Rachel: Well, imagine my surprise when I looked on my DVR this morning and saw a brand new ANTM. I had no idea it was starting so soon… probably because I had turned my back on that traitor Tyra Banks after the firing of Nigel & The Jays. Apparently, my DVR didn’t get the memo. And well, since it’s there… I guess I’m going to have to watch. I mean it would be rude to ignore it. What’s that saying about curiosity killing the cat? Meow.
Oh goodie! We’re starting off with a visit with Tyra and her many personalities. She’s talking to some bearded guy in a wig about how the show needs an H2T makeover. Yeah, let’s play “Isn’t it cute we fired the boys?!?!” And I hate that she calls her seasons “cycles”. Though this show does give me cramps…
So the new & improved (I’ll be the judge of that) ANTM will feature college girls and is going to be interactive, which means we get a say in voting off the models. That’s right. We’re one of the judges. And speaking of judges… Smooth Tyra…
So, we have Rob Evans – male model with a British accent. Oh, I’m not mad at him. He’s not Nigel, but we might be able to make this work… somehow. Don’t mistake that as giving in to the new judges. Oh no, my arms are still crossed in protest… making it awfully hard to type. I’m just saying he’s purdy.
Brianboy is a fashion blogger and now our judge. Yeah, the jury’s still out on this one. You know I love me a bitchy queen, but I’m not so sure I love this one. And really? Brianboy? That’s your name? Hmm… I think I miss Ms. Jay already.
Finally, we have the new Mr. Jay, Johnny Wujek. He is a stylist to the stars with Katy Perry being his big client. I’ll just keep my mouth shut on my feelings about one Ms. Perry’s look and see what Johnny brings to the table. I can tell you it won’t be Mr. Jay’s flawless skin. I’m still fascinated by that. Well, fascinated and extremely envious.
The potential contestants show up to what looks like a frat party with a runway in
the middle of the pool. I do like that the girls are in college, which pushes the average IQ of the show up a bit. We’ve got everything from Harvard to USC to Liberty online college. Tyra shows up to usual hysterical screaming and crying to welcome the “fly 30” and introduce the judges. The screaming continues and I might have to watch with the sound off for a few minutes.
Time for a walk-off on the runway. As the girls walk, the audience Tweets & texts votes. As usual, there are some girls that can rock a runway and some girls that have clearly never worn a pair of heels before. Ladies, if you sign up for a modeling competition, get yourself a pair of heels and don’t take them off until you’re eliminated or you win the damn thing! And then there’s the girl that keep meowing.
Up next, a photo shoot for the girls in their bikini bottoms and ANTM babydoll tees. OK, I’m starting to like Johnny Wujak. He’s a cutie… No Mr. Jay, but I’m
defrosting. So far I’m liking Destiny – the rocker chick who has nothing to go home to. There’s always one.
The photos of the Top 30 were posted online so people could vote for their favorites. Man, I have really been MIA on the ANTM front. While the girls wait for the results, they are stuck in a room with computers that have a live feed of the comments. Wow, way to throw them right into the fire pit. But they also get to give shout outs to their friends & family to vote. One girl calls it groundbreaking. Hmm… Is that what it is?
Time for the girls to meet the judges. I love that Laura’s dad was on Dynasty. That alone gets a vote from me. You know how I love me some Dynasty. Dynasty & Destiny, my two girls! ha ha… OK, I’m going stir crazy from being trapped inside by Tropical Storm Isaac. Then comes the girl with the missing tooth and the girl with the tattoo inside her bottom lip. What? Why? Aw lawd, the meowing girl is back. She needs to go. And then there’s Jessie, the indie girl with the rockin’ booty. Yeah, never would have seen that coming, but that’s what makes it cool.
And then there are the mean girls… Sitting around making fun of girls to make themselves feel better. Apparently, going to an online school is something to make fun of. Uh, it’s 2012 ladies. Welcome to the brave new world. The worst part is that she hears them. That sucks. I guess the mean girls forgot that we’re all out here watching and this year we get a vote. Keep talking, bitches. Keep talking. So much for that positive role model, Kiara. Uh, I think Kristin missed the Bad Girls Club audition because that’s clearly where she needs to be. I wouldn’t think Miss Tyra would even let a girl that’s been suspended from school make it this far. Granted it was high school, but still. Oh sorry, she’s a changed woman. Yeah, we’ll see.
Time to find out who makes it into the house… Actually, we find out about the new prize package this season: The cover of Nylon Magazine, the face of ANTM perfume “Dream Come True”, a contract with LA Models & NY Model Management, $100k and campaigns with Nine West & Smashbox Studios. OK, now the finalists:
Top Row: Kristin (boo), Nastasia, Laura, Alyssa, Destiny, Kiara
Bottom Row: Leila, Darian, Maria, Jessie, Brittany, Yvonne, and Victoria.
Well, maybe I’ll watch week 2. Maybe…