One Sentence Summary: This week Andy ducks insults, not birds, as the OC Reunion comes to a close.
Rachel: Well, guess who screwed the pooch tonight? Yep, me. Yapping on the phone and didn’t see the message on the TV that said that unless the channel was changed, the DVR would not record the RHOC. Nope, instead it chose The Bachelorette and the end of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta – which BTW, if you’re not watching and jonesing for some drama post the OC ladies, I highly reco it. So, since my DVR likes the mens more than the ladies (and I don’t blame it), I missed the first 10 minutes of the show. I’m sure the first 5 were recap of last week so I’m not super concerned. But I do apologize for the oopsie, and well, that’s it.
So where are we? Ah, Fancy Pants Heather, my favorite OC Housewife. I really do like her and that house… Oh, that house. I just would be happy with her closet. And considering the cash she is rolling in, she still has a sense of humor and seems down to earth… Well, relatively speaking. I’d have some champers with her, for sure. Oh, I love Bow-gate. And I love that she owns the fact that she overreacted in the heat of the moment. I would have been the same way. It was the response from Sarah that pushed the buttons more than the bow… even though I stand by the fact that it was monumentally rude and Sarah sucks.
But enough of sugar bows and on to Sugar Lips Brooks. Ah yes, thebomb.com…. He did say that, among the myriad of other weird made-up Brooks-isms. And here he is with us on the couch. Andy is reading viewer mail about his being an opportunist and sounding like a Hallmark card. He says the latter is because he’s Southern. Yeah, I have Southern friends that don’t speak to me in prose. He skips over the opportunist part, natch. But let’s not forget who is sitting across the way… Oh yeah, Tamra. She will remind him. And Gretchen will explain how when you’re in love and in a vulnerable state, people will take advantage of you. Now, we’re all thinking the same thing: Hello, Slade? Yeah, when you’re the pot, don’t call the kettle black. A lesson for all these women. Look, I don’t particularly care for Brooks, but I don’t get the death grip of hate Tamra has on him. Seems a bit over-the-top and self-righteous at this point. Your friend is happy. Love her, be happy for her and keep your one evil eye on him to protect her. I do give him credit for admitting that he was rude to Heather at her home. Ha ha… And I give him credit for telling Tamra that taking relationship advice from her is like taking financial advice from someone that is bankrupt. I raise my wine glass, Brooks.
Speaking of banana relationships… Slade & Gretchen. I’m glad that she still doesn’t feel like love is enough to get them through to marriage… though that is a big ass ring on her finger. Will we discuss? I guess not. Tamra & Heather agree that it’s good that she’s hesitant. Heather says that he has to buckle down and pay off his debt. I’m pretty sure that means that Gretchen needs to tell him that the comedian pipe dream is over. And while she’s at it, tell him that he’s not funny. Yeah, why doesn’t she pay him to be her slave, er manager? He’s doing the work. I mean he even has to handle her phone calls. Give him a check. Seems like a win-win, no? Oh, and you go Vicki. Call her out about Slade being an opportunist. It is the same damn thing, no? Well, we won’t know because Tamra brings it back to Brooks. My lord she is a viper. Amazing how any good will I had for her this season is gone, yet again. She’s just horrible and nasty. And Gretchen, you’re both judgmental hypocrites, ok? You both have called out each other’s boyfriends for doing the exact same things you defend for them. Now, can we move on? Oh and PS – No one believes for a moment, Tamra, that you just want Vicki to be happy. You want Vicki to be happy on your terms.
Groan… And now Brianna. It’s not that I don’t like her, it’s that… I don’t like her right now. I feel like she was really unfair to Vicki this year. Screeeeech… She’s living with her mother???? And Donn is still living there? WTF is wrong with these people? Don’t answer. But I am happy to see that the two of them are getting along and that Vicki is thrilled to be a grandma. Brianna’s explanation as to why she got a quickie marriage in Vegas kinda makes sense to me too. Life is unpredictable and I would imagine finding out that you don’t have cancer is pretty life-altering. And while Brianna clearly still doesn’t like Brooks, it seems like there is some sort of detente between mom & daughter. I guess that’s good. I hope it lasts. They should enjoy this time.
Whoa, did Brianna just say Brooks outed her pregnancy. That’s pretty inappropriate. Where does he think in any world that that is his business? And how does he think that is going to help his relationship? Hmm… And he didn’t want to be on-set with Brianna. Brooks, you just can’t get out of your own way, can you? Oh Vicki, you can’t possibly believe that he isn’t a wedge in your relationship with your daughter? Have you been listening for the last 10 minutes? Ok, I take back my prior whoa because WHOA… Donn had an affair for 20 years? Twenty? Years? Holy shit. Oh, poor Vicki. Oh, poor me. My head’s about to explode… So many fingers pointing and accusations flying that I can’t even focus. And even if Vicki did in Cabo what Tamra is accusing her of, it’s just straight dirty pool to air it on national TV and worse to do it in front of her kid. Shame on you, Tamra. That’s right, I’m shaming you.
Wow, final thoughts already? Well, I did miss ten minutes… Heather thinks the season was fun. She hopes she & Alexis cleared up their issues. Alexis is happy the season is over and she tries to be a better person every day. Gretchen is excited for her businesses, but sad about some of the emotional hardships she endured this season including what happened with her friendship with Alexis. Tamra gained a friend in Gretchen and might have lost a friend today in Vicki. There are certain things you don’t go below the belt… I hope she’s talking about herself. And wait, so who gets the wine biz? And finally, Vicki, whose personal life is under construction, is confused about her future with Brooks. But she’ll be ok.
And Rachel is happy and sad to see another season in the can. Happy for the break and sad because this season actually brought me back to my OC ladies.
Well, thanks everyone for hanging with me this season. Would love to hear your final thoughts on the season! Cheers!