One Sentence Summary: To propose or not to propose, that is the question for two of the men.
Rachel: Ah, back in the good ol’ USofA. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t take another moment of that trip. It was torturous start to finish. Let’s hope there is less shrieking and screaming and finger pointing tonight. Well, if there is an engagement, shrieking is totally acceptable. I’m really more concerned with the kind that comes when you put those 5 women together at the same table and add alcohol. Anywho, let’s see what makes the women up the decibels tonight.
We start with a Vicki and Brooks visit to the dentist to replace that missing tooth of his. Uh, how has he been walking around without a tooth in the first place?
What respected, successful businessman (his claims, not mine) would be seen like that? And did Vicki just say she’s putting Humpty Dumpty back together again? Just what any man wants to be referred to as. When meeting with the dentist, Vicki asks if they can fix his lips and gums too. Wow, really? I’m with you on the toothless smile being an issue, but telling him that his upper lip is too long? That’s insane. But then again, there is very little that’s real on Vicki, so I shouldn’t be surprised. I think my favorite part of the whole scene though is Vicki saying she accepts Brooks for who he is. Yeah, who he is minus his teeth, gums & lips.
Over at dinner with a more healthy couple, Tamra tells Eddie about “Heather’s” intervention with Alexis in Costa Rica. Wait, it was Heather’s intervention? Weren’t you as responsible for that as anyone? Probably more than Heather since it was you that threw her husband under the bus, no? She says she feels badly for Alexis, but she also can’t stand her. Have to say I kind of agree with that. But enough about Alexis, Eddie has booked them on a trip for next week. Tamra thought it was for next summer. Eddie says no, next week. Yeah, I can see how you could get that mixed up. He tells her that they’re going to Tahiti to stay in one of those overwater huts. How fabulous! Tamra is super excited but can’t help thinking Eddie has something up his sleeve, since she just got back from Costa Rica. I think we all know what’s up that sleeve, and it’s a diamond ring. Hopefully, he didn’t pull a Slade and sprung for the real deal.
Back in the OC, Alexis is back to her Fox 5 segment. How is she still doing this? Today, she is showing “resort trendy looks”, whatever that means. But she does manage to make it through this segment without any glaring mistakes. I will give her that… and only that. I guess that coach is paying off. Jim’s gonna be pissed.
Tamra & Eddie are off to Bora Bora and Tamra is hiding it from the rest of the women. She thinks Eddie is going to propose and the other women will think the same thing. If it doesn’t happen, she’ll feel like an idiot. I supposed that makes sense, sort of. She’s having a hard time lying to Gretchen about why she can’t see her this weekend. On the other hand, she and Vicki aren’t really speaking, which she blames on Brooks, and that pisses her off. Well, at least you don’t have to lie to her about your plans. Eddie says enough about the other women. This trip is about them. I like Eddie. OK, why do they always fly out of LAX which is an hour away when there is an airport 10 minutes from their houses? These are the questions that keep me up at night. Anyway, as they head out, Eddie says he is surprising her when they land with…. massages. He’s going to milk this, isn’t he?
Heather is throwing herself a naming party since she officially changed her last name to Dubrow. Jewish people have naming parties for their kids, so why not a JewBu party for her? So, off we go to shop for the cake. It has to be sophisticated as it will be the centerpiece of the party and set the tone. Yeah, it’s a cake, not a band. The baker (I assume) suggests a Mad Hatter cake with diamonds and bling and stripes and a lot of a lot of everything. Heather looks at her like she sprouted a second head and asks for something more “structured”. So, the baker brings up a square cake with edible diamonds. Now we’re speaking the same language. Yeah, I have to say that I don’t know how you go to the Mad Hatter when someone says sophisticated & elegant, but there are so many things I don’t understand about the OC.
Tamra & Eddie land in gorgeous Bora Bora and take a water taxi to their room. Eddie has another surprise for her… a shell bikini top. More milking and I love it. And I love that they’re essentially going on a honeymoon to get engaged. This place is insane. I mean it doesn’t get more gorgeous than this. OK, I said I’d never go back to Tahiti, but maybe I spoke too soon. And maybe because I was with a buddy and not a boyfriend, it didn’t have quite the same effect… Anyway, Tamra says she doesn’t deserve this. She’s had so much bad that it’s hard to believe that something good can happen. I actually feel like hugging her right now. She has had a rough few years (as we’ve seen) so it’s nice to see her happy and not so nasty. But no time for hugs right now, she & Eddie are going swimming in the ridiculously turquoise waters. Color me jealous.
We meet up with Gretchen who is calling her dad about Slade. She asks him about a text she saw from a jeweler regarding a ring and she wants to know if he has mentioned marriage to her father. She says she thought they were really
clear about what needs to be resolved before they can even consider marriage. Her father says that they have spoken about marriage but to be careful with Slade because she doesn’t want to ruin a surprise. Oh, I think she does. And if she’s this panicked about the thought of a proposal, then she probably shouldn’t be getting one. And on a totally separate note, I just have to bring up something that has been bothering me all season – Gretchen’s make-up. Seriously, she wears so much make-up that it freaks me out. I’m not even kidding. It actually freaks me out. She piles on so much that she really is starting to look like a drag queen. Someone please give her a make-under, stat! OK, just had to get that out of my system. Moving on…
Tamra & Eddie head to dinner and it’s at the only table on the beach. She thinks he’s going to propose… again. I hope he really does it now. It’s getting torturous for me, so I can only imagine how it is for her. She must just want to jump up and say, “Just ask me already!” Well, the sun has now set and there’s still no ring. The waiter comes over to light the candle which symbolizes their love on Bora Bora. There’s a lot of talk about their relationship and love and inspiration and… COME ON, EDDIE! She actually brings up the ring saying that she believes she needs one before they can move in together. He says that she should chuck that out the window because a ring isn’t necessary to move forward. He wasn’t raised traditionally so maybe that’s we he’s happy just the way things are. OK, now he’s just torturing the poor woman. LOL… He had better be down on one knee in the next 60 seconds. She looks so disappointed and asks to go back to the room.
Speaking of non-engagements… Gretchen confronts Slade about the text from Newport Jewelers. He says it was something he was planning. Thanks, Slade. So she asks point-blank if he’s planning on proposing to her. He says yes. And off she goes about how they had an understanding about how things couldn’t move in that direction until he essentially cleaned up his mess. He shouldn’t be having this conversation with her father and Heather before having it with her. He looks shocked and doesn’t understand what she wants from him. Really? You are the only one that seems to be missing the point. She wants you to get a job, pay your bills and take care of your kids. It’s not a complex idea to grasp. She also doesn’t know how he doesn’t understand it. She can’t be any clearer. He says he’s working three jobs and assisting her. She tells him for the millionth time she doesn’t need him to assist her. He has no ownership in her company. She could break up with him tomorrow and he’d have nothing. And there you have it, folks. Doesn’t get clearer than that. Think he heard that? Probably not. Well, actually not since he’s saying that he’s doing work. He’s getting paid to practice his comedy. Seriously? And he’s helping her. He’s not sitting around with his feet up. Yeah, you’ve got kids and child support, Slade. So, no no on the comedy. Yes yes on a real job. He says that he just wants her to know that she means more to him than a girlfriend, and that’s what matters. No, not really. Your kids matter. But apparently, for her, it does matter and if he had just told her that, she would have been ok with it. Love is enough. Really? Ask his kids if love is enough. This guy sucks. What on earth, does she see in him? He asks what she would have said if he did propose. And she says she doesn’t know. So love isn’t enough, is it Gretchen?
Over in Tahiti, Tamra & Eddie are off to scuba dive. After last night’s dinner, she has given up the proposal dream and is just going to enjoy her time on vacation. Being the good sport she is, she has sort of agreed to get in the water even though it’s going to ruin her weave and her fake eyelashes. Why is she wearing fake eyelashes in the first place? But in she goes and she is actually enjoying it. They find some clams during their dive and put them in their vests to take home. He’s going to put a ring in one of those clams. I’m calling it now… I know, it’s not a huge leap, but I’m calling it anyhow. OK, you’d think he was proposing to me the way I’m all hyped up about it. I just like to see happy moments. And I like them as a couple. And I think she’s finally a happy person. And I think I’m way too invested in this situation.
But we’ll have to wait to find out because first we have to see Brooks’s new smile. Step 2 in Vicki’s “Accept him for who he is after I change everything about him” plan is complete. First, new clothes. Now, a new smile. What’s next? Hair transplant surgery?
Holy commercials! Come on! Finally, back in Bora Bora, Eddie is futzing with the clams when Tamra comes out and wonders what he’s doing. He better be
shoving a ring in one of those clams. He shows her how to open a clam and look for pearls. He hands her a “special shell” that he found in the ocean that you don’t need a knife to open. She opens it and, finally, there’s the ring. Eddie proposes and she’s crying so hard she’s unable to speak, but she accepts the proposal. Yay! They’re engaged! It’s a gorgeous ring too. Aw, so nice to take a break from the screaming to see a happy moment…
Though from the previews, it seems it’s a short-lived moment and the screaming is back next week when that awful Sarah shows up at Heather’s party.
Bottom Line: Well, other than Slade and his mind-numbing stupidity, this was a nice episode. I’m going to enjoy it for a moment…