Rachel: Oh, how delicious… The previews make it look like tonight we have a scandal on the level of a Dynasty episode. At least, that’s what they’re teasing us with. And let me tell you Tyra, if you’re messing with us, I’m coming for you. Well, I’m not actually coming for you because I’m far too lazy, but I am gonna bitch and moan all over this blog about it. How you like that!?!? Yeah, I know it’s probably the usual editing tricks to make it look like something dirty goes down with Laura, but a girl can dream, no?
Anywho, we’re back at the hotel celebrating Laura’s win for best photo. Eboni is confused since the American team one, but there was only a gift for Laura at the hotel. Is everyone on their own, she asks. Are you for real? Alisha says things are getting intense and catty… she’s guilty herself. I just don’t know what she means by “getting”. Pretty sure we’re there. And we hear more about Laura & Eboni not liking each other. OK, this is boring already. Snooze. We know, we know. You both had rough childhoods. You handle yours, Laura, with more grace than Eboni. Can we move along now?
And we move along to more of Alisha complaining. She is pissed and frustrated for being in the bottom 2 when she was never in the bottom 2 on Britain’s Top Model. Well, shit happens, sweetheart. She further can’t understand her not excelling in this competition since she has a better body than the other girls. She’s more high fashion than the other girls. She shouldn’t be having any problems. Well, there you have it. Now, there’s just the small matter of taking good pictures. Annaliese on the other hand feels her star is rising and is feeling pretty secure. She thinks Alisha is deteriorating. I guess they’re not talking to each other.
The girls travel to Hong Kong for their challenge and meet up with Ms. Jay. They are introduced to one of the hottest movie stars in Asia, Nicholas Tse. He’s also a pop star and not hard on the eyes. He will be giving them an acting challenge today and the winner will get to come back to Hong Kong to be in his music video. They will be doing a fight scene today. Laura got paired up with Nicholas to spar since she got the best photo of the week. The girls are all pulling
from their fighting experience, except for Sophie, who is from Oxford, which is not know for fighting… I guess. Eboni thinks it’s not fair that Laura gets to work with Nicholas. Oh well, Eboni. Life’s not fair. Laura doesn’t care what you or anyone else thinks because she’s just having fun flirting her way through sparring. Can’t blame the girl. For the shoot, each girl has one practice run-through and one real take. Eboni goes first and her fighting is good…. acting not so much. Alisha did pretty good, but I think her acting was crap at the end. Annaliese nailed it. Laura pulled the old “let me take this ponytail down and shake out my hair” move, which was cheesy, but she did a pretty good job. Last but not least, Sophie… She was crap in rehearsals but pulled off the fighting. However, she flubbed her last lines.
Nicholas gets to pick the winner. He finds good in everyone’s performance, but Laura wins the challenge. She’s excited and runs into Nicholas’s arms. Nice move, wink wink. The other girls aren’t so exuberant. In fact, when they get back to the hotel, the hateration goes off full-tilt. Sophie makes a comment about her coming back and making little Nicholas babies. Laura isn’t mad at that idea. And that just makes the girls feel like they lost out because they didn’t get to spend time with him the way Laura did. Wahhh…. Big babies. And then Eboni has to put the cherry on the asshole cake by saying that Laura is sleeping her way to the top. Um, did I miss something? Who did she sleep with? I guess no one because Laura goes off about that not being a cool thing so say. And it’s really not cool at all. It’s pure jealousy. Alisha says that Laura saying she would have sex with Nicholas means she really is a “slag”. Oh come on! He’s cute. She was flirting. It’s called girl talk. We all do it. Shit, I have an entire imaginary Hump Island filled with men I’d love to get a little freaky deaky with. It’s called a fantasy for a reason. We don’t dream about Conversation Island. At least, I don’t. And just as we suspected, the dramatic confrontation was more exciting in the previews than in reality. Sigh…
On to the shoot… The girls are shooting at the Macau Tower, the home of the highest bungee jump in the world. The girls will be strapped to a harness and do a photoshoot with Nigel out on the ledge over 1700 feet in the air. To add to the drama, it’s raining and the wind is kicking. Sophie starts crying and Alisha is in full panic mode. Sophie is supposed to go first, but won’t go until she sees someone else go. Laura volunteers to go first, which makes Sophie rethink her strategy. Smart thinking. She gets out on the ledge, but won’t let go of the safety cable. She manages a decent shoot and breaks into sobs at the end. Annaliese almost blows away but does a great job. Laura is working Jay’s nerves because she’s so good. Eboni has to do good because Laura hates her. Um, ok. She does a decent job. Finally, Alisha has to make it happen. She gets out there and works what she has, but I don’t know if it was good enough.
Hey Tyra, since we got screwed out of a real scandal, can we send both Alisha & Eboni home tonight? I’m so sick of their whining.
Judging: Nigel says that Annaliese had great archer moves. Kelly thinks it’s a great warrior pose. Nicholas says it’s dominant but not to the point of being desperate. Alisha – Nigel says the pose is awkward but they went with it because it was the most editorial. Tyra says she looks like she was on her way to church and stopped to say “Ooh child, it’s windy up in here.” However, with a little more neck, it would have been high fashion. Sophie – Nicholas says she doesn’t look petrified in any way. Awesome gesture. Kelly likes that she doesn’t see fear but doesn’t like the pose. She’s not digging it. Eboni – Nigel said there was a confidence that gave her so much opportunity to rock it. There were so many shots where her body was good but the face wasn’t. Kelly doesn’t love the pose which makes it hard for her to know the proportions of the dress. Nicholas thinks it’s a gutsy pose. Tyra likes the pose but she doesn’t know her angles for her face. Laura – Kelly loves it. It’s amazing and expansive. Nicholas loves the face but thinks her legs could be extended. Tyra thinks the picture is beautiful. This is a model that knows her angles. She feels her.
Best photo: Laura
Bottom Two: Eboni and Alisha
Eboni is eliminated but Alisha says she can’t stay. She doesn’t want to be selfish when she knows she can do it on her own. So, she won’t take it away from the other girls. Um, okaaaaaaay. If you could do it on your own, why are you there in the first place? Other than you couldn’t do it on your own. Tyra says she can leave, but Eboni is leaving with her. She’s not saving Eboni by going home. You know Eboni thought she was getting a second chance for a second there. Of course, the CW also thought they were getting another week out of the season…
Bottom Line: Well, I didn’t see that one coming. I was really only joking when I asked if we could send them both home. I didn’t realize I was so powerful. Hmm… perhaps I should ask for the correct numbers for the Powerball…