One Sentence Summary: Bravo subjects us to a second hour of Atlanta Housewives this week with no rhyme or reason for that decision.
Melissa: Bravo must be desperate for shows since we’re getting a 2-fer Atlanta Housewives this week. Still not sure why the extra episode, but you know me… I love these ladies.
Rachel: Really, Bravo? We need another random hour of Housewives? I’m confused. What is usually shown on our random Tuesday night? I guess I can’t be too mad being that we’re in a bit of a lull with our show watching. All I know is that there had better be a whole lotta Phaedra going on. I’m thinking there must be if the show is called “Law By Sheree” being that she’s her lawyer. You know how I like to talk about starting a petition for things that bug me, but never do… Well, I’m proposing that I talk about starting a blog to get Phaedra her own show. At some point, I’m going to actually get my arse in gear and actually start one. At some point… not this point.
You’ve Been Served
Melissa: I still don’t understand if the child support is mandated why the court isn’t going after his pay checks… makes no sense. Seems she’s never had much luck with the courts in the past so she’s a bit jaded… then again if the courts haven’t gone after anything up to this point I can kind of see her point.
Rachel: I love that they have no compunction about showing how much and how little Bob Whitfield makes. I mean maybe he doesn’t make much money but they are his $@!#&* kids! Take care of taking care of them! I mean it just galls me that someone thinks they don’t have to take care of their kids because their ex makes enough money. I hope that googly-eyed monster gets what’s coming to him.
Kandi Koated Nights!!
Melissa: Oh hey now… women don’t preserve themselves as well as they should. Exsqueeze me?? Ah, the act how you want to be treated. I don’t know… I don’t understand why the men get to make up the rules on that one… but that’s just my opinion. Another attempt is made to bring up the Charles / NeNe angle that was hot in the blogs, nicely danced around my friend… and still we have no details.
Rachel: Again, I say that Kandi needs to have some Winey Bitches on her show. Well, I don’t know who this Charles is (which is sad because I love me some NFL), but I’m gonna have to agree with him. I don’t get women that think men are going to work hard for something you’re giving away for free. We teach men how we want to be treated. If you make it easy, they’ll take the easy way. That’s for real. I read it in a Steve Harvey book.
Welcome Home KJ
Melissa: The boy makes his way home. I love the smudgy babies, there’s just something so sweet about the little ones. Poor kid, has no idea what he’s in for – might as well just call the kid Truman with the airtime I’m sure his mom is going to try to score.
Rachel: Wow, that entire scene was just Kim being totally classless. Thanks for sharing.
Melissa: Cynthia is still hanging in NYC with NeNe shopping vintage which NeNe disapproves of. Cynthia tries to talk dirt about the whole NeNe/ Charles/ Marlo business. With all this talk of Marlo one would think they are trying to set her up to be a new Housewife.
Rachel: What on earth is happening on Cynthia’s head? Well, I can’t imagine these ladies would deign to wear used clothing being that they can’t even live in used homes. Why are we discussing Charles and Nene? Does anyone really care? Unless they’re buttering us up for a brawl coming down the pike, can we move on?
Playing up the dressing down
Melissa: Sheree visits Phaedra with her new Porsche (um, what happened to the Bentley??)… I have to agree with Phaedra on the whole perception to the judges – not a good idea to claim poverty driving a new sports car carrying Hermès – ya silly ass woman!
Rachel: I’m with you there Phaedra. While I’m all about men stepping up and taking care of their children, I’m also all about calling someone out for being stupid about their spending in the face of a lawsuit about finances. I mean really Sheree? Are you that vapid that you need to roll around in a Porsche with your Hermes while you complain about not getting child support? Listen to Phaedra. Perception is reality. And I love me some Phaedra commentary. Seriously, I could watch an hour of her just commenting on life. Again, I ask why isn’t she getting her own show?
Happiness and Joy
Melissa: I love the comments “nice strong motor.” Heehee… Sorry, I went all 9 year old there for a second. I really do hope that one day Two Winey Bitches get to meet Kandi because I adore her and her wonderful attitude about everything. Kandi, if you read this… we would LOVE to do a Kandi Koated Nights with you!! Plus I would know someone with a toy line… not saying I’d hit her up for the friends and family discount, but…
Rachel: Did they really just bust out a vibrator on a table in a restaurant? Someone should have busted out with an “I’ll have what she’s having” moment a la When Harry Met Sally. I’m just thinking you might want to have that meeting in a private office where kids can’t run up and ask if you can put the tickler on their nose. Just a thought.
A for… Affort??
Melissa: Kim can’t do any heavy lifting since she had little KJ, so Sweetie must take care of the washing of the wigs… m’kay. Way to milk that one Kim! As for you Bravo… Really, an entire scene of Kim’s wigs? Really, there isn’t enough fluff. Don’t create extra episodes and bring that weak shit to my TV!!
Rachel: Am I the only one worried about Brielle? I get that she’s a teenager but there’s a lot of unresolved issues bubbling to the top here. Perhaps some family counseling is in order… for them all. I mean I wasn’t expecting Kim to be Mother Of The Year but seriously? Your kid doesn’t know how to spell effort and your assistant is telling her that an “E” is a good grade??? I weep for our future. Well, I weep for our present too but that’s for another blog.
The Check Is In The Mail
Melissa: See, this is why you shouldn’t work for friends – especially if there’s money involved, it’s not going to end well.
Rachel: Ok, anyone in my general vicinity might want to vacate the premises immediately as there is a good chance I’m going to get struck by lightning after this next statement. I’m sorry to be the one to say it, but Phaedra’s assistant Latoya reminds me of Jamie Foxx’s character Wanda on In Living Color… Well, maybe Wanda’s prettier sister. Look, I just call ’em like I see ’em. As does my girl, Phaedra. Personally, I would take a Birkin bag as payment as well. Anyone need some writing done? I’m available.
Save It For The Judge
Melissa: Seriously, playing it up for the cameras when no one will see this for months isn’t going to do you any good. Thankfully Phaedra is ready with a few reassuring words that the day will be the easiest she’s ever had.
Time To Meet Your Awkward Family KJ
Melissa: In the history of strange conversations my father and I have had over the years, there has never been talk about anyone squeezing my boobs… and especially not with hand squeeze gestures! Poor dog keeps going in the house… anyone want to take bets on the dog “running away” one of these weeks?
Rachel: Well, the class parade continues when Kim’s parents come to visit. Nice mouth, Dad. No wonder Kim thinks it’s appropriate to swear like a truck driver in front of her children. Apparently, Chanel, the dog, is about as thrilled to be part of this nightmare as I am. I’d take a dump on that carpet too if that was my life sentence.
Melissa: Court time… and Bob is representing himself – looking a hot mess according to Phaedra. BAM… petition of contempt from Bob! Looks like Phaedra didn’t see that one coming… oh my!
Rachel: I love that Sheree’s mother came to the courthouse. It’s good to have mom on your side when you’re in a bad situation. So let me understand this… If you go to Stanford (presumably on a football scholarship), you are prepared to represent yourself in court? Seeing as how he’s running through the courthouse sticking his tongue out at Sheree, I can understand how that’s true. Clearly, that’s the behavior of a well-educated, mature adult.
Tears For Lunch
Rachel: Oh boy… Baby Daddy tears all over the place. Man, I don’t envy these women having to go through this mess. Sometimes I think I may be the lucky one having stayed single all this time. That being said, I’m also available for fix-ups with highly-screened eligible men, as well as writing assignments.
Melissa: Even after the episode I don’t know why we had and extra one, but next week is moving time for Kim, and things get a little tense with Cynthia’s opening.