Bethenny Ever After Season 3 Week 6: Maternal Instinct

One Sentence Summary:  You know you’ve arrived when your Mom is selling stories to the Star.

OH MY GOD, full fat tastes so good!

Again I come to you all, head hanging low for my delay with Bethenny, it’s been a crazy week and I apologize.  I DO however have a bottle of Skinnygirl Sangria in my refrigerator, much to my wine guy George’s concern.  He thought I was wasting my money.  OK, so in all fairness I am a sangria snob and only have it when it’s made fresh by friends or my favorite restaurants.    That being said, I am pretty sure it will sit in my refrigerator until some summer pool party when we’ve consumed all the other bottles of wine, beer and vodka in the house (it’s happened).  Then maybe I’ll offer it up to my guests.  This is a good sangria for someone who doesn’t love sangria.  But that’s not all you came here for… Back to Bethenny.

Oh Yes it’s Ladies Night

Dishing on the dudes

Bethenny and the ladies head out for a work dinner.  While Bethenny shares her boat torture conversation (as usual when women get together) turns into all the ladies dishing on their relationships and adding their thoughts on Bethenny and Jason’s relationship.  She sees these evenings like a family dinner with her girls, and they all realize they aren’t “girl’s girls” – not sure what that means, but whatever.

Spy vs. Spy

Right, the camera crew is never a dead giveaway

Paolo (the dog walker) shows up to and claims Cookie isn’t bad with other dogs when he’s with her, so Bethenny and Julie decide to spy on the dog walker to see if he’s legit.  For real, what do these women do that they can just take off in their platinum blonde wigs to spy on the dog?

Hibidy Dibidy talk

Please Bethenny, I'm begging for some lovin'. I'd be happy even with your retainer in!

Bethenny and Jason discuss vacation time to get past the boat debacle and Mexico is their front runner for some get away time.  OK, so the conversation turns to sex and Bethenny says there might be a chance for a little boom boom on the trip and Jason is all over it like red on Bordeaux – I think I saw him make a note to save for the trip – “Remember that Wednesday when she said…”.  At least Jason recognizes what a “gift” it is to have sex with Bethenny.  As the conversation continues Bethenny informs Jason the “behind grind” while she’s sleeping is not a good move.  This whole conversation cracks me up.

For the love of closets

Please, my 50 bikinis need to be free!

Bethenny wants the designer to understand the “suffocation of her garments” including 50 bikinis.  This is a whole new level of order and structure with the bins and bags.  WOW, I just learned the the slanted shoe racks take up more space… GONE will be my slanted shoe racks this weekend if it gives me more space!!  Next up Jason’s closet to help Bethenny learn about him, and determine what he can get rid of in her mind.

Pretty Things Everywhere

I want it all, just make it pretty and call it a day

Bethenny stops at Venfield with Mariette to try to start laying the foundation for the new apartment’s style.  I’m kind of loving this store and all the pretty pieces they have.

What is that a chicken?

Bethenny wants her team to be safe in the city streets so self defense classes it is.

Dwayne, Bethenny and the girls head to self-defense class.  Bethenny is hoping for a secret tough side to all the skinnygirls.  I’m all for it, I think every woman should know how to defend themselves in any situation.  It reminds me of the Roseanne episode where they goto a self defense class and learned to make the “chicken” with their fingers to poke at someone’s eye.  To this day I think if confronted I’d defend with the chicken… Followed by my screaming like a 7 year old while running away.

Mommy Dearest

On the way to meeting with her architect Bethenny’s learns her mom did a tell all for Star magazine and it’s not flattering at all.  Plus, the woman claims she was the one who came up with the Skinnygirl Margarita.  Now here I have to go and get all soft on Bethenny.  It completely horrible for your mother to say such things about you whether they are truth or fiction.  Switching gears Bethenny is meeting with the designers and her Million Dollar Contractor Steve throws her under the bus with Jason saying she wants to get rid of his man cave and make it the main room.

Babies, Babies everywhere

Bethenny tries to make Dwayne feel more at home by giving him all the babies to practice on.

In an attempt to make sure Bryn is protected at all times Bethenny takes her people to a CPR class.  Dwayne admits to having 4 or 5 kids.  I’m thinking really, that’s something you should know.  I mean it’s on thing to forget their age, but your child count Dwayne??

Therapy

Make sure the mic isn't in the shot

Yep, therapy for Bethenny and I’m thinking this one will be geared towards her mother’s recent article.  Her memories of her time with her mother is being dropped off at the roller rink for the day, going to McDonalds after and her mother being beaten – which she didn’t really feel bad about it because it went on often.  Um what?  I can’t understand that at all.  However, this is what has confused her idea of love relationships according to the good captain/doctor Amador.

Decisions, Decisions, and a closet coup

Whenever I call a vote, just raise your hand when I do.

The design team meets Bethenny and Jason to review plans.  Jason has a moment of feeling he’s getting a little something with the separation of the space so Bethenny’s ladies can stay until midnight and working – don’t be surprised when they do Jason, don’t be surprised.  Bethenny makes her play for the closet vs. man cave knowing her designers will all back her in kicking Jason out of his space and giving her a closet of her dreams.

Roller Girl

This got me into a bar once

Bethenny takes her people to the new place to show them their new office area and they will work til midnight… well, she jokes, but you know it’s coming!  Bethenny then because the place is in fact the size of a roller rink whips out her skates and has a quickie class and puts on a little show for everyone.

Bottom Line:

I’m still replaying that roller skating cartwheel.  Has nothing what so ever to do with a wrap up, but that was impressive!  Then again, I am the girl who shattered her wrist doing a kipping pull up.

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