One Sentence Summary: Kyle’s “White Party” comes with a blackball for Taylor & Russell.
Rachel: Since Bravo has decided to pepper our DVR’s with “bonuses” all week, we have already seen about 10 minutes of tonight’s episode. I guess they’re running out of programming being that every time I turn on Bravo “Millionaire Matchmaker” is on. And since Andy needs material now to fill 5 days of “Watch What Happens”, I guess random Housewives episodes and sneak peeks are going to be the norm. So, since we now know that Adrienne calls Kyle and basically says, “It’s Taylor or us.” there should be some good drama tonight. Nothing says theatrics like an ultimatum between friends. And since Kyle loves to play both sides against the middle, I can’t imagine she handles being “the middle” very well.
Melissa: It’s Kyle’s “White Party” and Russell gets Taylor uninvited because he’s threatening to sue Camille. Apparently, one can file a lawsuit against someone for speaking – who knew? Let the drama begin!
Melissa: I find it interesting that we have to see so much of Paul. Oh, it’s a catalyst for Adrienne to tell us that Russell is threatening to sue Camille for false and slanderous remarks. Oh boy, looks like the Winey Bitches might have to worry if speaking your mind and pointing out the obvious is grounds for a lawsuit.
Rachel: I guess this is the point in this season where the wheels come off the Russell cart. Thus far, he’s been rather tame but threatening a lawsuit over shit your wife said is crazy. I get there is probably a panic that this will ruin business for him, but guess what, you let your wife sign up for a reality show. What did you think was going to happen when the cameras starting recording the mess that is your marriage? I can’t necessarily blame Adrienne for worrying… He’s already emailed Lisa and now threatened Camille. Honestly, I can only imagine the drama yarn Taylor has spun for him. Can you imagine what he heard the night she stumbled in from the Malibu Barbie party?
Because We Haven’t Witnessed Every Detail…
Rachel: Bravo is going to have to pay for the therapy I’m going to need after having to deal with this creepy creepster all season. I will admit that he did bring over a good band. I give him that. It fully cracks me up that Lisa gets all weepy during the ballad and wipes her eye on Pandora’s cardigan. Ha… Genius. And question to the peeps… Jason, good looking or no? I can’t decide. I think he’s a nice looking guy but he seems so boring that I can’t quite give him a full stamp of approval. What say you?
Melissa: OY, more Kevin. So, Lisa is a fan… break out the dancing in the… whatever room they’re in. Please let this be the last we hear of his shrill opinions.
Let The Tables Turn
Melissa: Kyle’s worried about all the weird dynamics of the party and she hasn’t even heard about the lawsuit threat yet. Never fear, Adrienne brings her up to speed – and silly thought it was just going to be “weird”. Now it’s full on awkward.
Rachel: OK, I love to rip on Kyle but you also know I give props where props are due… And Kyle gets props for wearing a No H8 t-shirt during party prep. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt that she has the t-shirt because she’s a supporter and not because she got it in a gift bag. OK, is it a mandatory for the Housewives (in all cities) to panic about their parties not being set-up while they get their hair & make-up done? I’d like to say Adrienne is over-reacting, but I’m thinking she’s probably right in this case. Well, maybe I’m really thinking it’s gonna cause an awesome fight so I’m egging her on. It’s one or the other… (It’s the latter…)
Deny Deny Deny
Rachel: Awesome plan, Kim. Just deny deny deny. A giant rock on your left hand ring finger is an engagement ring. Just tell your kids and your family that they have to deal with it. None of them are children… Although babbling incoherently about everyone getting along is an interesting tactic to try and throw them off. I know I’m confused.
Melissa: Kim’s girls spy “the promise ring” (and here I was wondering why our blog spiked with hits on Kim’s picture of her ring) and question it being merely a promise. Well, I’m now confused. Why all the tears last week about her kids hating Ken but yet her girls seem perfectly OK with it all?
Planning The Plan
Melissa: Camille still makes it for the party, but Kyle seems to be in a complete tizzy needing to talk to Lisa to figure out how to handle Taylor and Russell. Ah, Taylor has been MIA all day so that’s why Kyle can’t reach her to tell her not to come. At least Mauricio gets a little second base action with all of Kyle’s drama.
Rachel: And so it begins… Gee I wonder why Taylor hasn’t answered the phone. I can only imagine the messages Kyle has been leaving. And way to ask Lisa for advice and then yell at her when she gives it. I have never understood women like that. But we are talking about Kyle and I understand about 10% of her choices so this shouldn’t surprise me. Oh and Lisa, with the defending Taylor about the emails. You have to be kidding me that you don’t think she knew. Seriously. Oh if only there was instant replay available at all Housewives functions.
And On Other Battlefields
Rachel: You’re not putting up with it anymore? Exactly what are you putting up with Kim? You’re such an asshole. Someone please put a sock in her mouth… Or drop another muscle relaxer in her drink. Ken, seriously, pull her out of the room. Well, at least Brandi is smart enough to keep her cool. Kudos for taking Kim’s wild insanity with class, Brandi. It’s such a rare occasion that these run-ins don’t escalate to screaming. OMG, I cannot wait until the reunion when Kim sees what a dick she was. Then again, Kim might not be there due to her stint in rehab. Hmmm… Maybe they can Skype her in.
Melissa: OK, I know I ask this like every other week, but is Kim on something? And seriously, why does she hate Brandi so much? I really don’t understand what what the hell happened that Kim is being a gigantic freak about Brandi. I tell you what, if I were Brandi and Kim was pointing her finger at me like that… she’d pull back a broken little stump. Ken needs to just walk her away from that situation because he’s letting her make a complete ass out of herself.
WOW, everyone is getting to second base at the White Party… Now Dana is feeling Kim’s boobs to make sure she didn’t get them done so she can tell everyone else that Kim’s breasts are the real thing.
Melissa: Finally, Taylor and Russell are off to the party and Russell is planning to be the last to leave because he’s going to party ‘til the break of dawn. I don’t want to challenge their new-found happiness, but really, how forced and staged was that scene? I really don’t understand why Kyle is so upset – OK, maybe that’s because I’ve never been put into a situation where a friend’s husband is threatening litigation against another friend for speaking. But isn’t it acceptable to just say, “This is the deal and it puts me in a situation I don’t want to be in. I’m sorry.” I also wonder why Taylor hasn’t returned any of Kyle’s calls. I mean, if a friend calls and says you need to call me before you come to the party, I’m gonna call. Of course, I’m assuming they are asking me to pick up ice on the way and not tell me I’m no longer invited.
So Taylor is going to do the guilt thing to Kyle saying they will go and get back on the plane they just got off of to come to the party, and the confrontation goes to the car. What I don’t really get is why Kyle is so emotional about all of this… It’s pretty clear Taylor didn’t see the email. Russell has threatened a lawsuit if Camille says anything more about private matters (BTW, nothing is private when you’re on RHO – Sorry, just had to put on my Captain Obvious cap for a second)… Though I kind of get her trying to do the damage control with everyone.
Rachel: Oh boy… Here we go. If they are building us up for a non-event, I’m going to get mad. Side note: I’m really liking Paul more and more this season. He has his moments, but he seems to be the one rational voice in this whole monster of a crew. Did everyone in the cast (spare Camille) need to be present for this scene? Way to ambush Taylor & Russell. Well, this didn’t go well. Of course, uninviting someone to your party when they’re on your doorstep couldn’t possibly go well. But let’s all be clear that the issue here is Taylor playing everyone and not taking responsibility for her actions. Even if she didn’t know about the email, she has been telling her friends things that she wants to keep private & then bawling people out about it, all while filming a TV show about her life. Uh, not the best plan. I’m not sure that this moment was handled the right way by the “angry mob”, but if you’re going to go around threatening your friends, at some point you’re going to get kicked out of the group.
Rachel: So, if you can get sued for repeating things you’ve been told, can you get sued for repeating what was repeated while kicking someone out of a party? It’s all very murky legalese.
Melissa: So Taylor and Russell skulk away from the party while everyone wonders what the aftermath will be and how it will impact Hawaii.