Real Housewives of Orange County Season 7, Week 17 – Monkey Business

One Sentence Summary:  The ladies continue to suck any fun out of their last few days in Costa Rica.

These ladies be bat shit crazy. I’m just sayin…

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  Well, when we left the ladies last week, we were knee-deep in the Alexis “intervention” though some thought it was more like an all-out assault.  Personally, I’m not a huge fan of Alexis – which I haven’t been shy about making known – and I think that the girls are essentially right in what they’re telling her, but I’m not sure this was the right way or the right moment.  Then there’s the fact that Tamra doesn’t exactly come to the party with a soft touch, which isn’t going to help an already defensive Alexis hear the message.  But let’s get back to the rumble in the jungle…

Alexis brings up Terry again saying that he says all these nasty things about her when he doesn’t know her and that’s Tamra’s fault.  Uh, I think you’ve got your facts wrong, and I’m going to say that attacking Heather’s husband is probably not the best tack to take.  Vicki, who is suddenly looking incredulous at the situation, breaks it down for us in her interview that they’re all materialistic and phony at some level.  Ain’t no truer words ever been spoken.  But it’s not about being materialistic, it’s about being pretentious.  And Alexis is.  Sorry to all the readers that think I’m mean to her, but she is.  Again, I don’t necessarily agree with the ganging up on her, but the message is right.  And I find it laughable that Vicki is telling everyone to accept people for who they are when she’s constantly telling people how to behave.  Maybe the next intervention can be for Vicki & she can take a look into that mirror she keeps talking about.

Alexis has finally had enough and goes back to her room.  Gretchen tries to console Alexis, but she just wants to be alone.  Gretchen forces her way into the room for a hug and it is not the kumbayah moment she was hoping for.  Seems her friend is not happy that she didn’t get her back and therefore does not want her touching her front.  This upsets Gretchen who doesn’t like to hurt her friends by telling them the truth.  Heather tries to explain that Alexis is putting this attitude into the community and she needed to hear it to help her.  Gretchen isn’t swayed and still feels badly.

Now it’s Vicki’s turn to try and sooth Alexis.  You know, since she really likes Alexis as a person.  Tamra thinks it’s a ploy to make it look like they’re best friends because she and Gretchen are now friends.  Oh, this is so high school from

Please make her stop. Please make her stop.

top to bottom.  But off she goes with a plate of lobster in her hand to make Alexis feel better.  Alas, the Lobster isn’t working either and Alexis tries to send Vicki away.  But Vicki isn’t giving up.   She has important things to say, so Alexis finally lets her in. Vicki reminds her that Tamra did the same thing to her too in San Francisco.  She doesn’t have the beautiful body and face that the other girls have, but she’s still proud of who she is.  OK, how did this become about her?  And wasn’t Vicki the one at the table that took the swing at her about her finances?  I mean, come on.  This is such a put on because you’re mad at Tamra.

Back the table, Gretchen’s tears turn to anger as she realizes that Alexis let Vicki in, but not her.  She has always defended Alexis and now she is BFFs with Vicki.  That’s so not cool.  Oh, this is giving me a headache.  How about we all grow up and let everyone be friends with whomever they want to be friends with?  Seems reasonable, no?  And if you think Alexis is fake, then let her be fake.  If you think Vicki is evil, let her be evil.  Just don’t go to Costa Rica with her.   Look, I know they have contracts, but come on.  This is well past ridiculous.

As the sun comes up on a new day, Alexis is preparing to go home when it’s Heather’s turn to stop by.  Alexis lets her in with no drama, which is really going to piss of Gretchen.  Heather says she hated seeing her so upset.  She just wants her to know, that from her standpoint, she is still trying to figure out who Alexis is.  If she’s that great sweet girl she thinks she is, that’s cool.  But if there is other stuff she needs to work on, then they’ll work on it since they all have stuff they need to work on.  She’s no perfect person either.  Alexis appreciates her saying that and they hug it out.  Anyone else think this could have been achieved last night between the two of them without the dramatic intervention?  Alexis has a few more hours with the girls before she flies out and she hopes it can be drama-free.  Ha… I scoff at that idea.

On the way to the beach, Alexis goes out of her way to thank Vicki for coming to her room, which subsequently makes sure that Gretchen knows she’s still pissed at her.  Yes, angelic little Alexis, we all caught that.  But now they’re on the beach with champagne so all is good… Well, until a raccoon shows up.  Oh no!  Nature with their nature!

Alexis asks Gretchen if they can step away from the group and chat for a minute.  As they walk off, she leaves Vicki in charge of the food.  Ding ding, another “Vicki is my friend” moment.   Holy transparent.  Gretchen says she’s struggling because she loves her as a friend, but it’s hard for her that she let Vicki into her room.  Alexis says she barged in and gave her an earful.  It wasn’t her choice.  Really?  Now who’s throwing people under the bus?  And speaking of earfuls, Gretchen is about to get one and it’s about how she also came to her room to say how badly she felt.  Alexis wants her to realize that it’s actually her that was beaten up and it was her that felt terrible.  And Gretchen didn’t get her back.  Gretchen understands, but Alexis apparently needs to hear again that she does say pretentious things.  And here we go…. Alexis goes machine gun defensive about the all the fancy stuff that other people have and how no one comments on that.  Yeah, again, not about the actual stuff.  It’s the bragging about the stuff for attention.  Clearly Alexis has major insecurity issues which is part of why she brags and got all the work she’s had done.  So, I’m not sure calling her out again is going to help with that.  This goes way deeper.  Besides, Alexis isn’t going to hear it because Gretchen doesn’t have concrete facts.  She only has presumptions and accusations.  Whew, them there’s some big words.  Dang, girl.  And with that, back to America she goes.

OK, if these aren’t the most delusional women on the planet, I really don’t know

Take a gander at these puppies!

who is.  Vicki just said again that she was let into Alexis’s room because she didn’t throw her under the bus like Gretchen.  Really?  You do know that they are filming this right?  But the solemn moments discussing it yet again are disrupted by Tamra who starts pulling people’s pants down, which is inappropriate as far as Vicki is concerned.  That doesn’t stop Gretchen from joining in and we have now escalated to Tamra flashing her boobs.  Yeah, I’m just glad I don’t have to travel with these women.  But I do have to say that I loved the cuteness of the monkey that showed up and stole some bananas.  Now, that would be fun.  Granted they’ve now sent the monkey flare up to all the other monkeys that there are drunk women giving away food.

However, before Planet of The Apes can happen, the girls go off to a wildlife preserve to plant trees in an effort to preserve the rain forest.  Each woman picks a tree to plant and Vicki thinks they should plant one for Alexis.  You know since they’re all being planted together and she doesn’t want her to feel left out should they come back together.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that’s not going to be happening.  Ever.  But they are now bonded in nature forever… and Heaven… according to Vicki, who will be sad when one of them dies.  Ah Vic, always the ray of sunshine.  This thought sends Vicki into tears and I’m starting to think she’s losing her mind for real.  Yeah this woman is seriously a few sandwiches short of a picnic.  But you do have to chuckle that the one tree that falls apart during the planting is Alexis’s.  Hee hee.  But you know who I’m really sad for?  The guy that has had to put up with them for the entire trip.

Wait, we’re not done in Costa Rica?  We have another day?  Ugh…  I can’t take another day.  Now, we’re going White Water Rafting.  I’m already in pain anticipating the shrieking that’s in store for us.  Yep, it’s begun and there isn’t even a boat in sight.  The instructor is introduced to the loveliness that is these women and I really think he told them that there were piranhas in the water just to shut them up.  It worked… for a moment.  Wait, Gretchen wore shoes that she can’t get wet on a rafting trip?  That’s a special kind of stupid right there.  And off they go over the raging rapids, with Vicki screaming the entire way.  Whatever producer signed them up for this gets a big high five from this Winey Bitch.  Hilarious.  The women survive the trip down the river and Vicki is crying again.  Yes, again.  Can someone bring her a xanax cocktail please?  Luckily for her, Heather gets to go to the airport before she has to endure more drama.  Can we go with her?

Back on dry land, we’re treated to beers and  more tears.  That’s right.  More

Yeah, that might have been good advice, but I still don’t like you.

tears from Vicki who is now worried that Donn is going to be sad without her.  Oh dear God!  Listen to Gretchen.  She’s right.  Donn is a grown man and he will figure it out.  I know as women we tend to want to take care of men even after they shit on us, but please try and enjoy one moment of your vacation.  However, I do get feeling badly about what her kids are going through.  That is honest and real and I’m gonna give that one to Vicki.  It is a lot to go through at one time.  Just please stop singing.

Bottom Line:  Oh I’m so happy we’re done with Costa Rica.  That was wholly painful.  Now, it’s time to go back to ‘Merica and our regularly scheduled drama.


8 responses to “Real Housewives of Orange County Season 7, Week 17 – Monkey Business

  1. I LOVED that rafting segment. Did y’all notice that Tamra leaned over the raft and puked at the end? FANTASTIC.

    I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Alexis at that dinner. It was like watching a pack of cheetahs take down a zebra. Sure, the zebra might be slow, and stupid, but you still feel sorry for it.

    • LOL… Ah, I love that metaphor. If only I had come up with it… Ha ha… Yeah, it was hard not to feel badly for her, but only to a point. I mean the message was right. It was the delivery that missed.

      And yes, I caught Tamra puking. The whole segment was hilarious.

  2. Is it bad that I truly wanted them ALL to shut up??

    • It’s not bad at all. I think pretty much the entire country of Costa Rica wanted them to shut up… not to mention the viewing audience. Can you imagine what it must be like to be the cameraman?

    • I think they were right to finally call Alexis out on this. SH have a sueprb article about Jesus Jim & Jesus Barbies previous companies, and it makes for a very insightful and interesting read. Love that Tamra goes flying down the zipwire upside down!

  3. anything in Alexis’ defense or tried to disuffe the situation (including her supposed friend’ Gretchen). If Heather was the stand up’ person she claims when Alexis suggested they should talk alone etc that’s what should have happened. Instead Heather opened up the convo to let Tamra unload on Alexis and bring everyone into it. Tamra is disgusting she is always aware of where the camera is and when to turn her act on. Alexis is def. not innocent, I really just think she’s not too bright but that shouldn’t cause all of the women to go after her like that. She took it for a quite a while it seems before she broke down. Alexis doesn’t seem to go out of her way to be cruel to the others but they sure do it to her. Tamra orchestrated this whole thing and was probably tingling with excitement when all the other ladies jumped on and went for Alexis. I can’t stand Tamra she’s the most phony of them all!

  4. well at least we know if they need a stunt double for the Geico zip-line piggy ..they can use Icky. I relaly want to like Vicky .she just makes it sooo hard with being soooo irritating. I am even softening on Gretchen (minus Slade of course). And, Alexis is just flat out funny how much air is in that pretty little head of hers.

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