One Sentence Summary: It’s week 2 of Talls vs. the Smalls in South Africa, and we’re fully entrenched in Camp Smalls for this leg of the trip!
Melissa: It’s with a heavy heart I write solo this week. My dear partner is off with her family following the sudden passing of her Uncle. For this I ask that you join me as I raise my glass of Charles Smith Syrah… To Uncle Ira!
OK, back to our Atlanta ladies and their continued trip to South Africa. Now, let me also pause here and discuss the sheer grasping for content from Bravo – not only do we have multiple weeks of Housewives journeys filled with fluff and bonus “Social” episodes, but get this kids they are bringing back the Miami ladies! You KNOW they are struggling if they think that lot will help ratings!! I’ll need to stock the cellar for sure when that season kicks off! OK, sorry, let’s get on with the Atlanta shenanigans.
Let’s get this party started!
Melissa: In case we forgot, Bravo decided to drop us back off with the fight only the local dogs can hear before starting on this week’s episode. Can’t we all just get along ladies?? Move along to your separate evening activities – because our ears need some down time. WOW, now I want to hang out with Kevin because his parties rock!! Fire / sparkler twirling dancers?! That’s how you kick off a party if you ask me! Note to self: hire twirlers for your birthday party. 2nd note to self: plan to have a birthday party.
When in South Africa…
Melissa: Nobu for the other ladies… you know because why wouldn’t want to go to a restaurant featuring any type of local cuisine? Way to embrace the culture Talls! I mean really, you going to hit a TGIF for after dinner drinks too?
Blame it on the rain
Melissa: Hmmm, I wonder what Marlo’s etiquette book says about giving Shereé the finger? Is it a pinky up move, like sipping tea? Sweet Mary… “Making it rain” too?? I’m so done with you. Thanks Marlo, it’s people like you that give us normal people a bad name when we travel internationally. Wisely Phaedra and Kandi pick up said rain and pocket it – nice!
“Now playing the part of ‘Stupid American’… Marlo Hampton”
Melissa: This is an amazing Game Reserve, and I’ll put this out there right now, I am so jealous!! Hell, I’d even take one of the “antique” rooms quite happily. Oh no, really Marlo?? Hair and make-up service?? I wish they would burn a chunk of your weave to make you pay for your absurd behavior. Must she complain the entire time about a trip she wasn’t even invited to? We realize you are trying to become a new Housewife, but I’m about to start a petition to make sure you aren’t!
Breakfast for one
Melissa: I’m right there with you Cynthia, I can’t stand when people are late… makes me absolutely insane! Also ladies, when you show up and someone has been waiting 20 minutes for you, say a small apology… their time is just as valuable as yours. Sorry, soapbox away.
Sparkles and Heels – it’s the new safari wardrobe
Melissa: Oh, now I must give a proper shout out to Phaedra’s disco dancing queen moves mocking Marlo’s pants… I rewound that clip twice!! She “Looks like a Solid Gold Dancer” – brilliant Kandi!! Go Smalls!
Melissa: OK Marlo… the man tells you the zebras are afraid of humans, but you walk on with your glitterific sparkle pants to get your picture? Thank you again for making me cringe at the thought of you representing the rest of us as Americans.
A Shopping we will go
Melissa: No Marlo… The kids don’t need perm kits, are you kidding me?? I do appreciate buying supplies for the orphanage and the village… Nice move ladies, you’re kinda bringing a tear to my eye with the generosity.
Time with the children
Melissa: I am happy to see the women seem to be affected by the experience with the children and the villagers. Wonder if that spirit of generosity and giving will last?
Melissa: Only one more week of South Africa for the sh*t to hit the safari fan… Let’s go Team Smalls!!