One Sentence Summary: The girls spend more time talking about themselves & each than they do about art.
Rachel: So, has everyone recovered from last week’s episode? Seems I’m not the only one who was surprised by how irritating most of these girls are. From the responses I’ve been getting (some of which were too nasty to even be displayed), it is clear that Brooklyn is a huge disappointment in terms of likability. But I will say that I’m somewhat intrigued and excited for tonight’s episode, because even though I find them intensely annoying, at least it’s a break from the increasingly predictable Housewives. How sad when I’m excited to be annoyed in a new way. If I had a shrink, this would make for a very interesting session… Maybe I’ll turn my angst into art.
So let’s get started with Eli Klein and his girls. He’s still enjoying his role as Maggie’s torturer and is making her place pebbles in bonsai tree potters in equal amounts. That’s just such a dick move. I really think this is some sick form of foreplay for him. He’s so clearly getting off on it. I’m willing to bet he’s got cameras filming her right now. He gives the insult a final twist by taking Liz to lunch while leaving Maggie by herself in the gallery. Liz calls Eli out about the pebble assignment and he laughs like a kid who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Yeah, he’s a sick dude. I’m starting to like this Liz chick though. She’s got a dark sense of humor. I appreciate that. I also appreciate sending back a coke that tastes like dish washing detergent. Just sayin…
Oh goody, it’s the girls of End of Century and their new artist. Look, let me state for the record that I know pretty much nothing about modern art, but you
cannot tell me that blue & white paint on canvas next to a wood frame is “satirical”. Definition of satire: the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. Definition of that artwork: not satirical. If you want to tell me that it was inspired by the Simpson’s sky, I’m with you. But don’t give me any crap about it’s deep meaningful brilliance. Chantal tells us that his work is mind-boggling & she doesn’t get it at all. I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing for her… or for the art. Then we get to watch Claudia try and negotiate pricing and commissions with her artist. I hate to agree with Chantal, but you really should have worked that out before his art was on your walls. That was actually more painful than listening to them discuss the art.
I love watching Liz (thanks to the sweet reader that kindly alerted me to the fact that I had a momentary lapse and called her Amy) & her mom squeeze into her little studio apartment for wine & lobster. I don’t love hearing about how crappy her relationship with her father is. I get that it’s disappointing to have a kid be on drugs at age 19, but I’m thinking this kid has turned her life around and is deserving of some parental pride. Yeah, Liz is growing on me.
Time to hear Angela tells us how she’s way more fabulous than she really is. She waits tables to pay the bills, but also does freelance work as an event photographer. Her BFF Alex comes over so she has someone to talk to about herself. She’s getting ready for her job covering an event for Paper Magazine and needs an outfit that says “cool fashion photographer”. After trying on a bunch of
ridiculous options, she chooses the “puritan slut” look. Alrighty then. I’ve already given up trying to understand this girl. Then again, I’m not fluent in hipster so I guess I’m just missing the brilliance of it all.
At the Uptown Art Fair, Kerri & Amy are helping their boss find a piece of art for her philanthropist client. Each girl is tasked with picking one work that catches their eye and then must present it to their boss. It will help her understand their points of view on art a little better. Amy is pretty confident that she’ll nail this because she has more experience than Kerri and she has good taste so that will help her out. She also has plans later so she can’t spend a ton of time working. Kerri, on the other hand, wants to be thoughtful and find the right piece. Need I bother to tell you what I think about the two girls and where this is going? I didn’t think so.
Back to Brooklyn to the Creators Project which is cool, according to Angela, because it’s free and there are a lot of beautiful people. Yes, the two most important factors in being cool. She knows she should be shooting for the event, but it’s not creatively fulfilling and she prefers shooting her friends. Some day she’d like to have a photography show and legitimize herself as an artist. OK, even I can’t hate on her for having goals. I give her a tip of her Zorro hat for that one.
And we zip right back uptown to Amy’s local bar where she’s feeling no pain. It’s got the appropriate amount of men in button-down shirts and neat haircuts for her. Maggie, her boyfriend & her boyfriend’s friend show up. Maggie likes Dorian’s because it’s always full of normal people and they probably wouldn’t let anyone from Brooklyn through the doors. If you say so. I would discuss that further but I’m too busy being confused by what is going on in the bathroom right now. Amy & Maggie seemingly have escaped for some girl talk. Amy thinks Eric is the most and Maggie mentions that he has a great apartment. Amy takes offense to that, because apparently on the Upper East Side, that is like calling someone a gold digger. Amy comes from a great family and she doesn’t need Maggie to tell her how much money he makes. She’s in it for love… even if that means he lives in a trailer park. OK, first of all, way to go totally ape shit over something that wasn’t even said. In fact, it was barely implied. Second of all, know your audience. Look who you’re talking to. Third of all, I would love to see you bring home Joe Bob from the trailer park to mommy & daddy. I triple dog dare you. Wait, did Maggie just say “gi-zactly”? Come on.
Time for art school with Liz. She’s creating a piece of art that exemplifies what a landscape looks like from 1,000 feet in the air based on a bobby pin. Yeah, the more I am let into the art world, the less I understand. Liz is grooving with her work until someone steps on her piece and leaves a sneaker print. Yeah, that’s super not cool, but neither is her handling of the situation. She assumes it’s because someone was hating on her for being pretty & rich. Girl, I was just starting to like you. Anyway, her teacher loves her piece and it takes his breath away. Whatever happy pills he’s on, I’d like a few please. He thinks the accident worked to her benefit and Amy appreciates the positive feedback. She would prefer it from daddy, but realizes she has to live for herself. Yeah you do… OK, I’m willing to forgive her freak-out moment. I’m feeling generous tonight.
Time for Kerri & Amy to present their art choices to Sharon. Kerri goes first and shows her a piece made out of handmade paper that features plastic bags that the artist found on her travels. OK, that I get and find interesting. Sharon agrees. She would take that to her client. Amy shows Sharon her pick from Damien Hirst, one of the more famous contemporary artists working today. Sharon feels like it’s too obvious. So, Kerri wins the challenge, but both are encouraged to get out and see as much as they can. Amy says Kerri just got lucky. No, Kerri just did her job better than you did.
Chantal has brought in a jewelry designer to End of Century for a trunk show to try and generate some income. Good thinking. Bad jewelry. Sorry. Maybe this is more of the hipster thing I don’t get but I’m not loving what she’s showing. Am I wrong?
Angela has been set up on a blind date with an older man. Seems she has a fantasy about dating a middle-aged man who’s in the midst of a mid-life crisis. OK, I think this guy is like 32 and really that’s so stupid. They are both photographers, but he shoots on film and she shoots digital. And God forbid he not have a Gmail account for email. If it’s Yahoo or Hotmail, then he’s out. But we’ll never know where he checks his inbox, because he also doesn’t have an iPhone which makes him undateable apparently. You know what he does have Angela? A grant from the Guggenheim Foundation. Maybe if you got your head out of your ass and shut your mouth long enough, you might actually learn something and meet some interesting people. Jesus, you’re a fucktard.
Ha ha… Love the juxtaposition montage of Kerri working her ass off and Amy getting her hair done 4 days a week. Message delivered loud and clear.
Liz is meeting her dad, visiting from Miami, for dinner. This should be uncomfortable… and it is. She tells her dad that she’s frustrated with school and he doesn’t get why there’s an issue. I also don’t get why there’s an issue but I’m not at the table & she’s not my kid. She wants to know if they’ll have a family vacation any time soon. Nope. She shows him some of her art. Indifferent. Wow, yeah, that’s a tough crowd. I feel sad for her. That’s a shit situation for sure. Makes me want to hug my dad and thank him for being so awesome.
Great. More Angela. She calls in her boys to get some advice on her career. She wants to do a show that establishes her as a “photographer slash it girl”. Yeah, well I want to smack you in your head. We can’t always get what we want, now can we? They both say the venue is the most important thing. She needs to have it packed with a tight guest list. It’s up to Alex to make her buzzworthy so that they can get that tight guest list and pack the oh-so-important venue. Ben thinks her work could be better. She needs more shots. He suggests she get out there and do more shooting. She says she’s too busy. Lady, are you serious? Do you not get that you don’t announce yourself to the world as a great artist until you actually have great art?
End of Century is having their jewelry trunk show and the place is pretty packed. Kerri & Amy decide to broaden their art horizons per Sharon’s suggestion with a visit. Um, can we talk about the guy that walked in with them wearing a fur
bolero, no shirt and a leather skirt? Yeah, that’s one broad horizon right there. Oh, that’s Kerri’s hair stylist. I should have known. The EOC girls finally realized that in order to make sales that they needed to have a sales station… Good thinking… and it’s working. People are buying thing. The girls are excited, but the good vibes are so not Brooklyn and Chantal brings back the dark by saying that she’s embarrassed for Claudia and thinks she might not be cut out to be the gallery director. Nice. Look forward to that conversation.
Liz’s boyfriend comes over after her dinner with dad and suggests hanging up some of her artwork in the apartment to pep her up. Bobby gets a thumbs up for being supportive. And I must say that I like the creepy nurse/skull painting. Don’t know what that says about me, but I dig it. And I dig her having a good boyfriend. Aw, love.
And we leave off this week where we started, at Eli Klein’s. Maggie is stuffing envelopes while Liz is… I’m not sure what Liz is doing. But whatever it is, it earns her an invite to a MOMA event with Eli. Jane Holzer, a big art collector & Andy Warhol’s first superstar, comes to the gallery via Liz’s dad’s connections. Guess daddy is good for something. And now I guess we know what Liz does. As Liz shows Jane around, Eli loudly asks Maggie if she’s changed the doggie water bowl outside. Look, I don’t know what sick sexual fantasy he’s playing out with Maggie, but you don’t humiliate your employee in front of your client. Maggie does get to meet Jane and have a moment. Oh how kind of Eli to allow her a moment of respite from the back room. Gotta say, I don’t blame her for being pissed off. A showdown has to be coming soon… please!
Bottom Line: I am sure I now know less about art than I did before I watched tonight’s show.