One Sentence Summary: Vicki’s head explodes when Slade shows up at Tamra’s party and the shrapnel lands directly in Gretchen’s lap.
Rachel: And we start tonight’s episode back at the moment where Tamra’s party went from fun to done. Everyone was having a good time, until Slade showed up. I have a feeling he has that effect on most parties. I seriously am at the point of not being able to look at him, and that mullet sure isn’t helping matters.
As Vicki quietly fumes in her too tight gym shorts, Slade starts drama. Well, Gretchen lit the fuse and Slade ran with it. Vicki leaves because she thinks he’s a piece of shit & she wants to see her daughter. But we all know she can’t just leave without saying something. And it’s on. Vicki’s sorry she’s not pretty enough for Slade but what he said was mean. Gretchen wants to know what the difference is between her calling Slade a dead-beat dad and him saying she’s ugly. (Which… well…) And then, the bomb… How is it OK to date Brooks who went to jail for failing to pay child support, but Slade is a bum. That’s the straw and Vicki’s back is broken. She’s now screaming like a banshee that Gretchen doesn’t know about it because she’s not a mother. Her boyfriend is not Gretchen’s business… but Slade is Vicki’s? Boy it’s amazing how Vicki can manage to scream out of both side of her mouth and her ass at the same time.
At that, Vicki goes storming out and Tamra chases her down. She’s sorry that Vicki had to endure that, but she shouldn’t let Slade get to her. He’s not worth it. Vicki just doesn’t understand why she would invite Slade in the first place. Tamra says she invited all the men, including Slade, because she couldn’t not
invite him. Yet she didn’t invite Alexis’s husband Jim. Vicki has way more to worry about than Slade & Gretchen, then heads off into the night. But if you’re wondering if this was the downfall of the Gretchen-Tamra love train, the answer is no. The train is still on the tracks.
Back at what’s left of the party, Tamra asks Heather’s husband if the recovery time for getting implants removed is the same as having them implanted. Terry says no it’s much less. Wait, is she actually going to have her implants taken out? Isn’t that like removing half her personality? And of course Gretchen mentions that Alexis is getting a nose job… er, sinus surgery. Tamra calls her out for having a nose job. Alexis hears the conversation and takes offense to Terry speaking badly about her, when she should be taking offense to Tamra who just said she has a big nose to her face. Terry, on the other hand, had no idea who they were talking about and looks like a deer caught in giant plastic headlights. Lord, these women are bananas. Fight number two officially kills it and everyone heads home. Heather & Terry are dumbstruck by the drama and have a good highbrow laugh at the ladies’ expenses. And yes, Heather you do need to speak in small words around these women.
Meanwhile over in Sanity-ville, Briana gets a visit from Donn. You remember Donn, Vicki’s ex that is still living in her house probably in some closet she gave him. Briana considers him her dad since he has raised her, but she doesn’t know
where her place is with him now. She’s spending some time with him catching up before she goes in to have surgery to have her thyroid removed & to find out if she has cancer. I mean these grown-ass women scream & shout about all their self-created drama. Then there’s Briana who’s barely in her 20’s, having an actual real-life drama and handling it with grace. Unreal. Donn looks great. It’s like he got a face-lfit. A no-more-Vicki-dragging-me-down facelift. Wow, this girl is so calm in the face of potentially having cancer. I’d be a total mess.
So we catch up with Gretchen & Slade the next to find that Vicki apparently continued last night’s argument over text message. She says she won’t tolerate dishing it to her about someone she is dating. She really lives in a deluded world that Vicki. Slade says she has nothing but cotton stuffing for brains. Well well well, we finally found something we can agree on.
Oh it’s surgery day & Alexis will get to breathe with her new nose! Whoa… Alexis with no make-up. She looks like a different person. She’s actually cuter with no make-up and looks about ten years younger. Why do they spackle themselves with so much make-up? Jim & Alexis pray to Jesus before her surgery. I’m just going to keep my mouth shut about that one. If I were going to say something, which I’m not, I’d say something about how Jesus is probably not a big plastic surgery fan. But I’m not saying anything, so I won’t.
Now, Briana’s surgery, which according to the editing is also today, is something to pray about. Vicki isn’t sure she can get through this. Um, did you hear what your daughter just said? Stop making it about you! OMG, this woman needs copious amounts of therapy. Now. Today. Please. Seems we’ll have to wait til next week to hear about the results of the surgery.
I really think Vicki needs an asshole intervention… Well, her whole person being the asshole. Not her actual asshole. OK, I’ve said too much. Shutting it down.