Real Housewives of Atlanta – Week 12: Make It Rain Down In Africa

One Sentence Summary:  It’s week 2 of Talls vs. the Smalls in South Africa, and we’re fully entrenched in Camp Smalls for this leg of the trip!

Our Thoughts:

Melissa:  It’s with a heavy heart I write solo this week.  My dear partner is off with her family following the sudden passing of her Uncle.  For this I ask that you join me as I raise my glass of Charles Smith Syrah… To Uncle Ira!

OK, back to our Atlanta ladies and their continued trip to South Africa.  Now, let me also pause here and discuss the sheer grasping for content from Bravo – not only do we have multiple weeks of Housewives journeys filled with fluff and bonus “Social” episodes, but get this kids they are bringing back the Miami ladies! You KNOW they are struggling if they think that lot will help ratings!!  I’ll need to stock the cellar for sure when that season kicks off!  OK, sorry, let’s get on with the Atlanta shenanigans.

Let’s get this party started!

The smalls head off to an awesome dinner party at Shereé's friend Kevin's for a little fire twirling excitement. Now this is a Winey Bitch kind of party!!

Melissa:  In case we forgot, Bravo decided to drop us back off with the fight only the local dogs can hear before starting on this week’s episode.  Can’t we all just get along ladies??  Move along to your separate evening activities – because our ears need some down time.  WOW, now I want to hang out with Kevin because his parties rock!!  Fire / sparkler twirling dancers?!  That’s how you kick off a party if you ask me!  Note to self:  hire twirlers for your birthday party.  2nd note to self:  plan to have a birthday party.

When in South Africa… 

While the Smalls kick it at an awesome dinner party the Talls head to Nobu for dinner. Obviously they really want to experience local cuisine.

Melissa:  Nobu for the other ladies… you know because why wouldn’t want to go to a restaurant featuring any type of local cuisine?  Way to embrace the culture Talls!  I mean really, you going to hit a TGIF for after dinner drinks too?

Blame it on the rain

After separate dinners, the ladies meet back up and hit the Jade Nightclub in Cape Town to get their collective grooves on before heading off in the morning for their safari. Naturally Marlo is going in with a bit of a chip on her shoulder and a middle finger for Shereé.

Melissa:  Hmmm, I wonder what Marlo’s etiquette book says about giving Shereé the finger?  Is it a pinky up move, like sipping tea?  Sweet Mary… “Making it rain” too??  I’m so done with you.  Thanks Marlo, it’s people like you that give us normal people a bad name when we travel internationally.  Wisely Phaedra and Kandi pick up said rain and pocket it – nice!

“Now playing the part of ‘Stupid American’…  Marlo Hampton”

Upon arrival to the amazing Game Reserve the ladies ask about standard services like a fitness center and spa. Marlo shows once again how "Stupid American" she can be by demanding the staff send out for hair and make-up people. Aren't her 15 minutes over yet??

Melissa:  This is an amazing Game Reserve, and I’ll put this out there right now, I am so jealous!!  Hell, I’d even take one of the “antique” rooms quite happily.  Oh no, really Marlo??  Hair and make-up service??   I wish they would burn a chunk of your weave to make you pay for your absurd behavior.  Must she complain the entire time about a trip she wasn’t even invited to?  We realize you are trying to become a new Housewife, but I’m about to start a petition to make sure you aren’t!

Breakfast for one

Breakfast starts with Cynthia all on her lonesome waiting for everyone. Meanwhile Marlo and NeNe are taking several hours to prep for the trip to the safari... Including the hair and makeup. I think maybe Cynthia is finally getting annoyed by Marlo as well... Join our camp Cynthia, all are welcome.

Melissa:  I’m right there with you Cynthia, I can’t stand when people are late… makes me absolutely insane!  Also ladies, when you show up and someone has been waiting 20 minutes for you, say a small apology… their time is just as valuable as yours.  Sorry, soapbox away.

Sparkles and Heels – it’s the new safari wardrobe

While the Smalls dress for their safari with boots and comfortable clothing Marlo opts for glitter pants and stilettos. As usual, Phaedra and Kandi are right there with delicious mockery - 2 points for the Smalls.

Melissa:  Oh, now I must give a proper shout out to Phaedra’s disco dancing queen moves mocking Marlo’s pants… I rewound that clip twice!!  She “Looks like a Solid Gold Dancer” – brilliant Kandi!!  Go Smalls!

Safari Time

The Talls stop to look at zebras, their guide explains they are very fearful of humans and for the ladies to stay close to the truck to watch them. Of course Marlo pays no mind at all and sets out for a fabulous photo she can hang in the room where she has a zebra skin rug.

Melissa:  OK Marlo… the man tells you the zebras are afraid of humans, but you walk on with your glitterific sparkle pants to get your picture?  Thank you again for making me cringe at the thought of you representing the rest of us as Americans.

A Shopping we will go

On their way to the orphanage, the ladies stop at a local store to buy some things for the orphanage and villagers. Way to give a little back, you all get an extra point today... Except maybe Marlo.

Melissa:  No Marlo… The kids don’t need perm kits, are you kidding me??  I do appreciate buying supplies for the orphanage and the village… Nice move ladies, you’re kinda  bringing a tear to my eye with the generosity.

Time with the children

A little uncertain at first about the children at the orphanage, the ladies settle in and enjoy spending time.

Melissa:  I am happy to see the women seem to be affected by the experience with the children and the villagers.  Wonder if that spirit of generosity and giving will last?

Bottom Line:

Melissa:  Only one more week of South Africa for the sh*t to hit the safari fan… Let’s go Team Smalls!!


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