Real Housewives of Atlanta – Week 17: The Error Apparents

One Sentence Summary:  It’s time for Kandi to get her country groove on and Phaedra takes her own approach to let them eat cake.

I wish I had more airtime so I could then get my own show... Oh, you were saying sweetie?

Our Thoughts:

Melissa:  OK, full disclosure… Not only am I the weak link this week and not getting to my Atlanta ladies until mid-week, but I also have NO idea what this episode is about other than maybe any additional fallout from Cynthia and Peter’s yawn worthy 1 year anniversary party.

Rachel:  I think I’m getting senile.  Seriously.  I can’t even remember what I watched on this show last week.  I had to go back and reread my own blog to know what to expect tonight.  And I haven’t even been drinking!  No, for reals.  I went to sushi and forwent (is that a word?) my usual cold unfiltered sake in favor of green tea.  You’d think that would help me be a little less foggy, but sadly, no.  Though now that I’m refreshed and reminded, I’m super excited because I’m thinking we’ll get more of Phaedra and her mortician training.  Seriously, nobody can make embalming as good a time as she can.  Do I have to bang my drum again about her own show?  Hello, Any Cohen?  Are you out there?  Kim & Kroy do not need a spin-off.  Phaedra & Apollo do.  Just helping you out.  I’m a giver that way.

Post-Party Enthusiasm

No, Peter isn't sleeping, just talking about his 1 year Anniversary party.

Melissa’s What Happened:  Peter’s recap of the party the next morning was that it went well, it was private and everyone was dressed up for it which was nice. What were you expecting Peter, everyone to come rolling up in their Daisy Duks and t-shirts?  He’s still unsure of what to make of Mal’s behavior, and Cynthia thinks she’s still stuck in the past or going through a midlife-crisis.  Peter is done defending himself to Mal and doesn’t know what her beef is.  Pull it together or don’t come around is going to be the message from Cynthia.

Rachel:  So, Peter loves that everyone was dressed up for the party.  Really?  That’s what you loved about the party.  Oh and that and it was small.  Wow, talk about good times.  Move over romance!  Here comes Peter!  But we all know we’re here to talk about Mal. Cynthia doesn’t know what her issue is…  Um, her issue is that you’re married to a tool.  She just doesn’t realize that you don’t care.

Friendship Rekindled

I really want my own show so I don't have to talk about anyone else.

Melissa’s What Happened:  Kandi pays a visit to Kim (maybe without Shereé the whole story can be told) to discuss her last visit and the argument.  Kim doesn’t appreciate Cynthia who she doesn’t really know saying some “racial shit about her”.  Again, I don’t think race has a damn thing to do with it to be honest.  When do we ever see Kim holding her own child for more than 5 minutes let alone someone else’s??  Come on Kim, you’re on the hunt for a Nanny because you don’t have time to take care of your son.  I digress, they miss their friendship and they need to communicate better.

Rachel:  OK, I’m seriously loving that cabana and I hate loving anything Kim has done.  It’s time to work through the Africa accusations now that Sheree’s not there to stir the pot.  I do love that they can’t just say sorry and move on.  No, they have to blame someone so let’s deflect it onto Cynthia!  That’s right, Kim is mad about Cynthia saying racial shit about her.  Yes, Kim.  Get mad about “racial shit”.  Hi-larious.  But we’re witnessing a friendship coming back together.  Kim is cool moving past the money issues they had with her music.  Yeah, cause you got yourself hitched to a new money train.  Wait, how many wigs does Kandi rock in these interview segments?  I can hardly keep up with her

Crazy Hour

Tell me how I can get all the press and airtime of a divorce without having to get rid of my husband so I can keep getting gifts from my business partner but still have an excuse not to date him.

Melissa’s What Happened:  NeNe meets with her divorce attorney to discuss how to continue with the separation / divorce.  While she’s positive she’ll get scooped up once her divorce is final (and her partner John might just be the man to do it), she still has mixed feelings about losing Greg as her partner in life.  How much do you want to bet Thad is new to the firm and it’s “meet the crazy clients week”?

Rachel:  Holy jingle bells, NeNe!  Take the damn earrings off!  You’re killing me.  Boy NeNe sure loves showing off her girls.  Who goes to their lawyer’s office with their na-nas hanging out?  Well, I guess someone who’s looking for a way to pay the bills outside the traditional check-writing.  Why is her lawyer pushing her to sign so badly?  I guess someone needs some more billable hours.  Personally, I like Greg… Then again, I don’t have to be married to him.  Um, is Thad in the room just to smile and nod?  He’s a little bit creepy.

Speech Time 

at least he's not texting and driving...

Melissa’s What Happened:  The Mason Lodge has asked Apollo to speak at a breakfast with the “Passport into Manhood” theme and share his story.  Phaedra thinks the event will help him speak to families at the Funeral Home.  Seems Phaedra is fine with taking her sweet time getting in to support Apollo.  He’s adorably nervous until he sees his wife arrive and he settles down.  I like his message… until he goes to the “I want the check” closing.

Rachel:  I love that Apollo is speaking about his journey into manhood.  I don’t love that he’s reading his speech while driving.  I do love that him seeing his wife in the audience gives him comfort and confidence… even if the message of his speech is “It’s all about the Benjamins”

She’s a little bit Country

Now that they are friends again is Kandi getting her own line in the Kim Z wig collection?

Melissa’s What Happened:  Kandi is back with the Country music… I forgot about this venture… Working on her song with Lil’ Ronnie before taking it to Jo Dee Messina.  Hang on… what just happened to the bangs??  She’s a little concerned about being the musical equivalent of a Freshman all over again.  Did she just call him Benson when he offers to drive?  HA, I’m still chuckling to myself.

Rachel:  Oh yeah, I totally forgot about Kandi’s country music career.  I kinda like the song she’s singing…  Don’t tell anyone though.  WAIT!  Kandi just had two different hairdos wearing the same dress in her one-on-one interviews!  Seriously, it’s freaking me out!  How about just one per episode?  It’s distracting me.

Motherly Advice

Maybe if I pretend to smile she won't notice I'm really against the idea of anyone being happy since the Bone Man said I'll never marry again.

Melissa’s What Happened:  Shereé stops to visit her daughter Tierra to congratulate her on landing a great job in television.  Tierra shares her thoughts that her boyfriend Damon might be shopping around for a ring.  Shereé can barely disguise her concern for her daughter and that she needs to have her own money set aside for when it doesn’t work and Damon needs to call her before he does anything.  What he needs her approval?  Does she need to lecture him too?  Lighten up Shereé, just because your marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean theirs won’t… Pretend to be happy and supportive of your child.

Rachel:  Ok, more stuff that confuses me.  This apartment where Shereé is visiting her daughter… Isn’t this the same apartment where Sheree was living while building Chateau Shereé?  Or were we not supposed to remember that?   Boy, could Shereé look less thrilled about her daughter possibly getting engaged?  Mama says you need to have your own bank account.  I’m with mama.  Well, about the bank account; not the Debby Downer marriage sucks rant.  Lighten up, Shereé.  You’re becoming a Sherew.

Melissa:  I thought Tierra’s place looked familiar!!

Haters gonna Hate

Mal stops by, suitcase in hand, for one last attack on Cynthia's marriage disguised as an apology for her behavior at the party.

Melissa’s What Happened:  Mal is ready to head to France and wants to apologize before she leaves.  She didn’t mean for the incident at the party to happen.  Finally Cynthia might have a backbone and stand up to Mal and get her to understand it’s not her life.  Mal only sees Peter’s failures when she looks at him – um, why do you care?  Cynthia attempts to reverse the game and share her opinions of Mal and Chris’s relationship and it doesn’t sit well with sister.  Mal plans to let Cynthia live her life and concentrate on her life in France.  I have an odd question, what was with the bringing of the suitcase into the Agency?  Wouldn’t she just leave it in the car?  Did she walk there from wherever she was?  I don’t get the prop… Someone please explain!

Rachel:  Oh it’s time for the sister showdown.  Mal comes to apologize and Cynthia wants to know if she is going to apologize.  Seems she can’t hear Mal’s apology because she’s too busy trying to give her a hard time about her marriage.  Um, take the anger down a notch Cynthia.  She’s actually trying to say she’s sorry.  I guess she’s can’t hear it because she doesn’t like her sister right now & she needs to go back to France.  Damn, remind me not to get on her bad side.

Let them eat cakes!

a 12 cake presentation isn't over the top... Not for Phaedra!

Melissa’s What Happened:  Phaedra puts on a party for Ayden’s first birthday.  Dwight is oohing and aahing over Phaedra and her legs, but methinks it’s so he can do the same over Apollo’s bare upper torso… Just sayin’.  Wait, the party is at a water park 2 hours away?  What’s with that?  There are no pools or water parks closer to home?  OK, hang on, there’s a cake presentation?  What is that?  I’m all for cake and the more the merrier, but does a year old child need 12 cakes?  Did Dwight just say “last but least” cake??

Rachel:  I love that Dwight wears a suit to a pool party.  Shereé is mad that she had to go two hours on a bus.  If you didn’t want to go, you should have stayed home.  No one would miss you.  I certainly wouldn’t.  Wait wait wait… You know I love me some Phaedra but what the hell is going on with the cake presentation?  Twelve cakes?  I mean no one loves cake more than me – and by no one, I mean NO ONE – but that’s excessive.  Although, I’d be more than happy to volunteer to help eat them all.  This woman is not afraid pomp nor circumstance.

(F) Bombs Away

I confess... I dropped the F-bomb but what do you expect, you've seen my rap sheet.

Melissa’s What Happened:  Marlo is back on her nasty little F-bomb finally owning the comment.  I wonder what her etiquette book says about the appropriateness of a derogatory comment.

Rachel:  Ok, is Marlo seriously arguing about whether or not she should be able to say faggot?  Really?  She is hateful.

Not sayin she’s a gold digger… 

What do you mean there's a budget for my daughter's ring??

Melissa’s What Happened:  Shereé meets Damon for lunch and at least the boy is smart enough to be concerned.  Hang on, is she really making a play that he is to ask Shereé’s permission?  Really?  Shereé, the reason your divorce from Bob was negative is because you went into it with “I want what’s mine”.  Oh no you did not just suggest to that boy to shop for 3 carats.  Come on now Shereé.

Rachel:  This woman is making me crazy.  She is mad because her daughter’s boyfriend talked to her ex about getting married.  Um, isn’t that the tradition?  You ask the father for the daughter’s hand in marriage.  And she considers Bob her father so…  Though it would not be Shereé if she didn’t make it all about her.  Yes, Shereé, you got divorced.  Yes, it happens.  But for the love of all things holy, stop raining on their parade.  He’s handling himself though… but boy did he start sweating when mommy said she’d help him shop for a 3-carat ring.  Run child, run!

Music Time

Studio Time with Jo Dee Messina and her musicians

Melissa’s What Happened:  Kandi’s a bit awestruck by having so many people there to test out the song, in her world the tracks are all put together before she get’s to it.  I’m kinda digging the song, it’s a kicky little tune.  Ice cap is having a night for their song writers and they want to play the new song for a live crowd and Kandi’s absolutely nervous of the small venue.

Rachel:  Aw, I do love being in a studio with musicians recording music.  Most of the rest of the biz drives me up & down the walls, but this makes me all sentimental.  Jo Dee rocks it out.  Teamwork makes dreams work… Nice one, Kandi.  I wonder if Kandi has any idea how awesome being at an ASCAP show at the Bluebird Cafe is.  I love that she’s there. Go Kandi!  Twang it out!  Aw, what a nice moment.

Looking answers

Even the Therapist is skeptical about NeNe seeking therapy to decide if she can have her cake and eat it too.

Melissa’s What Happened:  OMG REALLY HOUSEWIVES??  You know I’m pretty much wanting to check out at this point.  NeNe wants her cake and eat it too when it comes to Greg and her relationship with him.  She decides she needs more time to figure things out, because a year isn’t enough time to work on eating that cake.

Rachel:  I like that she is seeking some advice (aka: therapy) for her relationship.  That’s actually rather mature, I must say.  And we know it pains me to say it.

The Bluebird Cafe

Kandi and Jo Dee debut their new song to a packed house

Melissa’s What Happened:  Kandi and Joe Dee roll through their new song at the Bluebird to the audience and Kandi thought nervous had made her first step into Country and from the audience reaction it’s a good first step.

Bottom Line:

Melissa:  I kinda wish I was invited to that cake presentation… or the show at the Bluebird Cafe.

Rachel:   Looks like Phaedra is taking the pomp and the circumstance up a few notches next week… as if that were possible.  Can’t wait to see that!

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