets you six measly weeks, but exploring the world outside your community is forever?  How’s that work?  She’s the product of that affair which her mother takes out on her physically and verbally.  Her father rejected her completely.  Well, none of that sounds very Christian.

They pick up Abe on their way to the airport and Rebecca tells him she’s terrified of flying.  I know I sound like a jackass, but I can’t fathom what it’s like to never have been on an airplane or have seen the ocean.

Welcome to turbulence.

They get to the airport and are completely overwhelmed by the entire process.  Yeah, I can imagine that has to be a whole lot of bizarre.  Security has to freak them out.  We don’t get to see that for obvious reasons. They meet up with Sabrina along the way and board the plane.  While Rebecca is freaking out, Abe is amazed to be flying for the first time.  I love how he can’t stop smiling & looking out the window.  It’s actually cool that they’re about to experience a whole world of firsts.  We’re all so exposed to so much so young in this day & age, it’s nice to see some innocence left in the world… Innocence TLC is about to yank out from underneath them.

They land and ride an escalator for the first time.  An escalator!  I know I know I know… I need to get over the fact that they’ve never done a million things that are commonplace for most of us, but I can’t help it.  So, you’ll probably have to indulge me a few more times before I get it out of my system.  I love that the woman that is about as plastic as a person can be is staring at them like they’re the freak show.  Honey, spend some time in the mirror.

I’m not sure where they’re staying in the city, but it’s quite posh.  Sabrina says she has never stayed in a hotel because there is alcohol in hotels.  Personally, I think that’s the best reason to stay in a hotel.  That and the mini shampoos.  They start exploring their new home by turning on all the lights and trying to figure out why someone would need a phone in the bathroom.  I still haven’t figured that one out myself.  Abe is excited to take a shower that doesn’t involve putting water in a bucket with holes in the bottom.  No one can quite figure out the clock/radio/iPod player.  But they’re all loving it.  Yeah, I’d love it too if someone put me up in some swank hotel for free.  I would love to see their faces if they knew how much that actually cost per night.

What the…

After thoroughly inspecting their rooms, they head out to check out the city.  Couldn’t TLC have given them at least a pair of jeans?  They are having a hard time finding Times Square and run into some rude commentary on their search.  Yeah, unfortunately, that is part of the real world too.  I almost want to put them on a plane back home before they get too much reality.  They find Times Square and are totally overwhelmed.  I find Times Square overwhelming so I can’t even fathom what it’s like for them.  Has to be mind-blowing.

Kate arrives in Grand Central Station and can’t believe how dirty NYC is.  Ah yes, welcome to the big city.  Rebecca has heard how pretty Kate is and hopes she doesn’t try and make a move on Abe.  That’s her crush so Kate had better back off.  Jeremiah also arrives by train into Penn Station and is also fascinated by the number of people around him.  There are probably more people staying in their hotel than live in their entire town.  How crazy is that?

Abe ordered room service for breakfast and was shocked by the fact that it was $52.  Yeah, NYC is famous for sticker shock.  I’m still floored by what they have the nerve to charge for room service & I’ve been going to NYC since I was a little girl.  Meanwhile, Kate has arrived but can’t figure out how to get the elevator to work.  In all fairness, it’s the kind that need your room key to work.  She finally gets to her room and Rebecca is shocked by how not pretty Kate is.  She was expecting more.  I see that female competition isn’t lost on the Amish.  Kate’s welcome doesn’t get warmer when Rebecca realizes there are 3 girls and 2 beds.  Rebecca would like a third bed brought in because she couldn’t possibly share.   Hey, go ask how much another room costs and then see how you feel about sharing.  And the boys’ first meeting isn’t any more of a lovefest.  Abe thinks Jeremiah is cocky.  Jeremiah thinks Abe is weird & weak.

After Rebecca finishes insulting Sabrina’s eating habits, the third bed arrives which Rebecca generously assigns to Kate.  Um, ok, I feel like I’m not allowed to say anything negative about them, but Rebecca’s starting to work my nerves.  Bossy much?

Next stop, the gym and another new experience.  Ladies, that one will get old very quickly.  Trust me.  Those medicine balls & treadmills are a good time for about 5 minutes.   Rebecca gets tossed off the treadmill and quickly decides the gym is not her friend.  Told ya…

The five meet up and head out for another new adventure.  They stop and try on sunglasses which the Amish don’t wear.  OK, I need to know what the issue is with sunglasses.  Abe negotiates the price which embarrasses Jeremiah.  That’s

What’s a nitrate?

the way of the street vendor, friend.  You’re supposed to haggle a better price.  Embrace the haggle.  The journey continues on and I’m really wishing they would stop at a clothing store.  Come on TLC, let them change out of the uniform.

Even though it’s Sunday, they go grocery shopping.  Um, where are they cooking this food being that they live in a hotel?  But this is freedom for them, so they go full tilt buying junk food and, gasp, wine.  Oh boy.  I know Kate has drank before, but I wonder if any of the others have.  I’m doubting it as I think only Kate has ever ventured out of the community, no?

Sabrina and Kate head back to the hotel to have some wine.  Sabrina thinks the wine was getting to her which is why she started talking about Rebecca.  Yeah, wine will do that.  So will being a woman.  They think she’s a little fake and turns out so are her teeth.  Seems Rebecca has false teeth which the girls intend to find.  To do what with?  I have no idea.

They head up to the penthouse and spend some time looking at how high up they are.  Abe thinks it would be a great idea to start spitting on people from the balcony.  Dude, not cool.  Do not spit on people ever.  Like never ever.  Everyone but Rebecca enjoys a glass of wine.  And everyone but Rebecca enjoys the giggles the wine gives them.  She hates drunk people and I can’t say as I blame her.  It’s never fun being the only sober person in the room.  However, being that this blog is called Two “Winey” Bitches, I’m not super familiar with the feeling.

The not-so-secret hiding place is discovered.

That night, Rebecca turns on all the lights at 3:30 in the morning.  I have no idea why, other than I suppose because she can, but it wakes up Kate who goes in the bathroom and finds Rebecca’s teeth in her covering.  OK, I need to know why she has fake teeth.  She & Sabrina find it hilarious, but I gotta say that’s pretty uncool.  I sincerely doubt it’s by choice that she has fake teeth.  Then again, we are dealing with people who don’t drink and are completely naive.  So, I suppose this is hilarious to them.

So it turns out that the kids, or newcomers as they’re being called, are naive about life in the city, but seem to be right up to speed on acting like kids let loose for the first time.  I would like their world to be a little less controlled by the show, but I guess you have to be somewhat on top of the situation if you drop them in the middle of NYC.  I mean maybe if they were in Pittsburgh…

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2 responses to “Breaking Amish Season 1, Episode 2 – What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?

  1. If you do more research, the people on the show are more wordly than you think. Abe was arrested in 2008 for public intoxication and he and Rebecca allegedly have a child together. Jeremiah has three kids and is divorced. He also has pierced ears and has lived outside the Amish before the show. Ye hath been deceived.

    • Ye are correct it seems. While I am smart enough to know reality TV isn’t exactly “real”, I guess I figured they’d at least have picked actual currently Amish people. Silly me. Well, I guess that gives me back an hour of my life Sunday nights. Thanks!

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