One Sentence Summary: We pick up with our favorite Housewife spin-off Bethenny in her second year of marriage, raising her daughter and running her empire.
Melissa: I’m flying solo with Bethenny Ever After because she’s a lot to take, and my partner simply can not take her. So here I am, jumping on the grenade that is Bethenny Frankel – the only Housewife to score herself a spin-off (much to the annoyance of all other Housewives – which is partly why I love her) and 3 seasons of it no less!
Skinny Girl Sangria Launch
What Happened: It’s the Launch Party for Skinny Girl Sangria and Bethenny shows us how she tries to juggle life and marriage and managing her business after selling Skinny Girl to Jim Beam, and the CHA-CHING it done bring!! Yeah, sorry for some reason I felt I had to rhyme for some reason. Now she’s riding the crazy roller coaster taking everyone along for the ride… brand publicity, launch parties, interviews and shooting a few PR clips while trying not to let the camera catch the glazed boredom in Jason’s eyes. Even though she finally has a legit brand in her mind she’s still a little lost with what to do and how to handle herself as a “celebrity”.
Melissa: OK, I need to get bottle of this stuff to taste test – for our readers sake of course. While I wasn’t a fan of the margarita I‘m hoping my love of sangria will help this one out. I digress… Bethenny really needs to learn to get out of a car… I don’t need to know you wear white undies, though I guess I should be thankful there wasn’t a chooch on my TV. I feel I must stop here and give it up to Ms. B for a moment. Bethenny made it, we can snark all we want, she’s done what she set out to do – turn herself into a brand… at 40! Have that be a lesson to the women out there (men too, what the hell), there is no age limit to accomplishing goals – get out there and do it! OK, sorry for the PSA, back to the snark. Side Bar: Nick (food blogger), we need to hang!! The Winey Bitches would LOVE to spend the day eating and blogging with you!
Back at Casa de Frankel
What Happened: We our first moments of “at home down time” with Bethenny. The family and business have the condo busting at the seams and her lease is up soon. While they have found their dream place, for some reason it’s nothing is falling into place not matter what Jason tries to do. Can Jason get the negotiations taken care of so the whole crew isn’t stuck in their tiny place or they’re on the street?
Melissa: OK, there are moments of sheer humor between Bethenny and Jason – ala Bethenny having a conversation on her daughter’s toy cellphone while he’s trying to have a business call. See, that is why I like her, she knows to crack a joke to lighten a mood once and a while.
A Day at the “office”
What Happened: Bethenny shows her “office time” in her condo, in a room that is generously described as the size of my closet. She packs in with hair & make-up, 2 assistants, her daughter and the dog leaving no room for her intern who works in the hallway and needs to climb under a desk to get to files. We can’t escape the scene without a little “girl time” taking a moment to focus on the personal side of life checking in with all the ladies to hear how they are and their love lives.
Melissa: Sweet Mary there are a sh*t ton of women in this office-closet. Are you kidding me? How is that productive?? I’m all for working at home for a little peace and quiet, but I can not fathom how work gets done there… it truly is chaos!! I really can’t help but wonder if spending all this time in such close quarters time has them all cycling together. Sorry, that may have been gross for some, but it happens.
Back at Home
What Happened: More at home down time with Bethenny, Jason and their little girl. Bethenny breaks down the juggling act of being a mom and a business woman with trying to keep her marriage alive… which apparently isn’t working out so great since Jason’s penis “has cobwebs on it”.
Melissa: Man, I gotta say, Bethenny’s little girl is adorbs! However, thanks Captain Obvious… marriage is challenging? You don’t say? You mean effort is involved to actively think about someone other than yourself? No offense Bethenny, you’re not sharing a news flash, but thanks for the image of your man’s cobwebby junk.
Lunch with Jake
What Happened: Bethenny meets up with her bestie Jake to talk about all the cute new restaurants she’s found touring the neighborhood with her daughter.
Melissa: I feel like every scene is a chance for Bethenny to have impromptu “therapy” sessions with her friends, family and co-workers to break down her life and marriage to everyone.
What Happened: Bethenny is all about sharing her therapy sessions, and this one is no exception. This week she shares with her doctor that she essentially has panic attacks and headaches now that she’s married. His solution is to have her start logging when she’s short of breath, anxious and doesn’t sleep to try to work through them.
Melissa: I totally jinxed myself with that comment about therapy at lunch with Jake didn’t I?? I forgot how much Bethenny loves to share her therapy with the viewers. I’m not even pulling out the soapbox on therapy… I’m going radio silence.
Lunch with Lisa Lampanelli
What Happened: Bethenny meets up with girlfriend Lisa Lampanelli to catch up on the craziness of their lives. OK, and once again it’s an insight for men as to what ladies talk about when they get together… and especially when they get together one-on-one. Because women love to over share, we learn that Lisa’s husband Jimmy “big balls” has nothing to do with brazenness but his testicles the size of a Cabernet goblet. Jason calls and gives the good news to Bethenny: they got the apartment.
Melissa: I really wonder how annoyed Jason gets when he watches these episodes and how she bashes him. Seriously men, if you read this, know your woman is having these conversations (if not worse)… be afraid… be very afraid!
What Happened: Bethenny meets Jason to see their new place and plan for the future… The future reconstruction of said new place, and potential babies. After their walk through the couple stops to toast to their victory and discuss sex… Jason clearly wants to dust off the cobwebs by trying to play how many times a week sex becomes excessive (psst, never a good idea). For those of you playing at home… 3 times a week falls into “vacation sex”.
Melissa: The new place is is pretty awesome… except her closet. I get you girl, the closet is key! Now, hopefully the spouse doesn’t read this (who am I kidding… he NEVER does) and bring up “vacation sex” the second we land in Aruba on Friday. Hmmm, Let’s play a game shall we kids? Let’s see if he does in fact read his wife’s blood, sweat and tears… and remind me of the BEA “vacation sex” rule.
Melissa: My deliciously inappropriate Bethenny is back, and I’m SO excited. I love her living her live on the screen so I can feel better about my somewhat controlled chaos.