One Sentence Summary: More pomp and circumstance for Phaedra’s Prince and a Welcome Home fit for a King – sort of.
Melissa: All I have to say for this week is poor Damon… shopping with what surely will be a Monster-In-Law. I can’t even begin to imagine what she’ll expect as a “suitable” ring for her daughter. Kroy also comes home to get back to the chores that Kim has surely put off in his month long absence. Time to top off friends, I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night!
Rachel: Well, last week, Sheree got herself a storyline for the first time since Chateau Sheree broke ground with her daughter’s pending engagement. I have a feeling she’s going to be unbearable throughout this engagement process. It’s never not about her so I can’t see this being any different. Well, I guess she has to earn her paycheck somehow. And Kroy comes back from camp tonight so I guess we’ll get more Kim too. There had better be a whole lot of Phaedra tonight to make this all palatable. Can we work that out, please Bravo?
Practice for the Prince
Melissa’s What Happened: Phaedra plans out the processional for Ayden’s Dedication Ceremony, which you know since he’s the Prince of Atlanta there’s going to be pomp and circumstance like no one has seen! Why are there flower girls at a blessing? I’m confused. Whoa, Ayden will be in a carrier??
Rachel: Wait, is Phaedra doing a funeral run-through? Does this actually happen in the real world? Oh it’s a Blessing Ceremony… Whew. I was about to say… This seems more appropriate. However, after having seen Ayden’s first birthday party, I can only imagine how this is going to go. The minister looks scared. Wait, is that a chariot they’re planning on bringing their child down the aisle in? Are you kidding me? First of all, how’s that child going to stay in? Second of all, is he going to be wearing a toga and being crowned emperor? Phaedra, I love you but you are nuts.
A shopping we will go
Melissa’s What Happened: Oh boy, it’s time for Damon to see what Shereé is really like when it comes to money. Phaedra knows what her daughter wants and what she deserves. Sorry woman, but sometimes what you or anyone else thinks they deserve is out of the budget. Remember my dear, 3 months salary, not downpayment on a house now. The nice jewelry lady starts him out with a modest 3.5 carat $40K ring (which would in fact pay off his student loans). At least Damon wisely starts to chug his glass of champagne, yes my dear, you’re in for quite an awakening. Oh Shereé, you did not just tell him to go work overtime did you?! Woman, this is not your ring, and something tells me your daughter would love whatever he puts on her finger. Shereé thinks because she had a large engagement ring that her daughter should as well… Clearly not realizing she was married to a professional football player not worried about paying off his student loans.
Rachel: Aw, here we go. I feel bad for this kid. He’s about to get turned upside down and shaken for all he’s got in those pockets. Her daughter deserves beautiful things. Yeah, she also deserves a husband who isn’t strapped for cash while he pays off her ring for the next 15 years. And is this woman really showing this kid $40k rings? Really? And Sheree, you had a huge ring because you married an NFL football player. This kid, last I checked, wasn’t making a pro athlete’s salary. And btw, how’d that ring work out for you? I’m gonna say you could have probably done less worrying about the diamond and more worrying about the man who was giving you the diamond. Oh, I want to slap her. And when did it go from two months’ salary to three months’? I mean I’m not mad at that. Not mad at all. Just wondering.
Melissa’s What Happened: NeNe and Brent have a moment talking about his shuffling back and forth between his parents houses and the potential toll it could be taking on him. NeNe’s focus is on what is best for everyone in the family.
Rachel: NeNe wants to know how Brent feels about going back & forth between houses…. I feel like we’ve been down this path before, no? I feel like your kid might be more willing to talk to you about their feelings if there wasn’t a camera in their face… though I will give NeNe much-deserved credit for actually checking in with her kid.
Melissa’s What Happened: Now I knew Kim “didn’t cook”, but to have an oven that is never used and the microwave used to deep condition a wig (wigs need to be deep conditioned?) is insane. I love that Kim outsources his “Home Cooked Meal” and she’s celebrating her making it through camp. Yes Kim, making lasagna is hard… Especially when you have someone else doing all the work. Really woman, how insane are you?
Rachel: I love that Kim hired someone to make Kroy a “home-cooked” meal. Well, I guess if it’s cooked in your house it’s technically “home-cooked”.
Smile for the camera
Melissa’s What Happened: Phaedra’s plan is to have Ayden’s blessing similar to a coronation – like the Royal Wedding – plus it can be all about her. Um, headpieces Phaedra? You are a crazy woman!!
Rachel: Oh these people love to take a picture of themselves. At least Phaedra doesn’t pretend this is all normal behavior. She loves herself some pomp and she loves herself some circumstance. She’s not afraid to turn both up to 11. Personally, I think we could all use a little more in our lives. More “11” that is.
A decent proposal… after some drinks
Melissa’s What Happened: Damon and Shereé try to decide on the venue for Damon to propose, and Shereé relives her engagement moment that wasn’t a huge excitement for her – oh, and yet more insight to her. I wonder if she’ll try to have dinner with them. Damon confesses he needs a drink or two to propose. Shereé sounds a bit doubtful and I think Damon really just wants her out of the whole equation. He’s not marrying her, but her daughter. Did anyone else see that moment of pause on Shereé’s face at that statement?
Raachel: Wait, why is Sheree involved in the engagement? Doesn’t this boy get any say in how he proposes to his girlfriend? Uh, Damon, I gotta agree with Sheree on this one thing… If you’re not sure you want to propose, don’t propose. Seriously, serious. If it’s gonna take a full bar to get you comfortable with proposing, you may want to take a minute to think about this.
Melissa’s What Happened: Kroy finally returns from camp and everyone is crazy excited to see him… Kim even dressed up for the occasion in track pants. Seriously, the woman wears a maxi dress to answer emails, but her husbands homecoming it’s a tank and sweats?? Kim has been working hard putting up pictures of Kroy – with her front and center of course to make him feel more at home in the house. Kroy looks genuinely happy to be home and with his little boy. Kim tells him she’s fired Sweetie for burning the breast milk and being in the pool while Kim was trying to read her email.
Rachel: Please tell me Kim is putting on something other than sweatpants to greet her man… I guess not. Alright, I’ll get on board with everyone in Falcons gear. That is cute. But oh my word, those pictures of them on the walls… I just barely saw them out of the corner of my eye last week. Now, head on, I’m… I’m…. WHO DOES THAT? You’re naked with your boobs in your man’s hands on the wall in your living room… That’s… that’s… WHO DOES THAT? Wait, Sweetie got fired and we didn’t get to see it?
Prince Akeem, er… Ayden
Melissa’s What Happened: Dwight is running the Dedication too? As guests arrive to the harpist playing I have to wonder if they are confused thinking they are at the wrong place and there is a wedding going on at this church. Cynthia and Peter arrive “on time” so they can chat about the guests not arriving in a timely fashion – yeah, Cynthia who is late for everything. She also takes a moment to snark that none of “the smalls” are in attendance for such an important occasion. Oh, how cure are these kids?? Peter likens Ayden’s arrival to Coming to America and I couldn’t agree more… “the royal penis is clean”. Phaedra’s parents oversee the Dedication and it is a lovely ceremony.
Rachel: Ok, she wasn’t kidding about this being a full-on coronation. Wait, where is everyone? Why is Cynthia the only one there? OMG, Peter nailed it! It’s totally Coming To America. Fantastic!
Not gonna be able to do it
Melissa’s What Happened: Damn and Shereé have a sit down to talk about the proposal and their last meeting. He hasn’t been taking the situation as seriously as others. He’s scared about getting engaged and married because there’s no turning back. Yes Shereé is it scary, allow him that. He doesn’t want to propose right now. It’s the plan and he wants to make sure everything is perfect and now isn’t the right time. He hopes his actions and postponement don’t make her think differently about him. Of course she’s relieved they aren’t rushing in.
Rachel: Someone’s got cold feet… I respect the kid for postponing if he’s not feeling it. I also feel badly for Tierra that this is all on TV. I guess it’s better than having someone stand you up at the after being on TV… You know, gotta look at the bright side.
Melissa’s What Happened: Kim and Kroy show up an hour late but Phaedra is just happy they are able to make it. Phaedra is hoping Cynthia and Kim can get along and just think about the love of Christ. Yeah Phaedra, that’s what will happen. Hello awkward silence, meet my friend foot in mouth. As both Cynthia and Kim leave Kim decides it’s time for a quick ‘come to Jesus” – seems fitting since they’re at church. Cynthia tries to deny what she said anything… Aw LAWD, you’re at a church woman! They agree to move past everything… Then walk away mumbling to themselves. Methinks this will be short lived.
Rachel: Wow, Kim. Why bother showing up at all if you’re gonna be an hour late? OK fine, Phaedra… It’s nice that she even bothered to come. Blah blah… Why is everyone fanning themselves? Is there no air conditioning in this church? You’re gonna spend all that money on a party and not bring in any air? So Cynthia, you want to bring up Africa at the party, but you don’t want to discuss Africa outside the party? How does that make sense? But she owns up to saying something and they bury the hatchet… but in a very shallow grave so it can be dug up easily the next time someone wants to throw a dig.
Melissa’s: Next week Kroy pops the question and we get a Kim and Kroy spin-off?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME BRAVO?!
Rachel: Wait, is Marlo off the show or just on hiatus since NeNe hasn’t really been out and about? I don’t like her but she was fun to make fun of…