Real Housewives of Atlanta – Week 15: From Motherland to Haterville

One Sentence Summary:  Things aren’t much better on home soil for the ATL Ladies.

Our Thoughts:  

Kandi's about done with Shereé's pot stirring. Maybe she'll try to get her kicked out of club smalls.

Melissa:  I’m solo for Atlanta this week so that my wonderful partner can focus on “real life” or as I call it… The stuff that pays the bills, so hang on… This Winey Bitch is ready to go!  I have no clue why I didn’t have an episode waiting for me when I got home, but maybe Bravo is trying to stretch things out since they are clearly searching for material.  Hey Bravo… how about giving the Two Winey Bitches a slot?  We’re funny, and Andy we’ll come up with more drinking games for you!  OK, sorry for the self promotion there.  The ladies head back to ATL only to find NeNe’s son arrested and a spitting mad Kim (thanks to Shereé’s pot stirring).

Pack ‘em up and move ‘em out

Please don't let my things touch

What Happened:  The ladies assault on South Africa comes to an end.  As they prepare to leave, Marlo takes one last opportunity to boss the staff around and have them pack her belongings so she can enjoy her yogurt.

Melissa:  UGH, did I have to start out with Marlo advising the staff how to pack her shoes so they don’t rub against eachother?  You’re not Prince Charles honey, you don’t need someone to individually wrap your shoes or brush your teeth for you.  I hope that girl snaps one of the heels as they’re in the bags.

Dinner Breakdown

Please take me seriously

What Happened:  Cynthia and Kandi discuss the fallout from dinner and the snarkiness from NeNe about checking in with “their boss Kim”. Both agree that the evening did not go well at all.  Unfortunately, none of the viewers can pay attention to the conversation with Cynthia’s ridiculous hair.

Melissa:  WTF is going on with your head Cynthia?  I’m sorry I’m too distracted by her head to pay attention to the conversation they are having about last night’s dinner.

Back home

Why doesn't everyone stop what they are doing the moment I speak??

What Happened:  With Kroy gone, Kim can’t manage being a single mother with just her 2 housekeepers and grows increasingly annoyed with Sweetie for not helping in her search for a nanny. She’s a busy woman and needs help!

Melissa:  OF COURSE Kim needs a nanny… God forbid she take care of her child.  Really, you’re doing in on your own?  With your 2 housekeepers?  What, your crying child is too distracting and you can’t read your emails?  Woman please, I can count off multiple women who are or have been real single mothers without a staff who manage just fine.  Frazzled running around the house?  UGH, you are a mess.  Excuse me, but what “work” do you do?

Cynthia’s House

I brought you the best present ever - ME!

What Happened:  After being gone 10 days and not calling home to check on anyone, Cynthia returns to find her daughter and Peter bonding and enjoying their time together.  As she passes out her South African gifts – well, passes them to her daughter she realizes she forgot Peter… he should be happy with just her, right?

Melissa:  I’m shocked Cynthia didn’t call home while she was traveling (I really need to determine a proper sarcasm font just in case anyone misses it), nor did she think to even pick anything for Peter.  Geez, pick up a t-shirt or bumper sticker or something!  Can anyone tell me why is Peter planning an anniversary party?  Shouldn’t you wait until you get a few years under your belt?  Unless of course you’re shocked you made it that long.

Mamma Time – it’s like Hammer Time, with a little guilt

Mamma will understand... maybe.

What Happened:  Khandi comes clean to Mamma Joyce about her agreeing with Cynthia about Kim not going on the trip and to the orphanage in hopes that mom will side with her. Mamma Joyce does not seem convinced.

Melissa:  OK Khandi, tell mamma Joyce what you said about Kim and see what she thinks.  Really sweetheart, you kinda did stick your foot in your mouth agreeing with Cynthia.  Side bar:  Khandi, I’m loving that bob of yours in your break out interviews… looks awesome!

Kim’s House

What has she done to my house??

What Happened:  While Kim oohs and aahs over fabric samples, Kendra the home owner worries about how much effort it will take to put her house back in order when Kim’s lease is up on the house.  We also get a rare glimpse of Kim actually holding her child and not passing him off… No, there’s the housekeeper taking him to change him.

Melissa:  Wait, she’s leasing the house?  She vomited tacky in a leased house??  I sure hope that part of the contract was putting it back the way it was.  Kim is plotting to turn on Sweetie?  Really, I’m still confused with what Kim does that she needs an assistant.  Why Sweetie hasn’t run for the hills because of this crazy woman is beyond me anyway.

Chateau Shereé drive by

Um, where's the Chateau?

What Happened:  On their way to Kim’s Phaedra and Kandi decide to swing by Chateau Shereé to check on the progress. Well, the progress is a small hole and some dirt moved from one place to another which starts the ladies thinking Marlo might actually have been speaking the truth about Shereé’s finances.

Melissa:  Um, looks like Chateau Shereé is a little… well, just a hole in the ground.  Wasn’t that there months ago?  Man, who is building this place, ants??  I love the unison “humph” by the ladies.  Of course Shereé will be upset that you both went there without her to tell you why there isn’t any progress.  I’m thinking she’s going to blame licenses or the builder coming down with swine flu or something.

Ladies Lunch at Kim’s

Yeah, and can thou believe she then she said...

What Happened:  Shereé gets to Kim’s early to keep the pot stirred. Guess now they are out of South Africa she’ll need someone else to fight with… Kandi’s turn!

Melissa:  Wait, Kim has a chef too??  Really, what does this woman do that she’s all frantic running around the house.  I also can’t believe Shereé is talking smack on Kandi.

Peter’s got a Plan

I want it cheap... it's only been 1 year...

What Happened:  Peter decides since their marriage made it a whole year they should celebrate the success. Just in case he needs ideas he calls NeNe for backup. Unfortunately his frugal hopes don’t align with NeNe’s lavish thoughts. Once she’s there he takes the opportunity to talk to her about Bryson and bailing him our of county jail.

Melissa:  Again, I ask who throws a party for just one year?  Black tie event from 7 to midnight for 150 people but minimal food.  Really Peter?  If you don’t want to spend lots of money to feed your guests, throw a brunch garden party, not black tie at dinner time.  I do love that NeNe’s wonderful at spending others money.  Maybe she should think more about her family than helping parties.  Your child was arrested… Ever think maybe he’s trying to get your attention?  Apparently he needs to “learn a lesson” and in NeNe’s world that’s sitting in lock up.  Maybe she needs to learn a lesson as well… has she ever stopped to think he’s this way because of her?  Oh, look at me – trying to apply logic!  Must be the wine talking.

You said what now?

Now listen here, I just agreed with Cynthia... I didn't start the conversation.

What Happened:  Tensions mount at Kim’s Lunch for the ladies since Shereé got the pot stirred. Kandi tries to defend herself and clarify what she said and didn’t say while Phaedra wisely keep her mouth closed and watches from the good seats.

Melissa:  Oh Shereé, why must you act this way?  No Kim, none of us think you would have gone to South Africa… we get that you have so much going on in your life and your family comes first that is why you’re so concerned about making sure there’s a staff in place to take care of them.

Bottom Line:

Melissa:  Wow, the ladies are coming unhinged, can’t wait to see what happens next!!

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