Don’t be Tardy for the Wedding: Adieu Recap

Melissa’s Thoughts:

No, the show isn’t over, nor has it been cancelled, it’s just that I’ve dropped too many IQ points watching this insanity that I simply can not go on – no amount of wine can get me through it at this point.  I apologize to you all, but I can’t any more… I really can’t.  I was trying because of my loyalty to the Atlanta Housewives, but I have to cut this one loose.  As a last ta-ta I give you the past 3 episodes in 300 or less.

The ring that launched a thousand hours of a show (so it seemed).

Port-A-Pology

Kim’s Uncle offers to help with her Mom, and escort her down the isle.  Kim and Kroy ask their friend to marry them.  UGH, did she just offer him red wine with an ice cube?!  Kim searches for port-a-potties because she doesn’t want guests using her toilets.  Hmmm, maybe don’t have your wedding at home (no matter how badly you want to show off).  I know what Kim should write for her vows… I love your Falcon’s salary.  Kim runs to her Dad and demands her Mom apologize.

Maid of Dishonor

The tent goes up at Kim’s and she’s NOT happy (shocking).  Kim plots her wedding gift to Kroy… Naked-ish photos (again… Shocking).  Kim’s florist backs out sending her into a tizzy.  Kim’s friends throw her a shower and Jen is still MIA but, KHANDI IS HERE!!  OK, this episode is worth watching now.  In lieu of a Bachelor Party, Kroy’s groomsmen throw a family go-cart party – which is kinda cute on their part.  Jen shows up and Kroy talks to her for Kim.

One Wig Left to Go

The security detail arrives for a wedding planning brief.  Kim hasn’t paid the homeowner Kendra for the extra decorating work she’s done (anyone else feeling the deja vu??).  Because karma is a bitch Kim is sick the day before the wedding.  Jen backs out of MOD duties to stay Kim’s friend.  Kim’s jeweler brings goodies for her to consider for the wedding.  Kendra’s hubby Antonio shows up to talk to Kim and gets turned away.  After all the pretend pomp and circumstance Kim finally shows off her real hair – yawn.  Here’s a question… If Derek isn’t doing her real hair, who is doing the color?

So long Kim Zolciak…

Sorry to rush off friends, but Kim 1-on-1 is more than this Winey Bitch can take.  I’ll be back when she has the rest of the Atlanta ensemble as a buffer.  Maybe you’ll be better as Mrs. Biermann though I have my doubts, but at least Khandi will be there.

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