Bethenny Ever After Season 3 Week 3: The Damaged One

One Sentence Summary:  Bethenny decides to play matchmaker… because she’s so good with her own relationships.

Our Thoughts:

Ah, the life that Skinnygirl bought

Melissa:  So I missed last week, I was on a little vacation and my DVR didn’t record.  SO I had no recap for you, but here’s what went down on Episode 2: Alias Benjamin Frankelin:  Bethenny takes her girlfriends on a girl’s weekend in Montauk where they start the pressure for baby #2.  I still haven’t gotten any Skinnygirl Sangria to drink… this weekend, I promise.  For now a nice light La Crema Pinot Noir will have to do.  This week Bethenny and her crew head back to the Hamptons for a family get away.

Back to the Hamptons

How could you kill Raccoons??

What Happened:  Bethenny and her crew head back to Montauk for the weekend to get away from the city and relax.  Sadly the tranquility is punctuated with tragedy… Jason’s slaying of 4 raccoons on the way up.

Melissa:  Why didn’t Jason stop for the raccoons?  Um, because no one does.

Time to hook it up

Let's figure out how to hook my girls up under the guise of hooking you guys up

What Happened:  While having lunch Bethenny decides she needs to set up her Skinnygirl Nutrition partner Matt and his friend with some ladies – at least get them to 1st base. Julie’s sister Joanie is the sacrifice for the trip and Matt is happy to go along.

Melissa:  Right, she has a stellar track record of 1 fix up, why not stake claim to being an awesome matchmaker.

Skinny Girl Cocktail Party


What Happened:  Every year Skinnygirl has a party at the yacht club to celebrate the brand and drink to… well, the brand and success. While Bethenny is the proud peacock over her matchmaking skills, there’s more fun to be had at the “photo booth”.

Melissa:  I want to have a cocktail Party for an alcohol line.  OMG, Two Winey Bitches wine!!  How awesome would that be?? I need to get my partner in on this one!  Any winemakers out there want to hook this up?  I’m telling you, it’s a party in a bottle!  Bitches White, Bitches Red and Bitches with Bubbles.  Can one bottle sarcasm??

The Morning After

Did anyone get lucky last night?

What Happened:  Bethenny isn’t thrilled with Jason’s mockery of her outfit (she has a valid point, that pink ensemble is brilliant, especially the hat).  He also doesn’t care for her comments about whether Joanie should play the Matt card or check out her other options.  To try to get past that argument she tells him she’s the tortured one in the relationship because she’s more complicated, and he should be nice to her.

Melissa:  Really Jason, you thought that conversation was a bit too much?  You have no clue about women… That was NOTHING!!  I can pretty much give you intimate details of the sex lives of almost every one of my girlfriends… that’s just how we roll, we don’t filter when we’re alone, and I think once and a while Bethenny just assumes you’re another woman.

3 Hour tour

Time for some alone time... with the captain.

What Happened:  Bethenny and Jason head out for a boat trip to the beach without the little one so it’s like a date since they aren’t “working”.  A chance to talk and spend some one on one discussing their future and their new apartment which makes B feel like a baller… shot caller – her words folks. While out, the engine breaks on the boat and they need to use the sails to hopefully get to their destination.

Melissa:  She just called herself a baller and shot caller… I might have to give up this show.

Decisions… Decisions

Just make it exactly the way I want it. Here are 20 reference books of what I like.

What Happened:  Bethenny brings her dream team together to look through her inspiration book to plan the apartment.  Unfortunately, all the work they want to do would take 6 months, but they have to move in 2… Good Luck folks!

Melissa:  Inspiration books huh?  Has she been planning this for the last 20 years?  OK, I give, I tear crap out of magazines all the time… and I have about a dozen Russel + Hazel binders stuffed with the pages.  I put them in pretty binders so it doesn’t make me seem like a hoarder.

Spa Time

Thanks for the seawater, remind me to skip it next time.

What Happened:  Bethenny needs a little massage time to relax and they offer her a shot of sea water to cleanse and detoxify.  Meanwhile Dwayne sees it as an opportunity to flirt with the staff.

Melissa:  Life is like a Spa Day… until they make you take a shot of sea water… and in help the silent killer creep in.

Day Drinking anyone?

Cheers to day-drinking!!

What Happened:  While Jason’s parents take Bryn to the park (to play in the sandbox – ick) Bethenny and Julie enjoy a moment of silence and a little day-drinking action to relax.  Informing the front desk that they are not to be disturbed for 20 minutes.  They take the time to reflect on starting out just the two of them and how easier life was back in the day.

Melissa:  Ain’t nothing wrong with a little day drinking!!  I can’t wait until summer when I get to day drink all weekend long by the pool… No one challenges a cocktail at 11am when you’re sitting poolside.  Oh yeah, I totally didn’t pay any attention to B and Julie’s reminiscing because all I could think about was day drinking.

Let’s talk

I just don't understand why I'm not happy and don't miss my husband when he isn't around

What Happened:  Bethenny tells her therapist she misses Bryn while she’s with Jason at his parents house, but not necessarily missing Jason.  His solution is to  suggest a relationship renewal workshop on a sailboat to understand how to make the marriage stay afloat.

Melissa:  First of all, I’m not even going to share my annoyance with public therapy, but second, let me raise the warning now that their last sailboat trip they lost their engines.  I’m thinking that might not be the best idea.

Team Building (aka Therapy for couples)

It's team building... why aren't you a team player?

What Happened:  Bethenny spins the couple’s workshop as a team building exercise.  Jason doesn’t believe in therapy so it’s not a shock his red flags go up that he’ll be analyzed the whole time.  Her goal is seems is to push him into therapy by saying he’s not perfect and maybe he should be and starts a fight.

Melissa:  Way to go B, team building and not therapy – surely he’ll fall for it.  Bravo on manipulating him into agreement as well.  Maybe I can learn from you oh wise one.

Bottom Line:

Again, winemakers out there… Who is interested in a brand extension?  Two Winey B’s – it’s a party waiting to happen.  Plus, the Winey Bitches know and appreciate wine… This could be a whole new awesome venture.  You call us, we’ll make a deal!


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