One-Sentence Summary: The 12 new contestants dance the Jive or the Quickstep, but one star’s light is not as bright as the others and goes home.
Rachel: OK, someone has to screw the pooch tonight, otherwise I don’t know how you send anyone home. No one was really terrible last week, which means it will come down to a popularity contest with the home voters if none of the stars do a bad job. Granted, it’s partially a popularity contest anyhow. Kristin Cavalleri didn’t go home in Week 3 last year because she was a bad dancer. It was because people remember her being a bad person on The Hills. So, since I don’t have someone to hate on this week, let me bring up a little something to hate on instead. It’s called the theme song. Hate it. It’s terrible. Seriously, this is the best they could come with in 14 seasons? Isn’t it time to, um, refresh the jingle. Those singers have to be sick of singing ba-ba-ba week. I know I’m sick of it.
Melissa: One more dance for points, and no joke here friends, I couldn’t be more excited!! I loves me some ballroom, and so far I loves me these “stars”. Tonight is the jive and quickstep, which if I may, are not my favorite dances, but oh well, I have a nice glass of Twenty Bench to kick back, relax and watch some Dancing With The (ah-hem) Stars!! Hopefully Cheryl took the hints and William won’t be so covered this week. What?? Like the rest of you out there didn’t consider sending her a box of chocolates to help our cause?
Melissa: The quickstep again is a little no so much freestyle. Well, at least he can bust a beatbox if he starts to falter. Looks like little hip hop boy can rock a quickstep… Impressive young man… Impressive. Len even liked it, which how many times does this happen in week 2??
Rachel: Chelsea says that Roshon has to take his “swag” down, which to him means do some popping & locking. OK, I’m already over this kid. He bugs me. Sorry, I’m sure he’s adorable on whatever Disney show he stars on, but he’s on my nerves right now. He did OK tonight. He definitely took the hip-hop down a few notches, which helped him for sure. Len liked it. He says it had good movement & he loved the Charleston. It was young & fresh. Bruno said it was traditional but had the cheeky swagger he finds delicious. Carrie Ann was worried about the swagger but he turned it into sophisitcation and elegance. He’s her little prince.
Melissa: OK, the more I watch, the more I love Sherri… Girl, there’s some bedazzling coming up for you!! UGH, one little misstep with their slide, but still, I adore her!! She is seriously infectious with her excitement. Plus, Val doesn’t have a partner that caters to his “Val-ness”.
Rachel: OMG, she is freaking hilarious. Honestly, just trying to watch her bounce around with those ta-tas is entertaining. She has to do well because I love watching her. Whoops, missed a pass and pulled a Jennifer Grey a la Dirty Dancing maneuver which just makes me love her more. And Val kept his shirt on two weekns in a row! It’s a Passover miracle. Ok, so it’s not quite Passover, but it’s close enough. Bruno says she knows how to work that magnificent equipment. Tina would be proud. Carrie Ann says she’s in love with Sherri. That was a phenomenal routine. Confidence can take you past mistakes. Len says he felt good. It really worked. He would have liked more jive content but he loved what she did.
Melissa: OK, so we share a name, but I’m not 100% grooving on Melissa. Wait, what?? She dated Billy Idol?? Huh?? It’s a nice Quickstep – nothing too exciting. I like the stairs element. I’m still confused that she dated Billy Idol.
Rachel: Wait wait wait… she dated BIlly Idol? How did I miss that one. I would still date Billy Idol. Seriously. Melissa has a few moments in rehearsals that cause her to break down into tears. She says she cries all the time. I want to rip on her, but I’m right there with her. Everything makes me cry. Everything. Their dancing to this song is weird. The version of the song is weird enough, let alone to watch ballroom to it. She did a pretty damn good job though considering how fast that dance was. Carrie Ann says she had a tiny slip but recovered. She has to be careful about her shoulders and her nerves read on her face. Len says it started off really well but as it went on she lost energy. Bruno says the other judges said the right thing. When she is thinking about the dance, you can see her thought process on her face. But she coped well with incredibly difficult steps.
Melissa: I can’t look at Jack now without thinking about Rachel’s story about him getting bitten by a dog. Not bad. I still don’t get why he looks funny to me… Did I just see crazy eyes from Jack?
Rachel: OK, yeah still not feeling Mr. Wagner. And I’m certainly not feeling that brown and orange outfit. And I’m still not feeling his dancing. Yeah, not sure what it’s all about, but I’m not voting for him. Granted, I only vote in my head, but that’s not the point. I feel like deep down inside he’s kind of an ass. All my perception. No fact base. But we’ll see in a few weeks when it all comes pouring out in some mid-rehearsal rant. Len likes the content & attitude. The thing is that it’s a balance and he attacked the dance but lost a little bit of control. Bruno said he couldn’t give more if he tried. Kicks have to be right on. Wasn’t quite on the beat. Carrie Ann says he’s a really good dancer, but she thinks he over-danced it. Have a little more ease in it.
Melissa: OK, you all know I loves me Tristan. Really, I just could listen to him all day he is so adorbs! The judges aren’t thrilled, but come on… Gladys people!
Rachel: Oh I love this song. Nice choice. Gladys says she doesn’t just want to pass. She wants to step up. She’s trying to fix it so she can bring it. Hell yeah! I adore her. I hope she brings it. Nice, live brass! This routine’s already a winner. Alright, she’s holding her own! It’s a little slower version of the quicktstep but I’m not mad about that. Not sure why other pros don’t slow it down for their partners. Bruno loves her natural connection with music & Tristan, but be careful about her frame. Carrie Ann says she’s extermely light on her feet. It was a bit too casual for the Quickstep, though. Len has to congratulate her for getting through this dance because there’s a lot of technique going on. That being said, he didn’t 100% appreciate the dance tonight.
Score: 19 –> including a 5 from Len… yikes
Melissa: AW, she just said her “naughty bits”… How cute is she?? If she weren’t so sweet I would totally hate her – that voice, that body. OK, I love this!! We all know I think Mark is an awesome choreographer, but this is tight. Girlfriend done rocked her naughty bits all over that stage!
Rachel: OK, she’s just too adorable for words. I kinda love her and hate her at the same time, like my fair partner. Granted all the hate is pure jealousy. I mean is it fair to be that pretty and that talented and that sweet on top of it all? I don’t think so. And now she’s nailing the Jive on week 2. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that, indeed. Carrie Ann says that was so brilliant. Excellent! Len was concerned. She can do full-on dancing, not the just graceful and elegant move. Bruno says the blonde bombshell is released. He knows sexy when he sees it. That’s how you do flicks.
Sidebar: Anyone else think Peta looked like she wanted to rip Katherine’s head off during the scoring?
Melissa: OK, can I just put this out there… I want Kym’s body. Seriously. Her legs are amazing! I’m liking this dance, not as much as last week’s but they put on a good show. I think I like the bouncier jives.
Rachel: I love that he says Kym has a crazy eye. She kinda does. I’m definitely still loving me some Jaleel. He is a really awesome dancer, but it kinda seems like halfway through this dance he kinda stopped trying. I mean he was nailing the steps but not with that super sharp movement that the judges love. Len says it lacked real attack and real speed. It wasn’t sharp. (See.) It wasn’t terrible. Bruno loved the concept very much. He cooks a very good dish. It was quirky but you have to nail the kicks and flicks. Carrie Ann says last week he blew the socks off the place but it needed the extra sparkle. It could have been more if he had not been flat-footed.
Melissa: It’s cute. I like it. The footwork went off, but it was good.
Rachel: Oy, the laugh is back. They definitely have a great chemsity in rehearsal. She says she’s Greek and Greeks are tough so she’s going to nail this dance. Ok, I’ll give her that. She’s starting to grow on me. I think she did better this week. She and Derrick were off on a couple moments but still pretty good overall. Bruno said the frame was nearly spotless. Just missed a step in the run. Brilliant. Carrie Ann says that is what they’re looking for when they talk about the frame, but they got out of sync in the middle. Huge improvement. Len said there was a little incident, but he wouldn’t have made such a big deal out of it. She had speed & control which is important.
Melissa: Practice isn’t so smooth, but come on Martina, rock this. OY, footwork is a mess there to start things off, and really, that fish netting top? Who the hell had that idea, and why the hell didn’t you speak up for yourself Martina?
Rachel: She isn’t doing so much well in the rehearsals, but Tony says she has the talent to get it done. I hope she does well. I’m not ready to see her go yet. Oh Martina… this is not good. She seems like a deer caught in headlights. It’s not quite the flub Chynna had last season, but it’s close and it’s bad enough to get sent home. Carrie Ann loved the approach and her attitude, but she missed a lot of steps. Len says it was too neat and precise. All of it was a little bit careful. She has to come out and attack. Bruno says she got served and it went into the net. She couldn’t keep up with the dance but when she just lets her hair down, she stays in the dance.
Melissa: Oh, I like this!! I love the footwork, like the song, the pace, everything! Oh man, Len admits to under marking Donald. Way to step up, Len. I see these guys going far… Well, I hope so because they are fun.
Rachel: His nickname growing up was Quickie. Yeah, not so sure that’s what you want to be bragging about. I’m liking Donald. He’s a fun guy and he is a good dancer. Again, not Hines, but he’s holding his own. Damn, he’s nailing this! He has to get higher scores this week. Len thought that was one of the best of tonight. He also apologizes for undermarking him last week. Bruno says he had great lines and it was refined & elegant. Carrie Ann thinks all those years of of watching the show paid off.
Melissa: Gavin isn’t grooving on the jive and all I can groove on is wanting to find a picture of him without a hat. OK, he’s not horrible, a bit off, but from his comments I was thinking he wasn’t going to be any good at all.
Rachel: He wants to quit the jive cold turkey. Ha, that was funny. OK, this kid is growing on me. Though I’m still dying to know what’s happening under that hat. Well, he’s still not a great dancer, but he sure is giving it the old college try. Bruno says leather does wonders for him. He likes the Brando does Elvis, but he messed up a lot of his kicks & flicks. But the performance was fun to watch. Carrie Ann says he pushed boundaries and it was a lively performance. Len liked the feel, attitude and energy. It is an improvement on last week.
Melissa: Um, is that a full tux on WIlliam?? Clearly Cheryl isn’t getting a fruit basket from me for that wardrobe choice. Good dance, footwork was a smidge off at one part. LOL, Bruno with another subtle hint to a topless dance… Thank you Bruno!!
Rachel: Hello, William. Lovely to see you again. Very lovely. I’m gonna say he held his own on this dance. I was nervous seeing the rehearsals, but he pulled it off. And did it fully dressed with that booty. Oh, that booty. Carrie Ann says it’s about the technique and he is the Harry Connick Jr of the ballroom. Len said it needed cleaner footwork, but it was good. Not great. Bruno says even fully clothed he has the ability to dazzle. He played it like a matinee idol. Superb.
Score: 25 –> He’s hot but I have to disagree with the 9’s
Rachel: Well, we knew it was coming. Yep, there are the Chmerkovskiy brothers and their their bare chests. So much for the Passover miracle. Looks like I’m eating matzoh miracle-free this year. Oh well… Let’s get to the results.
First three couples on the chopping block are Martina & Tony, Melissa & Maks and Gladys & Tony. Melissa & Maks and Gladys & Tristan are safe. Martina is in jeopardy. This is not surprising considering last night. Poor thing.
Next up the boys: William & Peta, Roshon & Chelsea and Jaleel & Kym. Surprisingly, it’s Roshon & Chelsea in the bottom three. I was thinking it was going to be my boy Jaleel. Whew, there is love for Urkel in America.
Girls turn again: It’s Maria & Derek, Sherri & Val and Katherine & Mark. All of them are safe which sends Sherri into a full-on Tina Turner shimmy. Love her! Has that been said yet?
Which means one of the final three couples are also on the block: Donald & Peta, Gavin & Karina or Jack & Anna. No surprise again, it’s Gavin.
The Results: Roshon is safe, which means either Gavin or Martina is headed home. Don’t really want to see either go, but tonight Martina is saying good-bye. Bummer as I think she was a fun addition to the show. However, she did have the worst performance so it’s a fair elimination.
Melissa: Poor Martina’s going home, but sadly not before she had to wear that atrocious outfit.
Rachel: Yeah, I’m with Melissa here. That was a terrible outfit to have to be sent home wearing. She should have been given points just for agreeing to wear it. Shame on you, wardrobe! And I’m bummed to see Tony going out so early again. Who did he piss off in casting?