One Sentence Summary: Mugshots, double dates and the Vice President of Ghana… Oh my but the ladies are busy this week!
Melissa: I’m on my own this week, the other winey bitch is busy with the stuff that pays the bills, so you’re all stuck with me at the controls! Well now, I have no title on my DVR for this week and it makes me awful nervous that we’re going to get repackaged strange repeat wrapped in some new spin “Social Networking” crap that is just a repeat with random tweets – come on Bravo, do you need the Winey Bitches need to pitch a few shows for you? OK, a legit episode and by legit they’re talking packing heat which can only mean Kroy persuades Kim to go shoot some guns. Personally, I think every woman should try shooting guns just once… It’s fun. I might be a bit biased because one place referred to my husband as Mr. Melissa – still makes me chuckle. I digress, let’s get on with the Atlanta ladies.
Go ahead make her day
Melissa: Yep, Kim is going shooting with Kroy! You know he’s going to convince her to get a gun, but really, who doesn’t love pink guns!! I also think anything that allows Kim to hear a cha-ching of a purchase being made makes her happy. Funny, I never had to start with the air gun – I must have looked like I knew what I was doing. There we go, I called it Kim is getting her own 9! Maybe that will make her feel a little more comfortable around NeNe.
Melissa: Well at least Cynthia and Peter seem to be in a little better place than the last time we saw the two of them. But, a double date with Phaedra and Apollo?? Oh boy, bring on the testosterone levels. Now Phaedra, not everyone is as enamored by dead people as you, don’t start recruiting all the Housewives for your venture. Hang on now… It’s the Housewives mantra I know, channeling their inner Rodney King. Could they all be getting along? Looks like South Africa is this season’s “road trip”! Now let’s see who all goes and let’s take some bets who is going to end up screeching at who! A quickie call from Cynthia to NeNe about the trip… nope, she isn’t down with the idea, but let’s see if she can be persuaded… NeNe sweetie, it would mean more air time!!
Business as Usual
Melissa: NeNe stops to visit her new partner and why is her voice SO high (“Trump” – drink!! Did I make that drinking game declaration)?? Oh, that’s right, I forgot she wants to open a lounge with John as a backer. Good call NeNe, a lounge that is “fabulous”… best not to shoot for a lounge that’s meh. But you see, she explains how it’s easy for her to negotiate with John since he adores her… and of course it comes with red-soled presents. Really, is that how people do business? He’s just so creepy I don’t care how many shoes he buys!
Get your Africa on
Melissa: Kandi and Phaedra head off to African Dance class. OMG Phaedra, thank goodness I wasn’t drinking anything with that: “Naked women with their breasts out all jingy-jingy-jingy” comment, Lord woman, you make me laugh!! I think when the Winey Bitches get a spot on Kandi Koated Nights your NEED to stop by! Speaking of, Kandi has been checking the blogs and found Marlo’s mug shots: bad checks, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Kandi’s decided to watch her back just in case with Miss Marlo… smart call my dear!
Melissa: Kim’s psychic Rose tells her she’s going to get pregnant again? Well I’m sure she’ll need something to snap Kroy back into place when he starts traveling again. Rose also sees that Kroy has a lot of anxiety – hmmm… Maybe his woman burning through his money makes him a little apprehensive. Kim has been through a “world wind” with her friends… Oh, I love these woman who can’t speak!!
Do Not Touch
Melissa: GOOD LAWD looking up the mannequin’s cloth?! Come on – it is a mannequin!! You’re a a connoisseur of Artistic Nudity Phaedra? Oh, that’s genius, did you get that intimate understanding from your stripper clients? The words that come out of your mouth are amazing my dear. Finally, broaching the subject of South Africa with Shereé, and if she’d still go if NeNe goes… I’m going to call it now that it’s a bad idea, but they never listen to me when I yell at the television.
Can you hear me now?
Melissa: You know he’s on the other line thinking: “who the hell is this woman with the shitty ass phone signal, get on a land line you fool!!”
Do as Mama says
Melissa: Because we just can’t pass on a “can’t we all get along” moment with the Housewives, Joyce forces Kim, Shereé and NeNe into hellos. I’ll be honest here, Mama Joyce does speak the truth and to act petty is just not worth it. Hell, if Mama Joyce tells me to hop on one foot, guess what, I’m going to ask her which foot, just have to have some respect for the woman. NeNe and Kim give Joyce the what’s what on her not wanting to talk to each other. Post dinner NeNe gets convinced she should think about the trip, I told you she’d put up a fight but at the end of the day it allows her more air time for screeching.
Melissa: I can’t wait until all of these ladies are trapped on a plane together – that’s some must see excitement!!