America’s Next Top Model British Invasion – Week 1, Kelly Osbourne

It's the Americans vs. The Brits in this season's ANTM

So, I still love me some Tyra and some models, but this show is getting tired.  That’s why I will cover it, but I can only dedicate 500 words to the cause.  This season is British models vs American models.  How bad are the ratings on this show that each season they have to come up with a new gimmick?  US vs UK?  I didn’t realize we were still at war with England.  And every season past has been about the ability to work in international markets, but this season is about working in America.  I’m already confused.  Are we at all concerned that America isn’t going to win this… not that I have that much of a national sense of pride that I truly care, but America’s gonna win.  I’m not saying that Tyra ever sways the results – Whitney the first plus-sized winner – but what will it say for this show if Americans don’t win?  Though the Brits do have an enjoyable accent…

Anyway, what else is new is that we have a new judge in the form of Kelly Cutrone.   While I already miss Andre, Kelly’s going to rock these girls’ worlds & it’s going to be delicious.  They have no idea what’s coming.  They’re going to be wishing Janice was with them.  Yippee!

So we start with a pose-off… Where’s Benny Ninja? It’s a lot of stomping and attitude, but nobody wins so why do we care?  There are a couple of stand-outs to me but Azmarie is my favorite.  So for tonight at least, I’m hitching my cart to her horse.

Back at the house, the girls’ bedrooms are assigned by nationality.  The American girls go skinny dipping to the dismay of the Brits.  Ah yes, American girls always raising the class bar.

Jacki O vs. Princess Diana

The photo challenge has the girls taking 3D images while catching them in the air.  They’ll be dressed as American icons vs British icons – Jackie O v Princess Diana.  Yeah, trampolines & grace don’t really go together.

At judging, Tyra tell us she isn’t favoring the Brits.  We’ve already covered this.  But what we haven’t covered is that the models have flag painted on their lips.  The Americans look like they have herpes.  Wait, one of these girls will have a single produced and released?  What if they can’t sing?  And don’t give me any of that auto-tune BS.  This is why the music industry is in the state it is.

Anyway, more girls failed than succeeded tonight, but the judges seems harsher than usual.  Personally, I’m not sure how you do sophisticated Jackie O on a trampoline.  Very bizarre but such is the task.

Simone’s Michele Obama gets best photo.  Runner-up is Kyle for Andy Warhol.  All the Americans are safe while the Brits have 5 girls left on the chopping block.  Jasmia & Ashley are in the bottom 2.  Ashley stays and the guy doing subtitles gets to keep his job another week.

Bottom Line:

Ok, I’ll give this a shot.  But I’m already pissed about the Kardashians next week.

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