One Sentence Summary: Things heat up in the desert for the Exes.
My Thoughts: I’m sorry I’m a week late on this, but I promise I’ll get back on track… soon. There’s another girls getaway but this one brings the drama… Finally! Like I’ve said before, I like these ladies but if there’s no drama the whole “I was married to… “ mystique is going to wear off and they will just be rich women who have dinners together and go on dates. I’m not asking for table flips or bucking camels, but we need some drama… soon. I don’t want to be mean, but that’s just the way it is. “Reality” is a fickle place and you need to bring it or you’re forgotten… Miami anyone?
Shopping at Beach Bunny, Sheree tells the ladies she’s planned a trip to Palm Springs. It’s a little get away so they can have some quality time. Because they haven’t been away in what, 2 weeks? Sorry, I digress (it’s just bitterness). Wait, so the color purple isn’t allowed for Mayte? I mean I get the link to his Purple Badness, but for everyone to boycott the color?
Bing Lived it Up
Oh, this is a gorgeous house!! Drea isn’t impressed by the location in the middle of nowhere even if it’s the late Bing Crosby’s home. Apparently it’s the spot JFK and Marilyn started their little “friendship”. Jessica decides to start things up with a little cocktail and Sheree brings a quick prayer before anyone can toss back the booze. We have to pray over beverages too? Jessica saves a roach (skeeve) from the bedroom instead of flushing him since she can’t kill a living thing. Sheree informs the ladies poolside that dinner plans are at Circa 59 which includes meat… but also vegetarian options. Jessica announces if anyone orders lamb she’s going to shove the chop up their ass. Um, why you gotta hate on the chop eaters Jess? I get it, you’re a vegetarian, but violence won’t solve the issue. She doesn’t think the ladies should eat meat and tells them she won’t talk to them if they do. Wait, now in all the dinners they’ve gone to no one has ordered steak or chicken something? Listen, I get vegetarians and the whole not wanting to kill something – food with a face as Pheobe Buffay would say. I was a vegetarian for a like a minute and have several friends who are, but here’s the thing… Don’t lecture me on what you think I should and shouldn’t eat. It’s rude.
Food without Feelings
Oh no she didn’t just take a bite of bread without praying over it… Sheree!! Wait, how did we segue to olive oil reminding Mayte of porn stars using it for anal sex?? At least I think they were talking about anal sex. OK, now Jessica is demanding Nicole not eat pâté… While she eats crab? I don’t want to be Captain Obvious here, but you’ve just killed a living thing my dear… And you look like a dimwit for preaching to your friends about what they can and can’t eat. I don’t buy your logic that it’s not thinking or feeling. I’ve had live lobsters at my house and I’ll tell you what, they know what’s happening and they are trying to get the F out of Dodge… Or the bucket.
A Comparison of Days
Ladies love the shopping options in in Palm Springs – with the exception of Nicole and Jessica who stayed back to work on their tans and drink. As Drea, Mayte and Sheree rock their movie montage fashion show Drea dances out in tennis dress bottoms and a smile. This woman is so much fun! As the mojitos flow at Bing’s place, Nicole and Jessica decide they need to ask Drea if she and R Kelly had sex to his music. I almost want to challenge who out there in our readership hasn’t gotten a little hot and heavy to a little Bump N Grind? Just sayin.
Point to Mayte
Mayte needs to make sure she proves a point to Jessica that crustaceans do in fact have feelings like chickens or cows. Upon getting their lobster the ladies worry they might not be able to eat them. HA…
Mayte: See, it does have feelings.
Sheree: It does, he’s going to be good for dinner.
Amen Sista, now that’s something you can pray over.
Oh, they turned hanging out into a topless dance party? With gymnastic? How many drinks have they had?? I feel like I have to catch up. I love the ladies coming back with their lobsters hiding them in the tub (filling it with water?). Not that they need to hide them since Jessica is so far gone I don’t even know if she realizes she’s in Palm Springs versus Alaska. Mayte is having drunken tour flashbacks while Jessica calls Sheree boring. Thankfully they put Jessica to bed before the hookah came out. That could have been ugly and resulted in minor burns. Sheree gets annoyed about the ladies not helping out as they chat talk about Percy her new man. OK, I do need to give R. Kelly props on how he proposed to / married Drea.
Mayte tells Nicole of her plan to prove a point just before Jessica gets up from her nap and says she can’t kill the lobsters they bought for dinner. Whoa, wait. OK, I was just going along following the conversation as best I could about hierarchies and people picketing and telling people how and what they can eat then Drea lobs in the bombshell of Jessica’s abortion to the shocked faces of the other ladies. Did she just go there? Jessica decides the gloves are off and she needs to call the ladies out on their hypocrisy. Wait, now Jessica says she never aborted a pregnancy… Yet on the confessional she said she did. Sheree and Jessica turn into a finger pointing session before Jessica storms off to her room.
The Point is Dead
As Nicole goes off to check on Jessica, Drea sense checks with Sheree and Mayte the hierarchy of life and how can Jessica contradict herself while Sheree is still trying to figure out how she was dragged into the whole thing. Jessica thinks things with Sheree went too far and she was attacked. Mayte shares bad news that she thinks the lobsters died. Um, maybe because you put them in a tub with tap water.
Dinner With a Side of Childishness
Jessica decides to head to the main house for something to eat but tells Sheree she isn’t talking to her when Sheree asks if she’s sorry for offending her. But clearly it doesn’t keep Jessica from talking about Sheree. Thankfully Sheree called Jessica out on this childish behavior and suggest they talk about it versus Jessica taking digs.
Bottom Line: Who knew the ladies would go all sorts of crazy this week. Looks like the wheels are about to come off the happy bus.