Bethenny Ever After Season 3 Week 8: Paradise Lost

One Sentence Summary:  Because they have such success with boats Bethenny decides it’s best to take the team down with her.

If I clench my teeth really hard I won’t be able to get the chocolate in my mouth – see!

Melissa’s Thoughts:

Will this be the episode that we finally get the meltdown we’ve been expecting or will Bethenny prove us wrong and end up managing to enjoy and appreciate her time away from work with her friends and family?  I’m going to go out on a limb and say Bethenny won’t be able to stop being negative and appreciate what she has.  Yes, I sit here wringing my hands in anticipation of a meltdown and yet another argument with Jason.

Haggle It, Just A Little Bit

Really B, that thing is work like 10 dollars, we’re not paying 300 for it.

Here we are back in Cabo on Bethenny’s birthday get away.  Over lunch the crew tries to relax while Julie turns the conversation to work much to Jason’s annoyance.  He swiftly decides to change the subject to warning the girls about the scarf man they may encounter on the beach selling his wraps for $60 a piece.  Upon seeing Hermano again Bethenny chases him down to haggle again for his goods.  This time she’s after jewelry.  Wisely she thinks she has to send in her big guns Jason to close the deal while leaving her pretty necklace for a later day.

Drum Therapy

Not sure what the hell we’re going to accomplish, but I loves me some therapy

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest Bethenny loves therapy of any kind… personal, marital, retail.  Bethenny sends Bryn off with RaRa and validates her thoughts to ask her to be Bryn’s guardian.  OK, for real, this is therapy… Playing drums?  OK, if these people live in Cabo and make money with “drum therapy” I’m totally in the wrong profession.  Once the maracas come out Bethenny starts getting in her groove.  OK, gotta ask again how is this therapy?  My only therapy exposure has involved an office with muted tones and a comfy spot to sit and talk through my issues, not channeling my inner Shelia E.

Back-up Mamma

Yes I’ll take care of Bryn… I’ll even go all hand that rocks the cradle if I need to.

On their way to the food festival they stop in a local chapel and talk between Bethenny and Jason turns to renewal of vows but clearly they have conflicting views of their wedding date – oops.  RaRa needs a moment as they leave to gather herself after being reminded of going to church as a little girl with her family who she misses terribly.  Bethenny sees her need for family and decides to pop the question to RaRa about raising Bryn should anything happen to them.  She tearfully accepts the request and the ladies share a good cry.  Ah, family bonding.

Food Festival

Oh sweetie, I’m so drunk I’m not sure if you’re my blonde best friend from college, let me look a picture up on my phone.

Bethenny has difficulty enjoy the whole cooking experience and shuts down in frustration until a lovely “lost” lady strolls along and confuses her with Maryanne.  In true Bethenny fashion she can’t just say “oh I’m sorry, you have me confused with someone else” but completely assumes the “Maryann” persona just to F with this poor lady.  At least she comes clean to the poor lady who might be so drunk she’s really not even processing what she just heard and just laughs everything off.

Fireworks Everywhere

Just when we thought we could relax the craziness comes from another angle

The team hangs out mixing drinks while fireworks explode in the background.  I’m saying these aren’t the only fireworks we’ll get on this trip.  OK, and here’s the bomb bursting at the table… Jason shares that they need to be out of their place in 30 days.  He didn’t want to upset anyone on the trip so he waited.  Bethenny needs to vocalize her thoughts before her nervous breakdown starts and the aneurism explodes.  She’s going to stick a Roman candle in everyone’s ass to get things moving – well at least she didn’t flip out as expected.  Julie admits this is the craziness contributing to why she’s leaving and  newbie Maggie isn’t ready to deal with stepping up – AT ALL methinks.  Here’s what I don’t get… OK, why is the buyer’s home situation problem now their problem?  You sell a house and have a closing date, the fact they sold their house shouldn’t be Jason and B’s worry.  And b.) why would everyone blame Jason?  Alright, never mind, I know why they blame Jason, they always do.

Different Perspective

Surely this boat trip won’t be like the others

Wait, WTF are they doing getting on another boat?  For real Bethenny, you DO NOT have luck with boats.  Why the hell would you ever even remotely consider getting back on a boat?  I don’t care if it’s a little bumper boat, they are bad news for you… BAD NEWS.  As the waves pummel the two boats together, Bethenny decides they need to go back to get Bryn to the safety of dry land.  While Bethenny is getting Bryn to steady ground Maggie starts to lose it, and I’m not sure if it’s seasickness or her impending new role with Bethenny slapping her in the face.  From the beach Bethenny wonders why nothing is normal and smooth… Um, because you have bad boat juju and yet you STILL keep incorporating them into your activities B.  Everyone (minus Maggie) makes it back to the boat for their 3 hour tour.  Jason and Julie share a moment around her decision to leave and his respect for her and the decision.  Jason comes to the realization he really needs to decide if he’s going to join the Skinnygirl team.

A little Bauble For A Near-Death Experience

Come on, there has to be a near death experience discount for an old friend

Bethenny (hopefully) realizes she needs to get off the boats for her own future safety and wellbeing.  In a stroke of genius she turns to Hermano for support and to see if he’ll reduce his price for her favorite necklace.  Bingo, she gets him down to her price.

Tension, party of 2

You don’t listen to me when I tell you what to do, I’m done.

Bethenny and Jason share a relaxing dinner and the topic of work comes up.  Bethenny seems interested to know if he’s staying on the same path or making the move to her company.  He’s frustrated that he’s 40 and hasn’t found “it”.  Here it comes folks… The talk.  Jason thinks Bethenny has been frustrated by him and his lack of success.  He’s involved with decisions, but he’s not really a part of it.  He’s not as glamorous as she is in her world… Bethenny thinks he has a little resentment towards her financial success.  He shares his cave dweller views that he’s used to the idea of both being equals or the husband having more of the success.  You see where this is going folks… this is the high speed to fight city.  She wants him to be happy, and while he wants to be he feels judged for not being able to “make it” – and it has to come from somewhere and he thinks it’s her.  There it goes, the mental doors just closed and Bethenny is done.  After their breather he returns to the table and they declare they will get through it.  Hello Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride of a conversation.  They can’t stand each other most of the time but love each other.

Bottom Line:

Could it be, is Bethenny growing?  I didn’t get my meltdown.  Bethenny, honey, I need you to have a meltdown so my mental benders don’t look nearly as bad to my husband because I can casually get him to watch yours and say… “Sheesh, good thing I’m not like that huh?”.  Help a sista out B!!


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