Dancing With The Stars 14 – Week 3

One-Sentence Summary:  It’s time to hear the stars share stories about their most meaningful year and watch them dance in honor of them.

Oh William Levy, you will be mine by the end of this season.

Our Thoughts:

Rachel:  So it’s time for the story of our lives.  I swear if Jack Wagner dances to All I Need, I may have to change the channel.  Though now that I think about it, I may have actually had that album; at least the 45.  That’s the old fashioned version of a CD for those out there that don’t actually remember when we listened to music on vinyl.  Wait, maybe I’m thinking of Rick Springfield… Well, they were both on General Hospital so it could be either one really.

BTW, I’m watching the cast come down the stairs and there’s a lot of chest happening already.  What’s going on with that?  Do all the men think they’re going to compete with William Levy?  Got news for them, ain’t happening.  Besides if you ask me, it’s really his booty that’s rocking the dance floor.  And that, my friends, you can’t compete with by opening a few extra buttons on your shirt.  Though you can try… Don’t let me stop you. 

Melissa:  This week we have the “year of my life dance”… Which well to be honest, I don’t care for this ho-ha.  I’m really not a fan of this new element, but I have my lovely partner in crime sitting next to me, an empty cake plate and The Spur red wine in my glass… It’s a lovely night.  Bring on the cheese.

Jack Wagner

Jack & Anna dance the Samba to "Lighting Up the Night" by himself

Rachel’s What Happened:  His most memorable year is 2011I think it’s the weird teeth that’s freaking me out.  I just can’t wrap my head around what’s weird about his face, but it’s something and it’s driving me crazy.  Anywho, his year last year is the most amazing.  He met his daughter for the first time at a concert in Florida when she showed up and introduced herself.  She hugged him and he just knew she was his daughter.  Notice how he never mentions the DNA test… I guess that’s not super sexy.  So he will be dancing to one of his songs about celebrating life.  Wait, if this is his song, why isn’t he singing it?  I don’t mean live.  I mean the recording.  And why do they keep putting him in orange?  It’s not good.  Len says he had some happy pills and is in a good mood.  He liked the rhythm especially in the hips.  He thought it was a great mix of steps and his best dance this season.  Bruno says he got the party started.  He was really on top of the driving beat.  Timing was much much better.  Carrie Ann was worried because she was “crying in his package” (Um, “in” his package?) but he totally uplifted the room.  There was something effervescent about him.  Yeah, his package apparently.

Melissa:  He met his daughter at a “concert” in Florida?  WHA??  Why is it I don’t know of this?  Ugh, and of course he has to dance to one of his songs… riiiight.  OK, I’m totally not a fan of this, and I don’t recognize this as his song. Then again, I don’t really know anything past that horrid “All I Need”.  Thankfully, Len had a few happy pills before the show, because I didn’t care for this one.

Score – 24

Maria Menounos

Maria & Derek dance the Rumba to "Material Girl" by Madonna

Rachel’s What Happened: 1988 – She tells us that her family were immigrants from Greece and they worked as janitors at all the local clubs.  She would go to work with them and play Material Girl on the jukebox.  That song made her dream big.  It’s a lovely story but I’m not super moved by Madonna inspiring her.  Sorry.  And what does it mean her parents did a gross job raising her?  I’m confused, but I think it’s still sweet in some way that I don’t fully understand. What. The. Hell.  This song might be the worst remake in the history of remakes but the dance is hot hot hot.  I fully reject the music but dammit if she didn’t rock it… though I’m feeling like there wasn’t enough actually dancing.  Bruno says he felt it.  It was fluid and melodic which was amazing to do with no beat in the song.  Carrie Ann said that was the vertical and horizontal expression of the true horizontal desire.  Say what?  Len says it was a mix of ballroom and bedroom.  Technique was really good.  A tad bit hesitant but overall a beautiful dance.

Up in the contestants area, Brooke asks her about her wresting match the night before.  Wait, she’s a wrestler?  Really?  Uh, ok.  That’s random.

Melissa:  OK, so she went to clean with her parents, but why that year?  I don’t get it?  Maybe I’m over-thinking Dancing, so I’ll give it up.  Wait, that’s not the only thing I don’t get… How is Material Girl, of all songs, done ala elevator music.

Score – 27

Gladys Knight

Gladys & Tristan dance the Foxtrot to "Cupid" by Sam Cook

Rachel’s What Happened:1957 – This is the year she did her first tour with the Pips along side James Brown, Jackie Wilson, & Sam Cook.  Now, that’s a year.  I tell you that Tristan is so cute.  Seriously.  I want to sop him with a biscuit.  I’m not sure it was the best technically but I can’t stop smiling when she dances.  That’s got to count for something, no?  Carrie Ann said her frame improved and it was elegant.  It was sensuous and soulful.  Len says they’re the same age (They’re both 68 this year) but the work & dedication it takes to do this show, he couldn’t do it and he admires her for it.  The frame was better this week.  Can he please be a Pip?  Bruno says she has such grace.  She was absolutely gorgeous.

Melissa:  1957 was the first tour for Gladys and The Pips – FYI Maria… That’s how you pick a year.  OK, you all know I loves me Tristan, and this is just a sweet dance to a great song. I’m flashing back to hanging out with my Dad in the garage while he was woking on his car, and I’m totally all bought in for the song and the dance – you go you two!!  I agree with Bruno, she is grace!

Score – 24

Roshon Fegan

Roshon & Chelsea dance the Samba to "I Want You Back" by The Jackson 5

Rachel’s What Happened:  1996 – This was the first time he saw Michael Jackson live in concert and it made him know he could chase his dream at such a young age.  Chelsea brings in Michael’s choreographer to rehearsals, which is pretty cool.  We’ll see if he can manage to make the Samba work while adding the MJ moves.  You know I would like this kid more if he didn’t like himself so much.  I don’t know.  I just can’t get behind him and the dance was too much Jackson and not enough Samba, in my opinion.  Len said he liked the flair and the devil may care attitude, but he would have liked to seen more traditional samba in there. (See!)  Bruno said MJ would love it and so does he.  Carrie Ann thought it was a great tribute but she agrees with Len.  The MJ moves threw him off-beat a few times.

Melissa:   OK, I really don’t have any snark on the MJ thing.  It was a good dance to one of my fave Jackson 5 tunes.  I will say I was happy he didn’t bust out with a moonwalk this time around.

Score – 25

Gavin DeGraw

Gavin & Karina dance the Rumba to "New York State of Mind" by Billy Joel

Rachel’s What Happened: 1998 –  Gavin & his family went to a Billy Joel concert, and afterwards, he knew that was what he wanted to do.  “Then that’s what you’ll do,” said his father.  The support he got from his family really was what propelled him to try.  After moving to New York, he couldn’t find a gig anywhere until his father showed up and went door to door to find him a place to play.  OK, that’s an amazing story.  Love it.  Whoa!  The hat’s off!  The hat’s off!  Put the hat back on!  BTW, I love me some old school Billy Joel and I’m liking this kid more every week.  His dancing is better this week but there’s also way less footwork he has to deal with.  Bruno says he has hips and he can move them.  He exteneded his arms but he has to watch his turns.  Carrie Ann got caught off-guard because her heart is all fluttery about him.  There was something sexy & sensual about the way he moved.  She has Gavin fever.  Len said the rumba is so slow and every detail shows.  He says he had good hips and arms.  He saw progression this week.

Melissa:  OK, so their Rumba wasn’t bad considering he didn’t really move too much.  I seriously think all the judges are taking their happy pills this week.  Am I the only one who doesn’t understand all these redic high scores?  I mean yeah, they were good.  But really, where is there to go from this week?

Score – 24

Katherine Jenkins

Katherine & Mark dance the Waltz to "To Where You Are" by Josh Groban

Rachel’s What Happened:  1996 – This is the year she found out her dad had lung cancer.  She was 15 when she was pulled out class to say good-bye to her dad.  He was in a coma & in hospice.  Wow, this story is killing me.  Yep, crying like a baby right now.  I really can’t stand Josh Grobin though.  OK, seriously, this girl can do no wrong.  The routine was so beautiful. Not sure anyone is going to be able to beat her if she keeps this up.  Carrie Ann said her dad is smiling down.  It was magic.  An amazing moment.  Len says it was danced with grace & elegance.  There wasn’t quite enough dancing in the ballroom hold, which annoys him because she’s so great in the ballroom hold.  The bottom line is that she’s a wonderful dancer.  Bruno says it was sensational.

Melissa:  Oh man, that’s just horrible.  I really do want to hate her… Such an amazing voice, so sweet and pretty… So unfair.  Alas though I cannot, I think she’s as cute as a button!  That was just lovely.  Really, I adore these two and their dancing.

Score – 29

Sherri Shepherd

Sherri & Val dance the Rumba to "If I Could" by Regina Belle

Rachel’s What Happened: 2005 – Her son, Jeffrey, was born prematurely at 25 weeks weighing 1lb 10oz.  The prognosis was that he’d have Cerebral Palsy and be paralyzed.  She didn’t know how she could go out and make people laugh when this was happening.  But her son is a miracle and is neither sick nor paralyzed.  It’s a lot of pressure for her to dance for Jeffrey.  He taught her how to smile again.  Ok, this show is working me tonight.  Crying like a baby again.  I’m not even mad at Val’s chest this week.  That’s how much the story has weakened the sarcasm in me.  The dance itself was OK, but you know I love Sherri.  Len said it was really heartfelt.  He thought she did a great job with the triple spins.  Well done.  Bruno says mama can move.  It was very deeply felt and very well expressed.  Great job.  Carrie Ann said she’s just so true to herself.  The lines were the best she’s seen.

Melissa:  Oh my!!  As a mom of a 29-week preemie, I totally get it and am welling up just thinking about everything she’s going to put into this dance.  I find myself rooting for her and this dance.  She could fall flat on her ass, take Val down with her and anyone else near them and I still want 10s!  Man, my soft underbelly is all over the place tonight for these folks!  I must be getting sick and it’s sapping me of my snark!  That was a pretty Rumba, not great, but you know what… I don’t care.  I’m all about Team Sherri after this dance.

Score – 24

Melissa Gilbert

Melissa & Maks dance the Jive to "The Dog Days Are Over" by Florence & The Machine

Rachel’s What Happened: 2010 – She was on tour with the Little House On The Prairie Musical… Wait, back up.  There was a musical version of Little House?  What on earth was that like?  I swear Michael Landon must be turning over in his grave.  Anyway, the year is significant because she slipped, fell and hurt her back.  She couldn’t walk, let alone dance, so it’s a miracle she’s here.  And she’s crying again.  Man, I’ve never seen a woman cry so much around Maks and him have nothing to do with it.  He’s actually been likable so far this season…. and it’s freaking me out.  The dance is OK.  The footwork was good but her arms were sloppy.  Bruno said she’s on a mission to put the raunch in the jive.  The opening sequence was excellent.  Carrie Ann loved it.  She was so dynamic.  She is a survivor.  Len said she has come into the competition.  Um, what are they smoking tonight?

Melissa:  Did she just say “Little House on the Prairie Musical”?  I’m assuming it was an off-Broadway production… Like Ada, Oklahoma off-Broadway.  I’m still feeling a bit off with this dance, but since the judges are in such good moods tonight, I’m sure she’ll get the standard 24 of the night.

Score – 24

Jaleel White

Jaleel & Kym dance the Rumba to "For the Cool in You" by Babyface

Rachel’s What Happened: 1994-This is the year he played his character Steve Urkel’s alter-ego, Stefan Urquelle.  The producers saw a man in him that he didn’t even know existed.  It showed him that he had more to offer the world than the geeky kid he was known as.  Man, that Kym really does have to be half-naked for every dance, doesn’t she?  Anyway, Jaleel’s a really good dancer, but I think there’s something too casual about his execution.  I liked it though.  Carrie Ann says that it was good and he is back in the game.  He has the Gregory Hines thing going on. (Now, that’s a huge compliment.)  Len says it was very competent.  He has to get the melody to come out in his upper body.  Bruno says it was played cool and smooth.  It has to be fluid and Len is right about the arms.

Melissa:  Hey now… That was pretty sexy hot business going on.

Score – 25

William Levy

William & Cheryl dance the Salsa to "La Vida es un Carnaval" by Celia Cruz

Rachel’s What Happened: 1995 – He chose the year he came to the United States because you have no future in Cuba.  It doesn’t matter how hard you work, you can’t make a living.  You get bread every day and live on $20 a month.  His father was a political prisoner and was granted asylum in the US, which is how he came to America.  He saw apples for the first time and was hooked.  Yeah, I got your apples right here, William.  Sorry, I can’t help myself.  And I will tell you that the Two Winey Bitches cheered out loud when Cheryl ripped his shirt open.  That boy can move his hips.  He needs a little work on the feet but hot damn those hips!  Ay carumba!  Len said he put a whole new meaning into Free Willy.  He conquered the salsa.  Bruno says, well screams, that it was amazing.  Carrie Ann says that was ridiculously hot.

Melissa:  Oh William, you are a very handsome man. I shall just stare at you for a bit.  No offense meant, but most of that sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher to me.  Brilliant move Cheryl… Pop those shirt buttons girl!  There shall be a lovely fruit basket in the future for you.  Um, yeah… Let me just cool off here for a sec.

Score – 28  –> Including a 10 from Bruno.  Someone is warm for his form.

Donald Driver

Donald & Peta dance the Rumba to "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men

Rachel’s What Happened: 2010 – This is the year his best friend passed from cancer.  He died in Donald’s arms as tears rolled down his eyes and he took his last breath.  Wow.  Here come the tears again.  I’m loving Donald more every week.  He tells us to live life to the fullest.  You never know what each day might bring.  So true.  And he rocked that dance.  What a great way to end the show.  Carrie Ann says the passion he just expressed was mesmerizing.  She was truly touched.  Len didn’t expect a hunky football guy to dance with such warmth & expression.  This whole evening was awesome.  Bruno says what he likes is that he pushes himself to the limit.  This was a very difficult dance and he thinks this will turn out to be a battle of the hunks.

Melissa:  Oh man, this is the night for tears!!  You know I loves me some Donald, and this dance was perfect as far as I’m concerned.  I’ll admit that I was against the “most memorable year”, but really, some of these folks (Donald, of course, included) really pulled from their experiences and turned out some amazing dances.

Score – 26

Bottom Line:

Melissa:   Went into the night with my usual snark, but ended up with tears in my eyes.  What a great night!

Rachel:  Was a good night and no one straight-up stunk.  I’m worried for Gavin.  I think it might be him going home tomorrow.

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